question about play parties from a novice (Full Version)

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upsurd1 -> question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 12:07:27 AM)

hi there good people. I have never been a part of this but I have heard about it and am curious.I am reading these message boards to get an idea. I keep reading about play parties but am very curious as to what happens at them. Is it something like an orgy? what exactly goes down?I don't really want to go to one if it involves unprotected sex with strangers



ToServeIsToLive -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 12:19:11 AM)

It can be vastly different from party to party depending on a lot of different things.  The ones I've been to were nothing like an orgy though.  More like a get together where some people played with their subs while there, but as a rule (for this particular party) there was no sex involved.



touchthesky -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 12:33:48 AM)

i have been to some dungeons but never a play party. I have shied away from this.



Focus50 -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 2:12:45 AM)

The few I've been to were more a social gathering, not unlike a munch.  Main difference was that since the gathering was on private premises, there was opportunity and availability for those who wished to lose some or all of their clothing and play with the ropes and toys etc....  But there was no pressure or expectation for everyone to participate, merely the opportunity.... 
 
Certainly I never witnessed any exchange of bodily fluids etc.  But the last one I attended did feature two naked fem/subs serving drinks & munchies etc, which seemed to make a couple of visitors uncomfortable.
 
Focus.



MissDiandSirHugh -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 2:29:23 AM)

We have been to a few BDSM parties and none of them have been either orgies or sexual satisfaction parties Infact each had a theme set for it well in advance and so everyone had time to both plan and to understand what was going to be happening at each of these.
They have been more just parties that everyone that came were form the life style and able to enjoy meeting others and make friends with out having to be careful of saying things out of place, but as with any party  manners were used by all present both Dom, Sub or Slave.
Even with each theme all play was done with discursion and where it was designated to be done, the only party that We attended that was a full on play party was a BDSM Worlds Records Night and all who participated had nominated for their events and those who were to administer what ever was happening were also able to nominate and be accepted or rejected by the receiver unless they were owned by the the person whom also nominated them.
But to think that the play parties you read about are just orgies in disguise is far form the facts more than likely  you will not see any sexual acts or intercourse maybe a naked breast or yes maybe a naked body is the most you will see and some play sessions carried out by some also.



BeautifulRacket -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 3:19:36 AM)

At my community playspace, nudity, sex and group activities aren't unusual at parties, but it is a sex-positive place. Even with sex celebrated and encouraged, there is no pressure to participate, and safer-sex practices are actively promoted. As others have said, parties are social gatherings first and foremost, and I'm guessing it's almost universal for anyone who seems pushy, just there for 'easy' sex, predatory, etc., to receive a cool reception at these events, so my experience has been that the norm is a very easygoing, comfortable atmosphere for everyone who's open to reserving judgement and having a good time. 

Upsurd, the bottom line is that no one's going to force you to have sex (safer or unsafe) with anyone unless you run into a rare, bad apple. Try to contact someone in the group ahead of time to ask what you might expect, and if you don't like the event for some reason, just leave and give others a shot in the future. [:)]



DianeB269 -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 3:47:34 AM)

It's 3:30 am and I just got home from a weekly play party. Just people hanging out dressed in leather and rubber having a good time without sex.


Diane



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 4:19:10 AM)

In about 12 years or so, I've never been to a play party where sex was permitted in the common play/social areas.  Mostly they're very social, with folks talking, some SM based play with no pressure to participate, and sometimes a technique demo.  Typically there's plenty of food and no alcohol.  
 
Keep in mind these are private parties, so different folks will have different rules for what goes on in their homes.  In general, if they know you well enough to invite you to their homes for such a party, you'll know them well enough through time and conversation to know what's acceptable there and what isn't.
 
 



DianeB269 -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 4:29:32 AM)

Yes to everything MsSonnetMarwood said.


Diane



goodpet -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 4:41:45 AM)

Private play parties, which i am assuming you are questing the one held in private home or rented space, not public dungeons, vary tremendously. What they seem to have in common is
1. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.
2. If sex is allowed, safe sex is practiced.

Each is different so it will behoove you to ask first for the home’s protocols on play and sex.  Ask the host or hostess
……………………..
Not to scare you, (or excite some others on here *grin*) there are a few parties that fancy themselves as Gor based parties and the girls come in, strip and are available to any man for anything for the duration of the party.. I have heard from my friend there is very little play other then spanking or a little flogging, it is mostly service and sex. SAFE SEX is practiced, including that the girls can use condoms for giving oral. Those are mostly, it sounds, like a sex party.
……………………
All the private play parties we have hosted, or gone to, in 7 different states over the last 6 years, have all been more about play and social then sex. Many allowed sex but it was not the focus and usually went on in the back bedroom. Sometimes after a scene, partners would want to have more intimate play in private, and head off for awhile.

I have seen more sex during play in the Gay Leathermen parties and play, and have been told that also from my GL friends and family, such as our roommate, Jerry.

So bottom line is ASK ASK ASK…  go with someone the first time, or ask the host or hostess to find someone to escort you and explain things during the evening..

And go enjoy the night



SimplyMichael -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 6:09:43 AM)

Your biggest fear should be either boredom or revulsion, but not for your personal safety.

As has been said, the general format is for a social area to be set aside for socializing...the play and sex, if any goes on consensually in other rooms.

You are in Arizona, APEX has great events and has a great reputation.



onestandingstill -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 6:38:36 AM)

I've been to lots of play parties.
Some of these had sex involved between two consenting people, but most did not.
Fliud bound partners usually don't use condoms, but will if they play with someone other than their partner.
Sex is a little more common in these private parties than in public dungeons, but even then they don't want you to involve yourself in what they and their partner are doing.
In over 40 parties I've been to in private homes none of them became free for all orgies I assure you.
It's more the norm to play at sensation play in these environments generally.
I say play at it as most couples into edge play don't go real far with others around.
Most of the things that freak people out like blood play, extreme needle play, enemas etc... are reserved for less public venues.
The party you go to may be just you playing with the person you came in with That's way more common in BDSM parties than you being given to a stranger to be played with.
If you're single until you agree no one should force you into anything you're not comfortable with.
If you go with a Dom no one else should even touch you to give you a hug without your tops permission.
BDSM people often separate full contact sex out of most of their play scenes and seem to mostly want that contact to be more private.
I think most subs are comfortable or often expected even when not comfortable to be naked or close to naked in these venues.
Doms on the other hand rarely get naked in social functions.
In our local dungeon on numerous full contact nights I've been to people used the full contact opportunity twice.
Both times the guys just unzipped their pants and stuck their dick out to have their gilr give them head or full sex.
All you saw was a fully dressed man with his zipper down and his member out.
Both those times the guys would have been very offended if someone came up and tried to involve themselves in what they were involved in.
I personally love play parties as you mainly are together to enjoy the fact you have common interests with others.
Being able to socalize with people in my local area face to face is fun for me.
You'll probably wonder why you haven't been before once you make it to one.
Give it a whirl. If you decide you're not comfortable you can just go home.
suzanne



aSlavesLife -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 6:48:25 AM)

Play parties usually involve virgin sacrifices, fornication with vegetables, drinking games involving vodka, tequila, and ovaltine, loud music, vomiting, pizza, several fistfights, and the police being called. Or am I thinking frat parties? I do get the two confused.



onestandingstill -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 6:54:40 AM)

Hi aSlavesLife,
I guess that would depend on who your friends are.
As I know you guys are not into play parties it was a funny joking statement though.
It definaltely added some levity to say the least.
suzanne



DianeB269 -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 7:24:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aSlavesLife

Play parties usually involve virgin sacrifices, fornication with vegetables, drinking games involving vodka, tequila, and ovaltine, loud music, vomiting, pizza, several fistfights, and the police being called. Or am I thinking frat parties? I do get the two confused.


Sounds more like a high school house party.........


Diane



Phoenix2raven -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 8:01:07 AM)

You must be related to my neighbor. Who we call the dorm of the dammed LOL
quote:

ORIGINAL: aSlavesLife

Play parties usually involve virgin sacrifices, fornication with vegetables, drinking games involving vodka, tequila, and ovaltine, loud music, vomiting, pizza, several fistfights, and the police being called. Or am I thinking frat parties? I do get the two confused.



nyrisa -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 8:16:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: aSlavesLife

Play parties usually involve virgin sacrifices, fornication with vegetables, drinking games involving vodka, tequila, and ovaltine, loud music, vomiting, pizza, several fistfights, and the police being called. Or am I thinking frat parties? I do get the two confused.



Just HOW far ahead do you have to book birthday parties at Chuck E Cheese's? *L*



Caitriona -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 9:33:59 AM)

In my experience play parties have "play" areas and a general social area.  There is usually no "play" allowed in the social area...play areas are open to anyone attending and if you want to watch you are welomed to do so as long as you are polite and quiet.  There's usually food and drinks (no alcohol at any I've been to) and great conversation.  



GirlyDevil -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 9:41:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: upsurd1

hi there good people. I have never been a part of this but I have heard about it and am curious.I am reading these message boards to get an idea. I keep reading about play parties but am very curious as to what happens at them. Is it something like an orgy? what exactly goes down?I don't really want to go to one if it involves unprotected sex with strangers


The first play party I went to, it was to get to know others who share the same interests as you, kind of a get together, only with play involved- these are the only ones I like to attend b/c they will also show me new things that I would never have my dom do to me. The last one I went to, there were some finger foods, a lot of talking, and of course playing. But yes it does differentiate (spelling), from party to party.



mp072004 -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 9:50:32 AM)

Parties vary. Ask your host specific questions, preferably beforehand, to discern the vibe of the party.

Smaller, more intimate parties, (less than 10) where most guests already have met, can get a little orgy-like. However, in my experience, they don't involve unprotected sex. Actually, I've never been to a party where insertion of a penis into mouth, anus, or vagina did not require barriers, though barrier rules about cunnilingus, fingers, and dildo insertion are generally less firm. Sometimes the parties that have entered the zone of "orgy-like" don't involve sex at all--just a lot of simultaneous and collaborative BDSM play.

None of the larger (more than 20) parties I've attended have had that flavor. Some of those parties didn't allow any sex at all, so everyone who played did exclusively BDSM play. (In those cases "sex" needs to be clearly defined by the hosts.) On playing with total strangers: sometimes people do pickup play (meeting someone that very night and playing)--and there's nothing wrong with that, I've done it and had fun. More often, if the party is a fairly regularly scheduled event, people will play with acquaintances that they've met before, either at earlier parties or munches or other events--not people they're in relationships with, but people they know.

Monica



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