hisannabelle
Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006 From: Tallahassee, FL, USA Status: offline
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i've gone through six years or so of active eating disorder not otherwise specified - mainly cycles of anorexic behavior and compulsive overeating behavior. it pretty much destroyed my metabolism, not to mention wreaking havoc on my health in other ways, my relationships, my ability to relate to people, and my desire to live at all. i'm doing a good deal better now than i was, say, a year or two ago when i sort of fell into recovery, but for me it is still a conscious choice every day not to engage. i don't think you ever really "recover," you just learn to cope with the urges not to eat, or the urges to do an extra hour or two on the elliptical, or the urges to throw up, or whatever. i can't imagine living without the voice that says you'd only feel so much better if.... i'm sure there are people who do, but i'm not there yet. it makes me sad that our society is bent on idealizing one to the exclusion of the other, or criticizing one to the exclusion of the other, because being too underweight and being too overweight can both be unhealthy, and eating disordered behaviors can be devastating at -any- weight (not to mention present at any and all weights). many of my friends are from eating disorder support groups, so i know many people who deal with very similar struggles.
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