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Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 5:38:56 AM

MaryT

Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

I have a question on how people feel about their toys. The last dom I played with was reluctant to tinker with my stuff (leather implements). My collection has expanded and now includes bondage paraphernalia. I was talking to new Dom last night and it went something like this:

Him: So, what do you like?

Me: I like leather cuffs.

Him: I have leather cuffs, and a blindford and gags.

That's cool and all. But I want to play with my stuff someday. I don't know why. Maybe because they don't have another submissive's cooties on them?

I gather that there is a feeling of power in possession, at least in male Doms (for example, always taking his car) that extends to toys. Am I right in this thought? I'm not talking about insertables and the like. Even if my thinking is correct, surely there is some appeal to be found in a submissive that comes fully equipped?

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Post #: 1

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 5:59:09 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

I wouldn't own anything if it wasn't for him. He made my leather collar and cuffs himself and also made almost everything that he clouts me with, too. I love them because he made them especially for me, not because I'm into them, as objects.. I'm not interested in *stuff* for stuffs sake. If it wasn't for him, I'd have much more space in my wardrobe, actually......lol.

agirl

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 2

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 6:11:49 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I would not want someone else's toys used on me, yeck.
I've always felt that the bottom/sub/slave should be the one in possession of the implements. Not all of them can be sanitized. And the thought of having a toy inserted that had been elsewhere, is cootie-like.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 3

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 6:22:18 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

I don't know about other Dominants, but I actually prefer my partner to have their own toys related to anything that is insertable. It is just safer these days, even if you follow all the proper cleaning rules. Otherwise I have a lot of toys I have collected myself and if my submissive has her own toys I'm more than happy to use them as well. I can't give you an answer as to why Doms would not want to use yours.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 4

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 6:24:20 AM

MaryT

Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I would not want someone else's toys used on me, yeck.
I've always felt that the bottom/sub/slave should be the one in possession of the implements. Not all of them can be sanitized. And the thought of having a toy inserted that had been elsewhere, is cootie-like.

Yep, downright risky even ...

Thanks for your thoughts.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 5

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 6:24:46 AM

mymasterssub69

Posts: 566
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

agreed - if the toys aren't mine or come new from the box or package, not using. it's very unsanitary and i'm not taking that risk with my health

_____________________________

there is something infinitely magical
about a Daddy Dom
...something only a little girl
can understand.

collared on 16th Jan 2007 by bigsambaman, my Daddy

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 6

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 6:27:31 AM

MaryT

Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic

I don't know about other Dominants, but I actually prefer my partner to have their own toys related to anything that is insertable. It is just safer these days, even if you follow all the proper cleaning rules.

I won't mess with intimate stuff that is not mine.

quote:

Otherwise I have a lot of toys I have collected myself and if my submissive has her own toys I'm more than happy to use them as well

.

Thanks.

(in reply to SirDominic)

Post #: 7

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 6:28:46 AM

LadyAlexa

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline

I'm a strong believer in subs having their own toys/implements. My subs all have their own bags while I have a variety of toys/hardware that I use i.e. ropes, spreader bars, dungeon furniture. Any insertable is specific for a specific sub.

Doms, in my opinion, state what they have equipment wise in order to intice a submissive to want to play [or possibly just to get to know each other more]. Possibly they think a sub which has equipment will try to top from the bottom. Or be in charge, or is a switch.

_____________________________

Lady Alexa
[amber]

Submission is key not gender.

GLBT approved.

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 8

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 6:29:50 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

It's more that these things are only used for me, because I'm me, especially for me. It's an emotional thing, not a hygiene factor.

agirl

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 9

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 6:53:23 AM

childofpain

Posts: 44
Joined: 1/16/2007
Status: offline

i have all my own toys...comes from being owned for so many year. being a germ-a-phob i don't want anything touching me that is not mine. i think it is ok to use a subs toys...i would hope that the Dom would understand...like gags...did the person before me have cold sores? the flogger...did the falls in anyway touch the pus of the girl before me...would you really want to dip your leather in bleach???? if it was me i would bring these fears up to the Dom, if He can't understand....his lose not yours.

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 10

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 7:23:41 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I like when a bottom has their own toys because it shows they are prepared, take responsibility for their own pleasure, have been around awhile and I have a ready made set of "things I know they can enjoy and like."

I find it's often the bottoms who are reluctant to get their own set because they CAN be expensive and time consuming to build up, there is an expectation that the top should provide and the bottom should simply be passive and show up, and novice bottoms want to play even though they haven't collected any toys (traditional ones at least).

http://www.collarchat.com/m_704123/mpage_1/key_top%252Ctoys/tm.htm#704133
Owning toys

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 2/1/2007 7:25:50 AM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 11

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 7:25:04 AM

MaryT

Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAlexa
Doms, in my opinion, state what they have equipment wise in order to entice a submissive to want to play [or possibly just to get to know each other more.

I believe that probably was the case during the phone call, and I globablized based one prior experience.

quote:

Possibly they think a sub which has equipment will try to top from the bottom. Or be in charge, or is a switch.

Now that you mention it, he does identify as a switch. He knows that I don't have any switch in me, but I can see now how his being one might render the question mute. Thanks, LadyAlexa.

(in reply to LadyAlexa)

Post #: 12

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 7:30:44 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I have stuff. He has stuff. I don't really think about or care whether his stuff is used on others. He won't spend his time "playing" with someone who isn't disease and drug free, so there's no issue. I am not sentimental about the implements. I am sentimental about the man who uses them. Sometimes I look at the cuffs and grin, wondering what other poor wench was bound with them...

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 13

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 7:41:44 AM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

I have some toys of my own, including a singletail. As a bottom it's been my experience that most of the tops I play with prefer to use their own toys, particularly those used for percussion.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 14

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 7:43:59 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Part of it why a Dominant might want to use their own is unfamiliarity of another's toys. For most toys, this isn't an issue because they're all pretty much the same. One paddle is much like another and the subtle differences when they're not are easy compensated for. However, there are some toys that vary greatly...like singletails. Each one can have a "personality".

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 15

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 7:54:30 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

I have a question on how people feel about their toys. The last dom I played with was reluctant to tinker with my stuff (leather implements). My collection has expanded and now includes bondage paraphernalia. I was talking to new Dom last night and it went something like this:

Him: So, what do you like?

Me: I like leather cuffs.

Him: I have leather cuffs, and a blindford and gags.

That's cool and all. But I want to play with my stuff someday. I don't know why. Maybe because they don't have another submissive's cooties on them?

I gather that there is a feeling of power in possession, at least in male Doms (for example, always taking his car) that extends to toys. Am I right in this thought? I'm not talking about insertables and the like. Even if my thinking is correct, surely there is some appeal to be found in a submissive that comes fully equipped?

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

I have my own toys. I do clean them all and do so monthly, even when not in use. That said, when it comes to insertables, if the submissive does not feel comfortable with my toys, then she should have her own. Her not having her own toys and expecting me to just go out and buy all new toys is passivity on her part and I believe that, when it comes to pleasure, the submissive should be able to show me that they have taken on some responsibility for their own pleasure before I ever came along.

As for paddles and floggers and cuffs and clamps, etc....if the submissive has her own stuff when it comes to this, great. However, that does not mean that I will not use mine at some time in the interaction. Part of it is, like Lady Alexa said, a bit of feeling topped from the bottom in terms of controlling what stuff will be used and how.

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 16

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 7:58:08 AM

badpaliden

Posts: 96
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

LOL, like we were taught about horses.. Each one has its own saddle. So too should each sub/slave have there own set of cuffs and collar and anything else they have to sweat in or have body fluids come in contact with. Hep C and a few other things are REAL nasty and should be remembered when your thinking about slapping that peice of rubber or worse leather on some one.Transfer isnt just possable to the one wearing them but to any one contacting them with a scratch or tiny cut.

_____________________________

stolen from slavish..."My ESP's broken and it nullifies my mind-reading abilities. I could've gotten the extended warranty but it was three hundred bucks and it didn't seem worth it at the time."

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

Post #: 17

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 8:01:44 AM

griffn

Posts: 32
Joined: 1/3/2007
Status: offline

If said person has there own leather floggers I will opt to use them. Simply because leather is difficult to clean. If they don't have there own floggers I wont use my leather floggers unless we are fluid bonded. Although I will use my koosh flogger or a rubber one because they can be cleaned easily.Its not about the possession thing for me its about safety. Although I prefer to use my own stuff simply because its familiar

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 18

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 8:52:16 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

A related topic: Who pays for all thi?. Even if I agree that things like insertables need to be individualized, I don't have money to buy 5 different play partners stuff.

Side notes: Toys CAN be cleaned. Put condoms on your insertables and dissinfect them when you're done. Viruses usually don't survive for long outside the body.
The only way that HIV has been able to be kept alive for an extended amount of time was under very controled, very unrealistic conditions (reference: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/qa35.htm).

While HepA virus can survive for a long time outside the body, HepB survives less that two weeks and HepC survives no longer than 4 days. HepA is passed through fecal matter (so don't suck on the butt plug) and HepC is transmitted by blood (so wear latex). There's a vaccine for HepB. (reference: http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/diseases/hepatitis/common_faqs.htm). HIV is not found in sweat and only in small amounts in tears and saliva. Transmission by any of these has never been documented (reference:http://www.hivpositive.com/f-HIVyou/1-HIVyou/1-HIVtransmission.html).

HPV (not related to HIV) is the virus that causes warts of all kinds. When these warts are on sexual areas, it's considered an STI. There are many strains of the virus and some are the exception to the overall rule that viruses don't readily survive outside the body. Strains that cause plantar warts, for example, have been found to survive on floors. Some strains cause cancerous lesions. If these warts are on the cervic, they can cause cervical cancer; a vaccine has been developed for this strain. (reference:http://www.sexualityandu.com/parents/sti-1-1.aspx). Again, cover your insertables and dissinfect them when you're done.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 19

RE: Whose Toys? - 2/1/2007 9:34:31 AM

bearincuffs

Posts: 1904
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

There's a vaccine for HepB.
Master Fire

As a side note to this, there is also a vaccine for HepA . I believe this is also available in the US but not 100% sure. Here in Canada, Hep A vaccine has been available to the public for the past 2 years approx. And it's recommended for people who consider themselves in the high risk catagory.
It's a series of 2 injections with 6 months between the two. I go for mine next week. I am the only one who is responsible for my health and saftey. doing this I am taking full responsibility for my health and further reducing my risk of contracting a potential virus. It is my responsibility to keep myself safe and protected. And it's a great feeling knowing that each time I do a semi annual blood testing and all the results come back negative!

< Message edited by bearincuffs -- 2/1/2007 9:35:00 AM >

_____________________________

property of Master Dave of the House of Gemini

An it harm none, do as thou wilt
Do what you will, so long as it harms none
An it harm none, do what thou will
That it harm none, do as thou wilt
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 20

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