RE: Healthy lifestyle

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Healthy lifestyle

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Healthy lifestyle

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Healthy lifestyle - 2/7/2007 2:35:12 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

The one thing I didn't do was start any conversations with men in my area. Primarily because all of them had zoomed in on me when they realized there was a new sub in this semi-rural area and I wasn't interested in any of them at all. The worst first emails imaginable came from the ones who didn't care about anything but a warm body that was close by. And some of them probably wouldn't care if the body was warm or not!

Shades of Deliverance?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Celeste43)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Healthy lifestyle - 2/7/2007 2:54:37 PM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

As long as you could squeeeaaaaaaal along to a toothless banjo player?

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: healthy lifestyle - 2/7/2007 3:38:49 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: babbebear

Is a first relationship in this lifestyle healthy if the Master will not allow socialization with others in the lifestyle, will not allow research or groups on the computer and when events are attended the slave is not allowed to participate or speak to another man.

Nothing was mentioned about speaking with other women at events or not being allowed to socialize with people outside of BDSM D/s. All I see here are very specific areas which are being made off-limits to the submissive and they all have to do with information regarding BDSM being made unavailable except when it comes from the dominant. I don't see anything wrong with that if two people are in a relationship and given the breadth of 'misinformation' in groups, on the web and the number of clueless dominants out there, I can't say I would blame a Master for taking this route in the beginning.

The main thing, though, is if the parties are comfortable, this is the sort of relationship they want, it's what makes them happy and allows them to thrive together, that's what matters and such can be very healthy and nurturing for the parties involved.

ymmv

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to babbebear)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: healthy lifestyle - 2/11/2007 2:31:05 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: babbebear

Is a first relationship in this lifestyle healthy if the Master will not allow socialization with others in the lifestyle, will not allow research or groups on the computer and when events are attended the slave is not allowed to participate or speak to another man.

I don't think it's healthy, but than again there are others who do condone (spelling) this.

(in reply to babbebear)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: healthy lifestyle - 2/11/2007 5:26:45 PM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

RavenMuse:
There are some here who try to justify the isolationist approach. Presonaly I think it is total bull, but they are entitled to their opinion.

WARNING, Rant Ahead.
Oh, are they? No disrespect meant towards you Raven as I find our philosophies tend to be very similar. I am SO tired of this modern concept that people have some god given right to believe whatever they want to. No matter how stupid. No matter how ignorant. No matter how wrong. They have a right to believe it.

They don't. A belief should be based on something. It should be able to be defended with facts, not emotions. People should not have the right to believe something just because they want to. It's wrong, and allowing this concept to stand has led society to the fractured, absolute minded, anarchy that now exists.

It is a way of life based on ignorance, half-truths, and out right lies. It scares me more than any other ill in the world today.

End Rant.
Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: healthy lifestyle - 2/11/2007 5:34:29 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: babbebear

Is a first relationship in this lifestyle healthy if the Master will not allow socialization with others in the lifestyle, will not allow research or groups on the computer and when events are attended the slave is not allowed to participate or speak to another man.

mmmmmm well.... It is a HUGGGGGGGEEEEE red flag.

I would be very very very very very very very concerned.. and suspicious.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to babbebear)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: healthy lifestyle - 2/11/2007 7:44:34 PM

obey1

Posts: 227
Joined: 11/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic

RavenMuse:
There are some here who try to justify the isolationist approach. Presonaly I think it is total bull, but they are entitled to their opinion.

WARNING, Rant Ahead.
Oh, are they? No disrespect meant towards you Raven as I find our philosophies tend to be very similar. I am SO tired of this modern concept that people have some god given right to believe whatever they want to. No matter how stupid. No matter how ignorant. No matter how wrong. They have a right to believe it.

They don't. A belief should be based on something. It should be able to be defended with facts, not emotions. People should not have the right to believe something just because they want to. It's wrong, and allowing this concept to stand has led society to the fractured, absolute minded, anarchy that now exists.

It is a way of life based on ignorance, half-truths, and out right lies. It scares me more than any other ill in the world today.

End Rant.
Sir Dominic

HERE HERE! (*stands and appaluds*) Damn! That one felt like the State of the Union! Way to say it SD!

(in reply to SirDominic)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: healthy lifestyle - 2/11/2007 7:54:32 PM

obey1

Posts: 227
Joined: 11/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: babbebear

Is a first relationship in this lifestyle healthy if the Master will not allow socialization with others in the lifestyle, will not allow research or groups on the computer and when events are attended the slave is not allowed to participate or speak to another man.

On a side note (let's forget the nasty term "isolation" for a while) there is not a whole lot of background here.

Is the OP an overly inquisitive type? It seems to me if this behavior was prohibited, and yet the OP is here, she is consciously defying him against his wishes. Maybe that is why the rules were set in the first place.....

(couple enters party, He releases her and she makes a beeline for another "knight")
What do you think? Huh?
Huh?
HUH?
What do you think? Huh? Should I obey him? Huh? Are you better? Huh? Will you spank me better? Huh? Do you know what he does to me? Huh? What would you do, huh?

< Message edited by obey1 -- 2/11/2007 8:00:55 PM >

(in reply to babbebear)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Healthy lifestyle - 2/11/2007 9:07:22 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

If you feel you must cross-reference your Master's methods and seek guidance beyond what he provides to placate your own instinctual concerns or fears, I would suggest you reconsider the trust and selfless devotion serving as a "slave" ideally entails. Perhaps you are not quite ready for that, and for what may be very good reasons. Entering into such an arrangement should be carried out with considerable motive, caution and mental intercourse. I'm aware many people have different ideas about what a slave is, but in my world, that is not an appointment to be taken lightly at all.

I would say that suggesting that every dominant knows exactly what is best all the time is foolish. My dominant freely admits that I know more about this "lifestyle" then him. I have more experience and I have a stronger desire just to know and interact with others in this lifestyle then he does.

Exactly what "misinformation" are you worried about? My dominant knows that I make a comparsion between our relationship and another one then I probably have a damn good point and have put considerable thought into it. Because of my interaction with others whose lifestyle we didn't identify with at first, misinformation if you will, I have gained knowledge that, by sharing with him, has granted us a better understanding of our own dynamic.

I do, am encouraged to, and encourage others to cross-reference methods. This isn't a game of cards we are playing. Both physical and mental trama can be inflicted. Isolation has always been a red flag for abuse. Tacking "Master" onto your name doesn't magically change that fact.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to amayos)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Healthy lifestyle - 2/11/2007 9:42:48 PM

obey1

Posts: 227
Joined: 11/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
My dominant knows that I make a comparsion between our relationship and another one then I probably have a damn good point and have put considerable thought into it.

Yes, that was my point. It vaguely appears quite the opposite from the OP. She might? listen to him?

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Healthy lifestyle - 2/12/2007 11:37:14 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: obey1

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
My dominant knows that I make a comparsion between our relationship and another one then I probably have a damn good point and have put considerable thought into it.

Yes, that was my point. It vaguely appears quite the opposite from the OP. She might? listen to him?

Right now all I'm noticing is that I left out a word... I meant "when I make a comparsion..."

*hums innocently and slinks away*

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to obey1)

Profile

Post #: 31