toservez
Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
You know, when I was looking fakes were pretty easy to spot. I was also not emotionally involved with strangers that emailed me. If they wanted to meet and I did too, fine, but generally speaking it was not a problem.
What I find is that many people are lazy. They do not want to take the time to get to know someone because they "might" be fake. When one looks for a job they have to make up a resume, send it to perspective employers, show up for interviews, train for the job once they find it... then they are on probation usually when they first start. It takes time to find a good to excellent job. Why should finding a good to excellent relationship be any easier? When the job that you wanted does not hire you, is it a "fake" job?
In order to prosper in this life one has to be willing to take risks, if someone is unwilling to risk they are not going to go anywhere or do anything. It is just the way it is.
I love this. It is perfect to my thoughts and experience with online.
My looking at profiles it is pretty darn easy to spot people who are not serious, living in fantasy land, or are not going to put in the great effort needed to make something like online searching work out. The biggest mistakes I see males do time and time again when I have talked to them and see them complain on the boards is that they will write and talk to anyone who writes them back and wait to get burned by them disappearing or Emailing for months and months instead of just stopping the wishful thinking and stop the pattern before they get burned and frustrated.
There is just an obsession with many on these sites the product of a combination of sheer laziness and frustration to try to make this search void of all human nature and to install many completely artificial demands and guidelines in the name of weeding out fakes but often is also trying to serve the purpose of avoiding effort and pushing their preference and timing of what they want to happen on the other when that person is a complete stranger to you. It ends up looking very stupid. I am not going to be accused of being a fake by proxy and therefore have to jump through hoops for a complete stranger. It sounds so cool to make demands like must phone after second message but the truth is this crap probably eliminates many sincere people as much as the fakes and never going to go real time ones. Of course if they live close by and cannot meet very soon dump them but when talking of significant distance people have to be more open to things.
My experience the men who put in the effort to their profiles and messages did not need to pollute them with comments about fakers and other negative crap. They did not need to put in artificial demands. They also would never make comments about most they contact are fakes because they did not experience that. I think many who do come across the fakes as the main ones they are attracting need to put out a better and more discerning effort. Look within themselves instead of lashing outward.
You get what you give in life.
< Message edited by toservez -- 2/1/2007 12:57:59 PM >
_____________________________
I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.
"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama
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RE: spotting fakes - 
Profile
. The one that did not have these expectations was the one that got the real deal..smiles 
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