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D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 1:52:53 AM   
shybutsweet


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I admit to being a total newbie who knows next to nothing. This may seem sorta silly, but one thing that I don't completely understand are the differences between D/s, S/m and s/M relationships. If you could shed a little light on this for me, it would be greatly appreciated.

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shybutsweet
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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 2:10:57 AM   
Tamerofwild1s


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well as much controversy has this subject has caused before let me help if I can D/s = Dom/sub and M/s - Master/slave . those two in themselves will get you a huge variety of answers from a varied amount of people .. the s/m thats sadism and masochism both are sexual gratifications .... ones giving the pain, thats sadism and the other is recieving the pain, thats masochism ..... I hope this sheds a little light on the subject

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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 3:50:05 AM   
twicehappy


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Please could you switch to a font color that is readable?

Like Wulchyld i feel like pressing the easy button (LA LA) for links and i am sure she will send you lots soon.
 
Tamer's answer is a good one. 
 
I'll start a war here and give you my own definitions though.
 
Top; one who controls the scene for play only.
 
Bottom; one who submits during the scene only
 
Sadist; one who enjoys inflicting pain
 
Masochist; one who enjoys receiving pain
 
Dom/Domme; the one who dominates, the one who is in control of, is responsible for, gives orders and direction to the sub/slave. This is something they are, a personality type, not just something they do only in the bedroom. A Dom/Domme is what they are whether or not they currently own a sub or slave. (note here; it really is dominant not  a dominate, dominant is what you are, dominate is what you do if you are a dominant)
 
Master/Mistress, is one who is dom/domme and currently owns a submissive or a slave. It is a title bestowed on them by virtue of such ownership.
 
Switch; one who can either top or bottom during play or a scene.
 
Submissive; one who yields power or control to the dominant on a limited basis both during day to day life and during scening or playing. Or one whose nature is submissive, one may be a submissive whether or not they currently are submitting to a dominant, it is what they naturally are.
 
Slave; one who yields control of all aspects of their existence to the dominant within the limits agreed upon prior to being collared (these are generally agreed upon moral limits, not to be confused with" I get it my way or I leave or Sam type behaviors). One who is considered to be owned by another as their sole property.
 
D/s is the relationship between a Dominant and a submissive.
 
M/s is the relationship between a Master or Mistress and a submissive or slave.
 
 
 
Disclaimer: the above is the author's personal opinion and is not the opinion or policy of her owner or of the little green men that follow her around all day all day.
 
This post may or may not cite its references or sources.
 
The facts expressed here belong to everybody, the opinions to me. The distinction is yours to draw...
 
IMPORTANT: This post is intended for the use of the individual to whom I was responding and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any whining, bitching or taking personally of this post is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social fauxpas.
 
No animals were harmed in the composition of this post, although Benji is authorized to hump your leg and piss on your carpet for taking the contents of afore mentioned post and either embracing it as personal or responding with any sentence containing the words " weal" or " twue" or any other Fuddism for that matter. 
(Mnottertail holding a written grant of exception to this rule).
 
My opinion is neither copyrighted nor trademarked; If you like, I'll trade for one of yours. 
 



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Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 3:55:36 AM   
RavenMuse


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Well if its gonna be a war sweetie.

*Lights up a cuban. Checks ammo and knocks off the safety and wanders over to stand 'just slightily' in front of 2X*

Bring em on. 'Cause whilst I could add to that in places, I don't disagree with a damn word


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 3:58:25 AM   
twicehappy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Well if its gonna be a war sweetie.

*Lights up a cuban. Checks ammo and knocks off the safety and wanders over to stand 'just slightily' in front of 2X*

Bring em on. 'Cause whilst I could add to that in places, I don't disagree with a damn word


Good morning sexy eyes, and thank you.
 
Edited to add, look everybody i have the two cuddliest teddy bears on cm right on top of and right underneath me. Snuggly........


Small note here, i finally got my cm mail acting right again yesterday. Every damn time i tried to reply to most of my mail for the past week i got that damn "page unavailable notice". So my apologies to your handsome self and any others i have not answered in a week.

< Message edited by twicehappy -- 2/6/2007 4:01:30 AM >


_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 4:02:34 AM   
Vendaval


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Hello shybutsweet and welcome to the Boards,
 
Twice Happy has great definitions there.  I also suggest that you
go to http://www.soj.org and http://www.tes.org 

And check out 3 Online stores for books,
The Sub Shop, The Stockroom and Greenery Press.
 
Good luck in your search,
 
Vendaval


 

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 5:52:42 AM   
RavenMuse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy
Edited to add, look everybody i have the two cuddliest teddy bears on cm right on top of and right underneath me. Snuggly........


Careful young lady, this 'teddybear' has TEETH and a penchant for sinking those teeth into shapely rears.... and your rear is most definatly shapely.... not to mention chompable!


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to twicehappy)
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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 7:08:23 AM   
twicehappy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy
Edited to add, look everybody i have the two cuddliest teddy bears on cm right on top of and right underneath me. Snuggly........


Careful young lady, this 'teddybear' has TEETH and a penchant for sinking those teeth into shapely rears.... and your rear is most definatly shapely.... not to mention chompable!


Sigh.....promises, promises..........

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 7:24:40 AM   
CreativeDominant


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I really do try to not be a "Me too" type of guy and succeed fairly often at it but in regards to twicehappy's post...I too would not argue with anything she's said.  Might add to it, as already noted, but certainly wouldn't argue with it.

Excellent post, twice...

(in reply to shybutsweet)
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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 7:25:00 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
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OMG the idea of being used as an easy button makes me REALLY hot.  Of course I haven't had an orgasm in two days either and that might add to it.

But still....

http://www.collarchat.com/m_605383/mpage_1/key_master%252Cdom/tm.htm#606932
Ms vs Ds

http://www.collarchat.com/m_794045/mpage_2/key_kinky/tm.htm#794460
Ds vs bdsm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_486719/mpage_1/key_master%252Cdom/tm.htm#486891
from dom to master

http://www.collarchat.com/m_271859/mpage_2/key_master%252Cdom/tm.htm#272880
dom or master

Master vs Dom

http://www.collarchat.com/m_629559/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#629565
What's the difference between a slave and a submissive?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_616573/mpage_1/key_bdsm/tm.htm#616591
Ds as bdsm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_586226/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#586267
Curious, sub v slave?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_515303/mpage_1/key_slave/tm.htm#515333
What is the difference?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_308296/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#309867
sub or slave?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_342405/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#342794
~slave vs sub~

http://www.collarchat.com/m_410567/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#410982
slave or sub

http://www.collarchat.com/m_497775/mpage_1/key_submissive%252Cslave/tm.htm#497977
I'm new to this but...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_366860/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#366893
Difference bet/submission and slave?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_365776/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#366767
slub question

http://www.collarchat.com/m_281198/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#281512
difference between slave and submissive

http://www.collarchat.com/m_251014/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#251062
definition of "slave"

What's the difference between slaves and submissives?

Submissive or slave?

Slaves versus submissive

Submissive or slave? (2)

Submissive vs slave (2)



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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 7:57:48 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
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From: Charleston, WV
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Another set of definitions:

Top/bottom = physical roles
Dom/sub = mental roles
Master/slave = spiritual roles

SM (or BDSM) = the activities that the above use in various forms...and they aren't dependant on roles, meaning Tops, Doms and Masters can be masochists and bottoms, subs and slaves can be sadists.

Lots of good defs here...use what works for you.

Master Fire


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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 8:13:26 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

OMG the idea of being used as an easy button makes me REALLY hot. 


LMAO......Loki did it first, but i think it works. Collarme's own easy button for info!

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 8:32:32 AM   
juliaoceania


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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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Here is the deal, many here and elsewhere do not like the term slave, or master, or lord of the universe. They prefer just to refer to what they have as D/s. It does not mean they are less submissive, less domly, have less of a power exchange, or in any way shape or form less of a commitment. Personally I do not like the term slave, historical connotations and all. I am submissive all the time, it is not a part time thing for me. As time goes on the power exchange is deeper and deeper, and one day I will be collared as a symbol of that commitment, and of his ownership.


Find the relationship that suits your needs because most everyone you will talk to has a different idea of what the labels mean.I would recommend that you ask dominants that are interested in you what they mean by their terms, and decide if that particular relationship would suit you.  My Daddy has said he has seen people who call themselves "slave" who were as about submissive as any dominant he had seen, and those who call themselves bottom who seemed more submissive than anyone else he had seen in the scene. He has seen vanilla women (vanilla meaning women that were not involved in BDSM at all) he thought of as extremely submissive too. I have seen more than one dom on this site and other sites claim that they needed their submissive to be a slave as opposed to being called a submissive, because they think the only way they can be a "master" is if they own a slave. So the label becomes more important than the relationship that it describes in many ways...



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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 9:00:55 AM   
Caitriona


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

OMG the idea of being used as an easy button makes me REALLY hot.  Of course I haven't had an orgasm in two days either and that might add to it.



You poor thing!


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Serving alongside ciarra

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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 9:13:21 AM   
LordVelvet


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LA only in a time of need will I offer to help

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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 9:20:52 AM   
Kondolinni


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Give it another 2 days and then it's -whoopie!  ...sub-space time!!!

shybutsweet got a nice welcome to the boards, and I am sure enough info here for another 20 questions.

She caught us on a good day.

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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 9:21:22 AM   
EvilGeoff


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Here is the deal, many here and elsewhere do not like the term slave, or master, or lord of the universe. 


Exqueeze me.... that's Supreme Maximum Dicator For Life Of the Entire Known Universe and Then Some, to you, missy!
:-)

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 9:30:40 AM   
juliaoceania


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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Here is the deal, many here and elsewhere do not like the term slave, or master, or lord of the universe. 


Exqueeze me.... that's Supreme Maximum Dicator For Life Of the Entire Known Universe and Then Some, to you, missy!
:-)


Well yeah, but in your case I make a special exception

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 9:33:02 AM   
KatyLied


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Hi slavejuliaoceania....

I couldn't resist, if you don't like it, give me a spanking!  


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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: D/s vs S/m vs s/M - 2/6/2007 9:35:39 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Hi slavejuliaoceania....

I couldn't resist, if you don't like it, give me a spanking!  



With the topping from the bottom threads that have been going around this post was quite appropriate.... even if I was the type that dispensed spankings, that remark would have earned you time out only girlie!

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KatyLied)
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