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Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s without sex - 3/9/2005 6:08:36 PM

Jasmyn

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True or false?

Not My own words but something I saw as a signature on the boards and found it an intriguing quote.

No offence to the author of it.

So My question is does D/s always have to be about sex?

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/9/2005 6:34:19 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn
So My question is does D/s always have to be about sex?

Well, I think we need some definition of terms before we can really discuss this.

What do you mean by "sex"? Oral, anal and genital sex? Anything else?

For me, BDSM is always sexual, though rarely involves oral, anal, and/or genital sex.

Taggard

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/9/2005 6:46:45 PM

FangsNfeet

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When it comes to sex, well vannilla just dosen't cut it. I want kinky S&M all the way with me tieing one up and being my naughty self with whips, chains, floggers, belts, knives, wax, feathers, wires, ice, and so on.

Now when it comes to a D/s relationship. Well let's define the relationship. After all, I don't mind spanking, flogging, and cutting on anyone. But sex is not needed for it to be fun nor enjoyable for me. I also like giving massages. But that dosen't mean that I don't want every massage I give to lead to a intimate/sexual relationship nor a one nighter. The same goes for sessions. I'll scene with just about anyone but the sex and the relationship is researved for only my pet.

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/9/2005 6:52:34 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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I have learned that I can enjoy vanilla sex very very much.

I have learned that I can serve and be submissive without an attachment to sex.

However, I am a very sexual person, am excellent at providing sexual service and have no problems being spoiled sexually, and thoroughly enjoy sex in all of my intimate relationships, vanilla, Ds or with the Owner.

Take what works for you.

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/9/2005 6:55:40 PM

Harrison

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Jasmyn....

This question is kinda like "does there always have to be red colors in the changing leaves to make you think its fall?"

Here is the obvious.

Is BDSM always about sex....?

No.

Is BDSM never about sex....?

No.

Is BDSM often about sex....?

Yes.

Next question.....I'll take retorical for 200.

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/9/2005 7:11:56 PM

GrandpaLash

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Seeing as how it's my tagline we're discussing, I'd better respond LOL, but it will have to be later when I can justify speding more time away from my research.

But, no offence taken Jasmyn.

Grandpa Lash

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/9/2005 8:31:46 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn
True or false?
So My question is does D/s always have to be about sex?

My view is that while D/s is not always about sex, if I'm in a D/s relationship, there's always going to be sex (in some form). That however is my current position; if at some point I decide to have more than 1 sub/servant (get greedy because of good odds), than there may be D/s without sex. M

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/10/2005 12:05:27 AM

domtimothy46176

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For us, D/s is about service. That service can be sexual or not. The reward for good service might be sexual release but might also be no more than a "good girl". Sex is nice and kinky sex is nicer yet and there is no substitute for kinky sex with a girl who has utterly surrendered her body and, arguably, soul for my pleasure. In the final analysis, however, I respect service, not sex.
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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/10/2005 12:20:19 AM

perverseangelic

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Disagreed 100% for me.

I like sex sans bdsm and bdsm sans sex. I prefer sex with bdsm, but I can take bdsm without sex. ~shrug~

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/10/2005 4:01:43 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
we need some definition of terms before we can really discuss this.

What do you mean by "sex"? Oral, anal and genital sex? Anything else?

Tag, not only do we have to define sex, we also have to define D/s. D/s is not an act, it's a dynamic. D/s isn't whipping and ropes and the like. Those are S&M and bondage. D/s is a dynamic that is present to a certain degree (to be determined by the parties involved) when we get into S&M and bondage. Might I also add that S&M and bondage or any other kinky activity doesn't need to be present for D/s to occur.

And it gets more complicated then that.

D/s without sex

Domination/submission is about power exchange, pure and simple. Sex is a form of power. In any form of domination outside of the act of having sex, sex is involved on some level. Symbols of male power are often phallic; women often use their charm (mixed in with their brains of course!) to gain an upper hand; dogs zing each other with boners in a park as a sign of domination; and the list goes on.

Even when there is no sexual act (oral, anal, vaginal, masturbation, etc) involved, there is always some kind of a sexual tension. We would not dominate someone or submit to someone if we didn’t get off on it on some level.

Sex without D/s

What is sex without D/s. The sexual act itself is about power dynamics. Even vanilla sex has a soupçon of power exchange in it. Seduction itself is pure power exchange.

I recently had a sexual exchange with someone I have gotten very close with that in “technique” was pure vanilla. But what I realised afterwards was that the underlying dynamics were so incredibly powerful, on some level, D/s was just as strong as ever.

Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s without sex

It isn’t true. It isn’t false. It definitely lacks precision, and is therefore inaccurate.

Simply put, it is an overly simplistic remark.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 3/10/2005 4:02:53 AM >

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/10/2005 4:39:16 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
Domination/submission is about power exchange, pure and simple.

Actually to me it's about authority transfer. :)

quote:

Symbols of male power are often phallic; women often use their charm (mixed in with their brains of course!) to gain an upper hand; dogs zing each other with boners in a park as a sign of domination; and the list goes on.

I consider being "dominant" very different from being "a dominant" or "a dominant in a relationship." I have a very dominant personality, but I don't consider myself a dominant and I'm certainly not prepared to have a relationship as a dominant with a submissive.

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/10/2005 5:33:31 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
Domination/submission is about power exchange, pure and simple.

Actually to me it's about authority transfer. :)

You say tomato. I say tomato.

- LA

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/10/2005 5:47:44 AM

ProtagonistLily

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quote:

Well, I think we need some definition of terms before we can really discuss this.
<SNIP>
Taggard

Um, for the love of god, no we don't.

L

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/10/2005 5:52:43 AM

darkinshadows

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false

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/10/2005 5:57:25 AM

darkinshadows

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quote:

For me, BDSM is always sexual, though rarely involves oral, anal, and/or genital sex.

Taggard

I do believe that the question was about D/s, not BDSM. I find it interesting that some people view both a means to an end. For myself, although D/s is held within the BDSM context, and indeed, that BDSM can be used within D/s... that essentially, they are seperate entities.
That BDSM is a tree, and D/s is a branch.

Just my thoughts.

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/10/2005 5:58:43 AM

nella

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In my opinion D/s is often sexual in nature, but do not have to be. You can have a D7s relationship between two pepole that never see one another naked.

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/10/2005 5:58:53 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
You say tomato. I say tomato.

- LA

I think they are actually quite different in terms of the connotations implied.

BUT, since I understand what you mean and you understand what I mean, we don't have to worry about it.

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/10/2005 8:20:43 AM

LadyTantalize

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No!

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/10/2005 8:30:01 AM

slavedesires

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

quote:

To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place.
Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005

Jasmyn,
Speaking of someone's signature, may i request that you explain yours.
i see several different points to it. May i ask what you would like us to understand when we read it?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

D/s is not an act, it's a dynamic. D/s isn't whipping and ropes and the like. Those are S&M and bondage. D/s is a dynamic that is present to a certain degree (to be determined by the parties involved) when we get into S&M and bondage. Might I also add that S&M and bondage or any other kinky activity doesn't need to be present for D/s to occur.

Domination/submission is about power exchange, pure and simple. Sex is a form of power. In any form of domination outside of the act of having sex, sex is involved on some level. Symbols of male power are often phallic; women often use their charm (mixed in with their brains of course!) to gain an upper hand; dogs zing each other with boners in a park as a sign of domination; and the list goes on.

Even when there is no sexual act (oral, anal, vaginal, masturbation, etc) involved, there is always some kind of a sexual tension. We would not dominate someone or submit to someone if we didn’t get off on it on some level.

What is sex without D/s. The sexual act itself is about power dynamics. Even vanilla sex has a soupçon of power exchange in it. Seduction itself is pure power exchange.

- LA

and to this LadyAngelika, i concur wholeheartedly as a submissive and Master's slave.

shy

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RE: Sex without D/s is about as pointless as D/s withou... - 3/10/2005 8:35:59 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dark~angel
I do believe that the question was about D/s, not BDSM.

Yeah...I'm not very good at that stick to the original question thing, am I?

I use BDSM to describe the stuff I do because I get tired of people saying what I do isn't D/s. When I say I do BDSM, there is no argument.

quote:

That BDSM is a tree, and D/s is a branch.

Yep...except the monkeys who swing on the D/s branch throw their feces when riled...so I just hang out with the squirrels on the trunk. *wink*

Taggard

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