RE: This simply wont do! (Full Version)

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NorthernGent -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:14:16 AM)

Afternoon submissives, are you the "one":

I'm a recovering cannibal. I've been going to Cannibals Anonymous for 5 years and for the most part I've managed to stay on the wagon (I've eaten 3 humans and a goat in the last 5 years, I'm clean since April last year). The problem is, people who know me tend not to want to start a relationship with me. I've showed them my rehab certificates but they scoff (rubbish pun intended) at the idea of a romantic arrangement. Will you come to dinner with me, I promise I won't eat you. Failing that, can you put me in touch with people who appreciate a romantic meal for two in the locked house of a cannibal with only a knife and fork, an oven and a skewer for company.

Thanks in advance.

P.S. If you're under 5 feet 3 or over 5 feet 5, less than 9 stone 2 or more than 9 stone 5, anything but brunette, can't play the piano and have no grasp of Japanese then don't bother replying. Time wasters.



Lorelei115 -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:20:49 AM)

Dear cannibal-

How dare you use me in your wanking fantasies. I resent that. Plus, its obvious that you are not a true dominant since you didn't command me to "kneel, bitch!" in your first letter. If you send me 19.95 plus shipping and handling, I will read your next email.

Have a nice day!!!!!




domiguy -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:25:52 AM)

I have noticed that in the Discussion Forums on "Positive Experiences"...That the thread "Collared on the Winter Solstice" has been the last "positive" experience posted and that was on 1-04-07.

Is it be because people feel that there are no positive experience on this site?  Just speaking for myself...But I'm sure we "all" feel the same way....I consider it a positive experience if I meet someone and they have most of their teeth......Am I setting the bar to low?......Am I the only one who feels this way?

(Oh yeah. I almost forgot!....Later that evening when I'm hammering their ass..I consider it to be  a "positive" if they don't poop on me.)

Again, am I the only one who feels this way?

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.




NorthernGent -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:28:13 AM)

Dear potential "one":

In my dreams, I've devoured you 4 times.  I went as far as making soup out of your bones on 3 occasions. Thus, you no longer exist. Mods, get these charlatans out of here!



LadyEllen -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:28:50 AM)

I am Japanese delegate in Nigerian High Commission in Lagos, and would love to come for dinner.

But I have no money for air fare to UK, because of price of noodles here is so high. My salary is not large, but I try to make ends meet with piano recitals; could you send me to bank a few thousand pounds so I can visit you?

N A Gasaki



KeirasSecret -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:31:30 AM)

lol....<<<<<just luvs to feel the power. [:)]



domiguy -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:31:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Another Topic: If a tree falls in the forest and no one's around to hear it....are you still a dumbass?

Master Fire



Being that I usually try and catch the tree...the answer is a resounding ..YES!!!

Doesn't everyone feel the same way about this?

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.



BobTheMaster -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:33:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine

People with long hair are creepy
People that wear glasses are scary
People that wear skirts are perverts
People from England are nutty
People that live in a city next to a river are disgusting

People from england are nutty, its true - its the water, or the climate

It's a good thing I don't know anybody like that ;-D



wyldsubmissive -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:37:17 AM)

I want to pinch the cheeks (FACIAL) of everyone posting on this thread so cute!

So, if I tell a dominant that I want to bend them over and viciously sodomize their ass will they provide the lube?

-Wyld



LadyEllen -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:40:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wyldsubmissive

I want to pinch the cheeks (FACIAL) of everyone posting on this thread so cute!

So, if I tell a dominant that I want to bend them over and viciously sodomize their ass will they provide the lube?

-Wyld


if the lube is supplied, then it would be a viscous sodomizing, surely?

if there's no lube, then it would fall into the realm of vicious though.

E



NorthernGent -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:41:19 AM)

Dear Miss Gasaki,

Yes depending on answers to the following:

1) How does attracting partners by pretending not to be a cannibal fit in with Japanese BDSM etiquette.....consenting or non-consenting?

2) Has anyone tried to slow cook you? Do you go a nice pink colour right the way through or do you tend to burn around the edges?



KeirasSecret -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:43:23 AM)

quote:

I'm a recovering cannibal.


Oh my word! I have not dared to ask what happened to Sir's last sub since he told me he killed her. Maybe he has the same problem as you. Perhaps you know him?

Be well,



BobTheMaster -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:46:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I am Japanese delegate in Nigerian High Commission in Lagos, and would love to come for dinner.

But I have no money for air fare to UK, because of price of noodles here is so high. My salary is not large, but I try to make ends meet with piano recitals; could you send me to bank a few thousand pounds so I can visit you?

Hmm that sounds familiar ......

N A Gasaki



LadyEllen -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:48:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

Dear Miss Gasaki,

Yes depending on answers to the following:

1) How does attracting partners by pretending not to be a cannibal fit in with Japanese BDSM etiquette.....consenting or non-consenting?

2) Has anyone tried to slow cook you? Do you go a nice pink colour right the way through or do you tend to burn around the edges?


Hi

I love since long time cannibals. They make big noise at the Commission because are firing every holiday. What am BDSM etiquette please?

Yes, I have been slow cocked many times, but I do not change colour?

When you send to Western Union please?

Sue Zuki




KeirasSecret -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:49:38 AM)

quote:

So, if I tell a dominant that I want to bend them over and viciously sodomize their ass will they provide the lube?


Hey! I was told lube is not necessary. Do you think I was lied to?

Be well,



NorthernGent -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:52:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

but I do not change colour?



Mods! another charlatan who won't get "on her knees bitch" with her head in the oven. Can't you do something about these time wasters?!



LaTigresse -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:53:01 AM)

I just forgot what the hell I was going to type........fucking whoremoans



NorthernGent -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 8:58:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KeirasSecret

quote:

I'm a recovering cannibal.


Oh my word! I have not dared to ask what happened to Sir's last sub since he told me he killed her. Maybe he has the same problem as you. Perhaps you know him?

Be well,


I may have come across him at the New Hampshire cannibal convention last year. The problem with us cannibals is we only ever seem to meet once and consequently don't get to know each other.

On a brighter note, if he eats you, you can rest in peace in the knowledge you made the ultimate submissive act for your partner.



Lorelei115 -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 9:01:27 AM)

Dear cannibal-

It has come to my attention that all your mentoring was done online, and you are not using the proper mirepoix ratio of 2:2:1 in your soups. Also, you are quite possibly a flying spaghetti monster from outerspace who is posing as a human to lure in innocent young subs who cannot take care of themselves. Therefore, I'm busting your level back down to "sewer rat" and putting in an application to get you kicked out of the old guard.

So there. Neener neener neener.

Much love and adoration,
your pet.



NorthernGent -> RE: This simply wont do! (2/6/2007 9:07:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorelei115

Dear cannibal-

It has come to my attention that all your mentoring was done online, and you are not using the proper mirepoix ratio of 2:2:1 in your soups. Also, you are quite possibly a flying spaghetti monster from outerspace who is posing as a human to lure in innocent young subs who cannot take care of themselves. Therefore, I'm busting your level back down to "sewer rat" and putting in an application to get you kicked out of the old guard.

So there. Neener neener neener.

Much love and adoration,
your pet.


Dear Mods,

My pet is telling everyone I'm not in the Old Guard. Please help me [:(]

Cannibal6




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