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how do you know if your master is for real - 3/9/2005 12:40:47 PM   
largoflslave3377


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		i will try to put it respective way
Here are somethings i am starting to think really hard about
1.He wants more pics nude and clothed
2.chatting online when he feels like it
3.always asking me if i know of anyone else who needs a Dom/Master
4.saying he will call me but never does
i am new to this lifestyle and just want to learn more and i am as reading threw some older posts.i knew i was a sub/slave when i was younger and now i want to learn more.if i say something please correct me please i am really eager to learn from others as well as reading.
Robin
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/9/2005 12:49:44 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		And you need to post this question why?

So what if he's a dom? Doms are dorks and dumbasses just like everyone else. This guy obviously doesn't know how to begin a good relationship. So why are you even worried?

Really it's only number 4 which is the clear indicator. The others are possible yellow lights, but lots of good doms do them too.

BDSM healthy relationships need the same things that vanilla healthy relationships do.

(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/9/2005 12:56:12 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
This person sounds like a player to me. The trying to use you to find more subs and the never calling are the red flags for me. Wanting more clothed photos of you is sweet. Wanting more nude photos of you is just being male. The chatting online when he feels like it .. um.. well, if I'd not already judged this guy a player, I'd say.. yeah? so? He's the Dom.

Since you're so new, even if you do decide to stay with this person, I suggest you join the local munch group. http://www.mastersquest.com/ You'll learn a lot more from observing how other couple interact over time than we could ever share with you on here.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/9/2005 1:05:49 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		In my opinion I would classify him as married and cheating.

Wants more pics to masturbate to.

Chatting when he feels like it, what you really are saying is when the wife is not in the room.

Always trolling for more subs. Why? Is the one cyber sub he has not enough?
Saying he will call but never does. The wife barging into the room without notice? So he never knows just how long of a time frame he will have to jack off on the phone?



Don't worry about being new to the lifestyle. Go with your gut. If your gut sends you warning signs then follow them. If it doesn't, what is the worst that can happen? You make a mistake and learn from it.

Just don't meet anybody without staying safe yourself. In person. Use a safe call. Meet at a munch if you can. A very public place..and never leave with anyone no matter how long you've been talking to them online.

More questions, just ask.


(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/9/2005 2:09:07 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		How can you tell if he is for real? Well...when are you meeting him?

I am not one who believes you CANNOT have a relationship online, but I think that can only happen if that's what BOTH parties want.

If you want more, tell him you're ready to meet him. Do you get excuses? Are you put off? Tell him you don't think that you're compatable, thank him, and move on.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/9/2005 2:43:02 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		When i get mails from somone not interested in me, just interested in me telling aboute my darkest as they often put it fantasies, that sound the alarm bells for me. If we get to know one another there be plenty of time for that later.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/9/2005 3:22:49 PM   
largoflslave3377


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		thanks EmeraldSlave2 your input was correct
thanks beachmystress yes i am finding out more on him yes he is a player so i finally said bye to him.i am also reading older post on everything as well.
thanks sub4hire you have answered all of questions yes i am doing a munch and safe calls with safe words to 8 people they all live near me.so i will be safe i am really learning more on the red-yellow-green light - safe calls and safe words.
thanks all
largoflslave3377

(in reply to nella)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/9/2005 4:55:18 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		Just going to echo what everyone else said. The person you are involved with apparently is only interested in a cyber relationship. One of the red flags are naked photos. Why would someone want to see you naked, when you've never even held hands or kissed? This is a major pitfall in online relationships (amongst many.)

If you are looking for a real life relationship, then treat the relationship that way from the start. Don't do anything online that you wouldn't want to do in real time. Don't pretend that cyber dates are as good as real ones, and mean the same thing - they don't. If you are looking to meet someone from long distance, then be smart and keep the relationship 'innocent' with an expectation of friends only, until AFTER you have met in real time and given the relationship the chance it needs to grow - in real time.

Don't make the words 'I love you' cheap by using them on a person you have never touched. Let them have the value they deserve, by saving them for a man you feel it for, in real time.

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/9/2005 8:56:12 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: largoflslave3377
1.He wants more pics nude and clothed
2.chatting online when he feels like it
3.always asking me if i know of anyone else who needs a Dom/Master
4.saying he will call me but never does
i am new to this lifestyle and just want to learn more and i am as reading

Dear Robin,
He sounds like a real A**, not a real anything you should allow yourself to get involved with/suckered into.
He's inconsistent, inconsiderate, and probably married wanting more pics to jerk off to. So, keep looking, and lose him. M


_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/10/2005 8:46:54 AM   
largoflslave3377


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		hi all
good news i lost him know i am really looking for a master/dom else where.i am still learning more on how to weed out the hng's to the real dom/master
thank you all for the inputs they are all very true
Robin

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/10/2005 9:26:24 AM   
MsSilvie


Posts: 248
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline 		I guess it depends on your defination of "for real". If that means he wants naked pixs of you to wank off to before he turns off the computer and crawls into bed with his wife where he can dream about all his other online slaves that he's sure to find? Sure, he's for real!

I would suggest the "naked pic" rule of weeding out dimminants.... any time someone asks for a pic of you naked, their chances of being real drop by about 90%. So after 3 such requests, you are 99.99% sure that you can say good-bye to this cheesehead without any loss.


(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/10/2005 3:22:11 PM   
softysub


Posts: 101
Joined: 10/20/2004
Status: offline 		I had this happened to me alot and trust me, by what you wrote, he is a fake and hiding something.

Runnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

softysub

(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/10/2005 4:01:23 PM   
lacyann


Posts: 45
Joined: 11/30/2004
Status: offline 		this girl feels blessed to have recently committed to training with a Sir and his Mistress wife. Very quickly this girl felt protected, treasured, cherished, an important part of the picture. this girl has heard from too many Wanna Bee's who were more interested in screw and abuse and not develop a relationship. even though this girl understands and Sir and Mistress understand that this relationship will end, so that this girl may find a long term relationship W/we also know where each of us stand in the the current situation.
this girl's gut told her almost immediately that this was a good place for a newbe to start. and she is blessed to be here and to have found such willing Trainer/ Mentors.

lacyann

(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/10/2005 4:02:45 PM   
largoflslave3377


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		i am new the lifestyle relized i was one since i was young with the help of others on the board.i have learned how to ask certain questions to be sure they are not just hng's thanks for all the information i am taking it to heart and noteing it down.
Robin

(in reply to softysub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/15/2005 10:08:58 PM   
cynthiamarie


Posts: 205
Joined: 3/11/2005
From: Bluefield, WV, USA
Status: offline
quote:

i have learned how to ask certain questions

Do you mind sharing? What questions?

i've bookmarked the munches link, but the safe calls and safe words i'm unsure of. When do you place the calls? To new friends at munches? There's no way i'm telling any family nor any of my vanilla friends about this, LOL.

quote:

Very quickly this girl felt protected, treasured, cherished, an important part of the picture.

Wow. i've never felt "protected, treasured, cherished, etc.," in my entire life...color me pea green with envy! Very happy for you!

(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/15/2005 10:44:09 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

've bookmarked the munches link, but the safe calls and safe words i'm unsure of.


You might want to look at this thread - BDSM Safety Proceedures. It has some nice links and some good advice.

(in reply to cynthiamarie)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/16/2005 12:41:28 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: largoflslave3377
how to weed out the hng's to the real dom/master
Robin

Hey Robin,
How to weed through the fakes?
There's no real recipe (as far as I know) outside of your instinct, your paying attention to how consistent he is about following through on his word, showing behaviors that are consistent with his words, and willingness to meet.
Also people with a lot of experience suggest that going out to munches and meeting people face to face cuts down significantly on the number of lying/misrepresentation. Good luck, M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 17
i need a mistress - 3/16/2005 12:54:32 AM   
sparrowjagua


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/16/2005
Status: offline 		hello

this my yahoo id [email protected] and let chat

ok thank you

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/16/2005 1:02:13 AM   
sparrowjagua


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

hello

this my yahoo id [email protected] and let chat

ok thank you

(in reply to softysub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/16/2005 11:58:36 AM   
Mowas


Posts: 10
Joined: 3/1/2005
Status: offline 		The person that you are discribing doesn't sound anything like a true Dom. It sounds like he's a player and takeing advamtage of your submissive nature. And I would be quite cautious about givving him more pics.
A sub should be able to trust the relationship and her Dom. Not be in a position where she has to question his loyalty and motives.

(in reply to sparrowjagua)
Profile   Post #: 20
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