What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive?

What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (Full Version)

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TheKatsWhizkas -> What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 7:10:24 AM)
I have often wondered what single event or perhaps, series of events occure in a persons life that eventually turn them into either a Dominant or Submissive. I am sure there will be a diverse range of specific events that trigger such personality traits. Despite this there must be a number of eliments common to everyone that might be titled "mutually shared commonalities".

toservez -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 7:23:34 AM)
While I do believe there is part nature and part nurture in all of us and the percentage of which probably varies greatly, I do not have any earth shattering experiences that sent me down this path. I was simply born submissive raised in a culture that teaches it but still do not think at all that just made it a small step to this life at all. For me it was simply being introduced to the life by who become my first owners and taking to it like it was just meant to be. When this happen I knew for awhile I was drawn to aggressive and powerful people but did not know or think I was searching out something of this nature at all. It kind of just found me.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 7:32:48 AM)
Everyone has their story :) http://www.collarchat.com/m_575022/mpage_1/key_cyber%252Csex/tm.htm#575202 who taught you about bdsm? http://www.collarchat.com/m_615627/mpage_1/key_cyber%252Csex/tm.htm#615885 bdsm humble beginnings http://www.collarchat.com/m_693002/mpage_1/key_cyber%252Csex/tm.htm#693352 first time submissive feelings http://www.collarchat.com/m_744252/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#744266 Do you think you were "born this way"? http://www.collarchat.com/m_691960/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#691984 naturally Ds? http://www.collarchat.com/m_499963/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#499979 Nature or nurture? http://www.collarchat.com/m_307130/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#307130 Do you feel being a dom/me is innate or can be learned? http://www.collarchat.com/m_461558/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#461558 hard-wired, why why why! http://www.collarchat.com/m_143698/mpage_1/key_born%252Craised/tm.htm#143698 nature versus nurture http://www.collarchat.com/m_760860/mpage_2/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#761518 born to serve? http://www.collarchat.com/m_468650/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#468650 nature vs nurture http://www.collarchat.com/m_35901/mpage_1/key_learned%252Cborn/tm.htm#35901 born or learned, how we become dom?

Lashra -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 10:29:24 AM)
Personally I believe its just how you are wired with a bit of conditioning tossed in. I am dominant wired and though my Mother tried to turn me into a submissive person it just didn't take. We butted heads constantly and finally she realised she was wasting her time. Luckily Dad never tried to change me, he felt everyone needs to be true to their own nature, as do I. ~Lashra

LadyJulieAnn -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 11:16:46 AM)
I've had an interest in bondage, kidnapping, and control ever since childhood (movies, books, tying up dolls, etc.). I kept my interests hidden most of my life. I didn't really discover BDSM and D/s as a lifestyle until I was in my 30's and realized (through online interactions) that people had relationships based on those things. After some internal struggling and self-acceptance (and a change in vanilla relationship) I fell into my role as a Domme naturally and am now happily involved with a sub in a wonderful D/s relationship. Be well, Julie

uncllrdnfla -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 11:28:33 AM)
I have great memories of childhood, and a few older neighbor girls would sometimes tie me up with their jumprope in the back yard or back shed. Seemed to be alot of play in regards to that. I even remember the one pinning me down, and sitting on me in various ways. Another time an older girl did as much as she could with me, before someone came down her basement stairs. And so be it, from then on, I always remember being attracted to a strong, female presence, even in my vanilla relations, a bitchier, stronger type, as another might say. Then everything just fell into place on my own by discovering on my own, by reading, internet, etc....and my journey has continued, once being able to serve in my life, but onward i go!!!! thanks for the ability to share and rediscover my path....uncllrdnfla(scott)

mixielicous -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 12:18:29 PM)
i actually think my yearning to serve, came from my mother. my mother had one husband, and 6 kids, the first three being with the now ex-husband. my mother was a free spirit, to be tied down by no man, and yet utterly dependant on them [i remember after a fight with my littlest brothers father, she told me never be codependant, and never let myself become a mans scape goat] well, i didnt get to grow up with my mother she left my life at the tender age of 12 ... so this leaves a lot of things for me to figure out on my own. . . one being, GOD i am NEVER having kids w/o being married, and they absolutely are not growing up w/o church [i wasnt even baptized] so this leaves me with many years of pondering - why couldnt she cut it? and well i know now it had nothing really to do with her personally - her unwillingness to submit - in all truth [so i tell myself] but because of this, i long to serve the One who completes me. Submission is not something i experienced a lot in my relationships, but it is my humble opinion, that you have a much better chance at making it work if you accept natural order this is kind of scattered, my apologies

Caitriona -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 12:28:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra Personally I believe its just how you are wired with a bit of conditioning tossed in. I am dominant wired and though my Mother tried to turn me into a submissive person it just didn't take. We butted heads constantly and finally she realised she was wasting her time. Luckily Dad never tried to change me, he felt everyone needs to be true to their own nature, as do I. ~Lashra It's nice to see others have been down this road, Lashra. Although for me it was my mother trying to make me dominant when that is simply not who I am. While I admire that in her personality it's just not me.

agirl -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 12:37:21 PM)
I'm not submissive or dominant in any measurable way. I'm just a person who chose to be owned. Someone came along who had characteristics that I admired, made better decisions than I did and had the ability to get me to follow them. agirl

Wulfchyld -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 12:39:18 PM)
What a very interesting thread. I would consider responding, however, I think my tale would be too surreal for the community. Loki

xGoddessx -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 12:46:22 PM)
I can't say for sure, but I might have some idea. The way I grew up, I was always alone, never had discipline, never had a strong figure (male) in my life..even though these are things I always longed for. When I discovered submission, I knew that it fit me in a relationship. I need to know the one I am with will be there, be strong mentally, and protect me from some of the bad things in life (whenever possible). As much as I like to control the things in my life, is as much as I like to not have to worry about those things and just be free. In some ways I have all that I wanted, in other ways.. I don't. I don't think that makes it bad, not every relationship can give you everything you desire. What my Master lacks in giving me discipline..he gives me in letting me know I am loved and that I can depend on him. Maybe in the end, that was all I ever wanted anyway. Drea

LaTigresse -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 12:51:28 PM)
Mine is too long and weird of a story to write here. I guess it's just easiest to say that I have yet to meet a person I could or would submit to. After 44 years I can honestly say I don't expect to meet one in the future either.

agirl -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 1:02:38 PM)
Forget the community...that's a figment of something or other...... Spill. agirl

mixielicous -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 1:06:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xGoddessx The way I grew up, I was always alone, never had discipline, never had a strong figure (male) in my life..even though these are things I always longed for woah, its like you peeked into my life.

Wulfchyld -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 1:06:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Mine is too long and weird of a story to write here. I guess it's just easiest to say that I have yet to meet a person I could or would submit to. After 44 years I can honestly say I don't expect to meet one in the future either. raises an eyebrow oooh a challenge!

Wulfchyld -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 1:07:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl Forget the community...that's a figment of something or other...... Spill. agirl well it would be a very, very long story that would probably trudge up a lot of nasty stuff for a lot of people.

agirl -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 1:22:47 PM)
..remind me....what does the s in S& M stand for?........JOKE! Regards, agirl

Wulfchyld -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 1:28:35 PM)
Touché! I will mail it to you.

LaTigresse -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 1:31:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Mine is too long and weird of a story to write here. I guess it's just easiest to say that I have yet to meet a person I could or would submit to. After 44 years I can honestly say I don't expect to meet one in the future either. raises an eyebrow oooh a challenge! I believe I just heard an echo in Clint Eastwood's voice, as Dirty Harry.

Wulfchyld -> RE: What event or series of events leads one to become Dominant or Submissive? (2/1/2007 1:33:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse I believe I just heard an echo in Clint Eastwood's voice, as Dirty Harry. The "real" question is: Do you feel lucky?

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