Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

What's it worth?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> What's it worth? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 6:08:35 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		I see so many impassioned people here that  are so consumed by the thought of D/s that they are wiling to upset their lives.. so I'm asking: 
 
What did you or would you give up for D/s?
 
Your old Friends?
 
Your marriage?
 
Your Family?
 
(To paraphrase a Pennsylvania Dutch saying " D/s don't last.. loving do".  D/s goes through changes)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 6:12:12 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Jerking off.

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 6:12:16 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		I gave up my marriage. It wasn't fair for me to need something he could never supply *other reasons applied as well*.
Friends..I think I've lost some when I shared WIITWD.
Yes it was worth it. I'm alone but at least I am me. I no longer have to hide and wow that feels good.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 6:14:05 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

I gave up my marriage. It wasn't fair for me to need something he could never supply *other reasons applied as well*.
Friends..I think I've lost some when I shared WIITWD.
Yes it was worth it. I'm alone but at least I am me. I no longer have to hide and wow that feels good.


How long has it been?

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 6:16:05 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I would give them all up if it required staying true to myself.

Thankfully nothing in my life has occurred which would require having to choose.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 6:17:10 PM   
BabyNyla


Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline
I would have given up friends and family ... I would much rather prefer to be me than to pretend to be something I'm not.  But luckily everyone was really supportive.  My friends constantly ask questions, which is good, because they're learning that not all stereotypes are true.  And my family jokes about it at the dinner table and when I tell my brother he's going to hell for his potty mouth he retaliates that at least he doesn't tie people up and beat them for fun ... so I am thankful that I haven't had to give up anything to live the life I want :)


_____________________________

My Journal

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 6:19:08 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I try to think more of what I have gained by embracing my submission and being true to myself as a slave, than what I have given up.  That which I have shed were the things holding me back from being myself.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 6:22:08 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		In some round-a-bout ways, I gave up my marriage. Due to my feelings that Mastery is a spiritual path and also my growing Pagan BDSM (or modern primitive type) spirituality, my second husband and I grew more apart than we already were. In the end, it wasn't my interest in Ms that ended the marriage, but it made me grow in ways that didn't make staying together any easier.

Now, I'm selling my home and quitting my job in order to 1) move closer to my girl and 2) go back to school. My "religion" has changed. I came out to my mom, who accepted me...as well as some of her sisters and brothers. I recently published a book using my real name, so I'm pretty "out". I have no children to loose. All the real friends that I have are either in the lifestyle or lifestyle friendly.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 6:34:26 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

What did you or would you give up for D/s?

No

quote:

Your marriage?


 
No

quote:

Your Family?


 
Oh Hell No!

I cannot envision having to give up true friends, or my family to have a D/s relationship.. why? If they could not accept me having found out about how we choose to define our private and personal relationship, well what would I have lost? it is not like I am in their face with it. It is a non-issue in my mind. It is none of their business anyways. I am going to be 39 years old soon, I am old enough to make my own decisions...

Now I do not have an issue with the marriage thing, it does not apply to me.


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 6:40:40 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

I gave up my marriage. It wasn't fair for me to need something he could never supply *other reasons applied as well*.
Friends..I think I've lost some when I shared WIITWD.
Yes it was worth it. I'm alone but at least I am me. I no longer have to hide and wow that feels good.


How long has it been?


I was married for almost 20 years and got divorced July 05.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 6:53:12 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I see so many impassioned people here that  are so consumed by the thought of D/s that they are wiling to upset their lives.. so I'm asking: 
 What did you or would you give up for D/s?
 Your old Friends?
 Your marriage?
 Your Family?
 (


Wow, what a thought provoking question!
my friends changed...some i had to let go
i use discretion with my family but otherwise, i have "gained"  from my realization of my submissiveness and intro into BDSM. While none of my D/s relationships have become permanent, they have all been incredible learning experiences. i certainly enjoy myself more sexually since discovering D/s :-)



_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 7:07:25 PM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline 		Most of my  friends know that i'm a submissive "type", and that i usually choose dominant "type" men, they also think i'm a bit kinky and know i like spankings and like things a bit rough...so...luckily thats not an issue for me.

My family...well....they just know i'm a  bit kinky....nothing else is any of their business, and i cannot imagine a scenario  involving D/s that would cause me to turn my back or walk away from my family.

Marriage?...well...the only thing that would make me give up a marriage would be because i was unhappy....i wouldn't leave a marriage for D/s per se.



(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 7:59:01 PM   
reamer


Posts: 57
Joined: 1/16/2007
Status: offline 		The answer depends (for me) on what DS yu are referring to.

If it is my optimal DS, which includes a day to day romantic relationship, by my optimal desires for both, then everything.

If it is the "relationships I have been offered by women in the past", both for romance and DS, which were 60% or more of what they wanted and 30% or less of what I wanted, then the answer is "not much at all".

(in reply to spankmepink11)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 8:13:17 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I got involved in WIITWD full-time immediately after a divorce to an all-too-vanilla wife.  Wanting to explore had come up (actually prior to getting married), but either having that ability or not was the sole or main factor in getting divorced.  Having said that, it (divorce) bringing me 'here' was certainly for the best.

I don't really have family any longer, but I'm certain they would not have approved.

I can cultivate friendships with vanillas if I wish, but I don't, so I fairly well keep to myself (happily).

It would be fair to say that my feelings for WIITWD would be to say it is one of the few things in life of value to me.  The vanilla world holds little for me other than mere sustenance.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 8:17:57 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Left a bad marriage after trying to make it work for 18 years. Got rid of almost everything I owned, moved to a new state to be with my Sir. It's almost been a year now and I have never been happier or more sure that what I did was right.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 8:19:44 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline 		i haven't given anything up, only added to. i don't feel that my choice of lifestyle is anyone's business except those i believe will understand; and i happen to think that understanding ONLY comes from experience. i think acceptance and tolerance happen without experience, but true understanding doesn't. As a result, i don't share what i do, how i feel or anything with anyone who hasn't had a similiar experience and who will understand. Then it's more a matter of comradery (sp??) than understanding.
 
i don't feel like a liar or a phoney because i don't tell everyone i know all about things they wouldn't understand no more than i feel like a liar or a phoney because i don't tell the grocery clerk all about who i am. It's no one's business except mine and my Master's and i don't need approval, disapproval, acceptance or anything like that. i am who i am, period. i feel no need to explain who i am, why i am or what i like to anyone. Those who are similar to myself need no explanation and those who aren't, wouldn't understand anyway.

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 9:31:45 PM   
gandalf0297


Posts: 148
Joined: 8/6/2006
Status: offline 		Everthing but family.

_____________________________

"The best things cannot be said. The second best are misunderstood." (Joseph Campbell.)

(in reply to slavemaia)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 10:46:30 PM   
classykindasassy


Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline 		I have not given up anything. I don't talk about my private life with people who have no frame of reference or need to hear it. I have nothing to prove and no approval to score re my BDSM interests.

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to gandalf0297)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 10:52:51 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

What did you or would you give up for D/s?
Haven't given up anything, nor do I intend to give up anything in being more honest about who I am.   The only think I have just about given up is dating vanilla guys who don't indicate a hint of submissive undertone to their personalities.

quote:

Your old Friends?
 
Your marriage?
 
Your Family? 
I would give up old friends if they were hindering my life to that extent, and marriage I've only experimented with, and you could say D/s factored into my giving it up; but I would never give up my family, and I would never need to either because my D/s doesn't entail anything so overt/out there that it humiliates my family.    M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What's it worth? - 1/28/2007 10:59:18 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I see so many impassioned people here that  are so consumed by the thought of D/s that they are wiling to upset their lives.. so I'm asking: 
 
What did you or would you give up for D/s?
 
Your old Friends?
 
Your marriage?
 
Your Family?
 
(To paraphrase a Pennsylvania Dutch saying " D/s don't last.. loving do".  D/s goes through changes)


I have no reason to have to make a choice.  I can have Ds in my life and still have my family and my friendships. 
My marriage is over for reasons that could include my Ds desires being something he found mockable, but really our problems were there way before that and were far more complicated than our differences in that area.  So I can say Ive lost nothing because of Ds itself.  Im finally in a position in my life, practically and emotionally where I am free to be true to those desires. 

< Message edited by marieToo -- 1/28/2007 11:00:34 PM >

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> What's it worth? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109