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RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/16/2005 3:50:26 PM

stormsfate

Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

I'm sorry...am I missing something here? If you do not know if this gentleman is the real deal, what were you thinking in offering yourself to him in the first place?

I've said it before, and I'm sure I will say it many times over again, but animals in the wild often choose their mates more carefully than humans do. Did you watch to see how he interacts with others? Does he pay his bills on time? Does he change jobs every other week or has he been in the same one for the last 20 years? Does he consistently use good judgment in his decision making? Is he responsible for his own actions, or does he consistently place the blame on others? Is he responsible? How does he interact with others in his life? In short, even if none of the above are characteristics that are important to you...does he exhibit characteristics that *are* important to you?

That being said, if its an online only relationship and if you/he plan to keep it that way, it doesn't really matter much what he is.

best regards,
fate

_____________________________

Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size

(in reply to Mowas)

Post #: 21

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/18/2005 9:25:50 AM

terah

Posts: 69
Joined: 12/17/2004
Status: offline

If all he wants are photo and is asing for other women then he is just a player who's just looking to jack off. He's probably egotistical and has low self esteem because he knows he can't get women on his own so he uses another woman to lure them in.

If he has no time other then for kinky conversation then what is the point of wasting your time with him. A master nutures, leads and enhances. Ask yourself has he done any of those things for you. Submission although is about serving a dominant it is not one sided where you get nothing out of it but questions.

If all he wants is a toy have him pay for your time so you can buy a pretty corset for the next dom you meet who will value you as a whole person not as a botty call.

(in reply to largoflslave3377)

Post #: 22

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/18/2005 10:49:57 AM

Lesley

Posts: 13
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

I really enjoy these message boards.
I have been chatting with another sub recently and we both agreed that some of the prospective Masters or Dom's we've met wanted bikini / naked pics,inquired if we had cams and if we'd meet them for a weekend tryst.When you refuse to meet them,they have the nerve to "try" and cut you down...it's unbelievable. Some are married and the spouse doesn't know he's sneaking around. The saddest thing is they claim to be to honest and genuine.

"Where are the real men?"

(in reply to Mowas)

Post #: 23

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/18/2005 1:54:30 PM

MistressMiss

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Wow. i've never felt "protected, treasured, cherished, etc.," in my entire life...color me pea green with envy!

One day you will, keep searching

_____________________________

Miss

Opinions are like assholes, everybody has them and most of them stink
Life goes on you can bury your head in the sand or face it head on

(in reply to cynthiamarie)

Post #: 24

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 3/21/2005 7:35:45 PM

largoflslave3377

Posts: 15
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

thanks everyone i am going to my first club meeting on the second which i do have contact with a few subs/Doms their.i am very excited about this i am so sorry for not responding sooner i am finding more information here and doing a list.
largoflslave3377

(in reply to MistressMiss)

Post #: 25

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 5/1/2005 2:03:30 PM

BruceVain

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline

I think a good master has to open as well as controlling, and always open to a slaves needs who is willing to learn. Trust is a big issue, and I always aim to please in that department. Intrigued by your memo. Hope to hear you respond soon.

~Bruce~

(in reply to largoflslave3377)

Post #: 26

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 5/1/2005 4:56:57 PM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

In the end, you don't. Why are you asking here? The guy seems like a slug, but he is not here to defend himself. If you can talk to him, cool. If not, why in your right mind are you considering letting a guy you don't feel comfortable with tie you up?

C'mon if you don't feel secure enough to talk to him about this, how can you feel secure enough to let him tie you up?

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to largoflslave3377)

Post #: 27

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 5/3/2005 11:08:21 AM

DrkAngl

Posts: 145
Joined: 4/9/2005
Status: offline

He sounds like someone whom merely "plays" at it online and not really into the lifestyle. Most vanillas, and he is sounding vanilla, have the usual view that BDSM is all about getting their way all the time, being damanding and restraining beautiful women like in the movies, but that's not what it's all about.

A "Real" Master actually gives a damn about his sub/slave, at least in my opinion. If they do not...well..that's someone I wouldn't care to stick around. Just my five cents worth here. :)

< Message edited by DrkAngl -- 5/3/2005 11:23:29 AM >

(in reply to Mowas)

Post #: 28

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 5/3/2005 12:33:07 PM

largoflslave3377

Posts: 15
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

Hi Everyone
update I droped thi issue with the fake,i did meet a Dom well i thought he was you really dont know a person is for real or not.until u meet the person we chatted for 3 wks before meeting then a few days on the phone then we met.well i learned that he was also a fake after getting hurt.now i am being more safer i have a friend sitting across the restraunt watching for any signs and i wait 30 mins after the person leaves before i attemt to leave from where we meet.during the meeting i make a safe call to let them know i am fine anymore advise to meeting someone please advise me
robin

(in reply to DrkAngl)

Post #: 29

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 5/4/2005 6:27:53 AM

tasteofhunney

Posts: 11
Joined: 4/21/2005
Status: offline

i have been in the lifestyle for over 3 years and i am a collared sub.....if the person is for real He wouldn't ask for nude pics online and not call you when He says He will..get to know the person first and then go from there..a real Master would not ask that right away at least mine didn't...if He asks you if you know of any other subs looking for Masters thats a clue.
Also who someone calls themself a Master let them prove it to you before you give your heart and soul..go with your heart..if your asking questions then thats a red flag right there.
i hope this has helped you.

(in reply to largoflslave3377)

Post #: 30

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 5/4/2005 12:59:27 PM

rickskajira

Posts: 5
Joined: 4/27/2005
Status: offline

Well let's just say this... have you ever met him? How can he be your master if not? Also it sounds like this guy just wants to cyber and could be anyone. How do you know if your Master is for real? Well I know because he is honest with me and cares. Most masters feel that way. Most care about their slaves as mine does me. I would suggest that if you don't trust him (which it is obvious you don't) then find someone you can trust. Most men love to dom from what I've learned, they're just afraid of admitting it to you for fear they will lose what they have.

(in reply to largoflslave3377)

Post #: 31

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 5/28/2005 2:25:58 PM

masterdarkthorn

Posts: 13
Joined: 5/22/2005
Status: offline

The funny thing is is one can never really be sure so trust your instincs and if it don,t feel right it most likely isn't. When one first comes into the life style it is easy to be taken in but the more Masters one meets in real the easy the difference is to see between the fakes and players. Hope this helps.

(in reply to Mowas)

Post #: 32

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 5/28/2005 3:10:52 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

THE WAY YOU CAN TELL WEATHER YOUR MASTER IS REAL IS YOU GET HIM TO STAND IN FORNT OF A MIRRER IF YOU CAN SEE HIS RELEFCTION HES REAL IF NOT HES A VAPMIRE.

(in reply to masterdarkthorn)

Post #: 33

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 5/29/2005 11:07:26 AM

MstrArcain

Posts: 6
Joined: 12/11/2004
Status: offline

I'd hardly say "pics" are a sign of him not being real. I like pics I really want to see what I maybe getting into. I suppose needing more and more pics could be a sign.

If he wont call then in my opinion you are definetly wasting your time!

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 34

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 5/29/2005 2:23:43 PM

MzBerlin

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

largoflslave-
I think the best way to avoid 'fake' Doms is to meet them in RL. Is there a munch or dungeon in your area? BeachMystress is usually really good at finding kinky resources. Perhaps she will post them.
I've found that if you meet people in RL there is less chance of meeting a 'fake' or 'player' due the the availability of references. Also, if someone is out and about they are less likely to be lying. (In my experience.)
Keep us posted!!
B

_____________________________

new pictures!! www.ropexpert.com
also- you can catch me on www.ksexradio.com every tuesday. I co-host Baadmasters' Dungeon!!

(in reply to largoflslave3377)

Post #: 35

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 6/29/2005 11:03:14 AM

magiqnapa

Posts: 31
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

I agree with Gloria. Don't give him anymore (especially nude) pics....It will just give him something to worship or do worse to....it does sound like he is not for real. Although I slightly knew who he was before, having seen him at various Fetish events where I live, I talked to my new Master two or three times online (always very long conversations where my hand would be cramping from typing), once on the phone (he just called to hear what my voice sounded like, and we talked for an hour), and the next day we met in person and talked for a long time at the Dairy Queen. And now we are in training (he calls me his pet....I just fly when he says that....*sigh). But, I know that most people don't move this fast....I just knew it was meant to be and I guess we are both really lucky. I haven't been happier.....Keep looking. You'll find what you desire and someone who desires you and you will know it is right.

(in reply to largoflslave3377)

Post #: 36

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 6/29/2005 4:41:28 PM

mossy

Posts: 189
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline

~~~do just what you did largoflslave~ and talk to others about what you think and feel...when a "dom/master" tries to stop that from happening? you have to ask yourself why? don't stop questioning, looking at motives are important too. his & yours.
we can get so hung up sometimes with protocol, levels of experience, length of time in,
that we can overlook a persons motives. sometimes even our own. one lesson i truly wished i did not have to learn the hard waywas this, "total devotion" does not mean giving away your intuition, your self-esteem, your gut feelings, to your "master/dom". If this is what he seeks? i strongly suggest finding someone with a lot of experience in the Lifestyle to speak with, possibly even a therapist/Lifestyle empathetic. By the way....it may sound so simple,,,but does the other D/s person in your life DO the same things they SAY?
Devotion,,, strong desire to please, to obey, do chores, remember everything, sometimes leaves a submissive with little time to think, or SEE,,,,does this Person who has Control over my Life, that i offer 100% devotion to? Are they going ahead with OUR plan for this Lifestyle? Or are they constantly changing things around. What they promised or said they would DO,,,,is it happening? Or Not! Eyes Wide Open,,,would be my best thought to offer here.

This is a wonderful Life ,,,,enjoy, be well, and safe .... smiles and warmth

[image][/image][center][/center][right][/right]

quote:

< Message edited by mossy -- 6/29/2005 4:46:22 PM >

(in reply to stormsfate)

Post #: 37

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 6/29/2005 8:32:10 PM

litaandpeter

Posts: 2
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

We have spoken many times of submission and what it takes to be a
submissive but have you ever thought about what it takes to be a
Master?

My beautiful Master is described below.......................

A man who diplays sensitivity will be a Master who is sensitive to you.

A man who displays humility will be a Master who will show you respect.

A man who is not afraid to cry will be a Master who understands your tears.

A man who is quiet will be a Master who will hear your quietest whisper.

A man who will listen to a child will be a Master who will always
work to understand your words.

A man who can stand alone will be a Master who will not crush you
under His weight.

A man who does not have to prove His point will be a Master with many
worth while points to share.

A man who never makes demands will be a Master who treasures anything
you give.

A man who doesn`t run after you will be a Master you will never need
to run from.

A man who is calm will be a Master who can weather your storms.

A man who has walked the path to peace will be a Master able to guide
you along that path.

A man who does not shout will be a Master who will never deafen you.

A man with an open mind will be a Master who never stops learning.

A man who never stops learning will be a Master who never stops growing.

A man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only
man truly worthy of being called MASTER

quote:

ORIGINAL: largoflslave3377

i will try to put it respective way
Here are somethings i am starting to think really hard about
1.He wants more pics nude and clothed
2.chatting online when he feels like it
3.always asking me if i know of anyone else who needs a Dom/Master
4.saying he will call me but never does
i am new to this lifestyle and just want to learn more and i am as reading threw some older posts.i knew i was a sub/slave when i was younger and now i want to learn more.if i say something please correct me please i am really eager to learn from others as well as reading.
Robin

(in reply to largoflslave3377)

Post #: 38

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 6/29/2005 8:35:38 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

how do you know if your master is for real

Ask to see his Dom Union Card. Also ask if he has the Complete Unabridged BDSM Guide For Domly Dom's.

It seems as if you have taken others advice. Keep looking and good luck with your search!

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to largoflslave3377)

Post #: 39

RE: how do you know if your master is for real - 6/30/2005 1:41:30 AM

MariaCaliban

Posts: 8
Joined: 6/30/2005
Status: offline

Dominance and submissiveness are both sexual traits independent of kindness, consideration, responsibility, and honesty. You'll never enter his mind so you can never *know* if he is what he claims. However, that doesn't matter; he might be a 'real dom' but not right for you.

_____________________________

The best lack all convictions, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

(in reply to largoflslave3377)

Post #: 40

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