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What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/10/2005 5:54:59 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

Since Lady Angelika tossed her question about what makes a good Dom/me, I thought fair play was in order.

So, what are the signs/traits of a good sub?

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

Post #: 1

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/10/2005 6:10:14 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

So, what are the signs/traits of a good sub?

Lily

The same as they are for any good person.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 2

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/10/2005 6:34:26 AM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

humility and the willing and desire to learn

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 3

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/10/2005 7:28:59 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

what are the signs/traits of a good sub?

a seeker of nourishing relationships.

knows the difference between a caring Dom/me and an abusive controlling jerk.

self assured, aware of personal difficulties as well as strengths.

interpersonal sensitivity--reactive to the subtle shifts in the emotional tone of others.

flexibility that enables adaptation to changing circumstances.

accepting of self and dependency needs, in spite of the value our culture places on independence and self-sufficency.

an enormous capacity for devotion.

self confident, in appearance and in service.

a giver, often needing help in rationing self so not to be spread "too thin" or to the point of complete exhaustion.

willingness to learn and try new things.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 4

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/10/2005 7:51:14 AM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

what are the signs/traits of a good sub?

a seeker of nourishing relationships.

knows the difference between a caring Dom/me and an abusive controlling jerk.

self assured, aware of personal difficulties as well as strengths.

interpersonal sensitivity--reactive to the subtle shifts in the emotional tone of others.

flexibility that enables adaptation to changing circumstances.

accepting of self and dependency needs, in spite of the value our culture places on independence and self-sufficency.

an enormous capacity for devotion.

self confident, in appearance and in service.

a giver, often needing help in rationing self so not to be spread "too thin" or to the point of complete exhaustion.

willingness to learn and try new things.

very well said
and of course
obedience, obedience, obedience because the desire and will is there.

shy

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 5

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/12/2005 4:12:40 PM

littlebuttercup

Posts: 36
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

Since Lady Angelika tossed her question about what makes a good Dom/me, I thought fair play was in order.

So, what are the signs/traits of a good sub?

Lily

personally, i have an innocent quality that is very attractive to some i have noticed. not to be confused with naivete.

_____________________________

sticking feathers in your butt does not make you a chicken.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 6

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/12/2005 6:13:20 PM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

somone that is sensibel and finds the right partner.

(in reply to littlebuttercup)

Post #: 7

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/14/2005 7:16:35 AM

LeanNTall

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/10/2005
Status: offline

I'm new to this site and relatively new to the lifestyle and loved your post .I'm an avid reader and you put it perfectly.ThankYou. Lean n Tall

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 8

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/15/2005 9:51:30 PM

cynthiamarie

Posts: 205
Joined: 3/11/2005
From: Bluefield, WV, USA
Status: offline

i don't know...but whatever they are, i hope i have them.

i wish all the Dom/mes on the board could tell us what THEY think.

Is there an area where something like this has already happened? Would someone please post a link if there is?

(in reply to LeanNTall)

Post #: 9

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/16/2005 5:10:27 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Since Lady Angelika tossed her question about what makes a good Dom/me, I thought fair play was in order.

So, what are the signs/traits of a good sub?

Lily

Hmmm... I saw this list somewhere and I thought to myself: I'd like a submissive with these qualities! I had to make a few minor edits.

is self-assured
is responsible
is self-control
is honest
is intelligent
is empathic
is trustworthy
is patient
is adventurous
is creative
is open-minded
is emotionally stable
is self-confident
is a good communicator
has good manners
has a sense of honour
has good sense of humour
knows and respects their limits as well as the limits of their dominant
protects him/herself and controls him/herself
honours the contracts that s/he makes
can be strict with him/herself (self-discipline) but have a tender side (forgiving one's self)
can admit to not knowing everything and/or doesn't expect their dominant to know everything
can admit to having made a mistake and/or can accept that their dominant can make mistakes
can be chivalrous
doesn’t need to submit to everyone to feel more submissive

Sound a little familiar? I kind of look for these qualities in the people that I surround myself with in general.

I have to admit on a purely superficial that a spankable ass is also an asset.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 10

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/16/2005 11:26:41 AM

Mowas

Posts: 10
Joined: 3/1/2005
Status: offline

I'm new here but the people and topics seem quite interesting. Now then, a good sub,Mmmmm loveing,kind,respectful,needs guidance,wants attention,needs disaplin,never givving a free moment to a dom.

Seriously, She is a very introcate part of a relationship. I think that the traits would have to be discused by a sub and her dom to be truely defined.

< Message edited by Mowas -- 3/16/2005 11:44:25 AM >

_____________________________

Take each precious moment and cherrish it while you can
because today will never come this way again.
Mowas

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 11

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/16/2005 11:47:35 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I have to admit on a purely superficial that a spankable ass is also an asset.

- LA

Amen to that LA...

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 12

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/16/2005 12:01:42 PM

ARoseAndAnEye

Posts: 67
Joined: 12/8/2004
Status: offline

hmmm... i TOO have an innocent quality about me, but it most definitely is based upon a kind of naivete. Don't get me wrong, i have exceptional insight into some people in certain situations.... But Master is constantly telling me of an affect that i have on people that i am absolutely unaware of, until he points it out.

i believe naivete/innocence is a wonderful quality for a submissive. Along with that:
intelligence, common sense, self esteem (not narcissm), ability to communicate, passion, passion Passion, and the ability to trust (i am astounded at the number of truly cynical people our society has produced!)

i also believe that the submissive personality is innate.

~ anna

(in reply to littlebuttercup)

Post #: 13

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/16/2005 12:15:25 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Except I don't have a submissive personality.

(in reply to ARoseAndAnEye)

Post #: 14

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/16/2005 12:18:47 PM

ARoseAndAnEye

Posts: 67
Joined: 12/8/2004
Status: offline

ops! i mis-spoke with my keyboard!

i believe the submissive "persuasion" is innate.

~ anna

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 15

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/16/2005 3:39:52 PM

stormsfate

Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

It would depend upon what a particular dominant is looking for in a submissive. The one trait that appears to be almost universally desirable is a willingness to please.

best regards,
fate

_____________________________

Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size

(in reply to ARoseAndAnEye)

Post #: 16

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/16/2005 3:44:47 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

i believe naivete/innocence is a wonderful quality for a submissive.

I can put myself in someone else's shoes and see the attraction that some people might have for naivete/innocence.

It is however not something that I personally find attractive in a submissive.

In fact, I have a penchant for insightful, wise and somewhat experienced men and women.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to ARoseAndAnEye)

Post #: 17

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/16/2005 4:50:57 PM

Tatania

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/16/2005
Status: offline

All of the above,patience and kindness being at the top of my list.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 18

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/16/2005 5:27:05 PM

willing2serve

Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

So, what are the signs/traits of a good sub?

Lily

IMO, confident enough to know who she is, strong enough to know what she desires, intelligent enough to know she has choices, self assured enough to know she has a precious gift to give, and a willingness to be molded. Laying all she is and has at her Master's feet.

< Message edited by willing2serve -- 3/16/2005 5:31:26 PM >

_____________________________

Definitely A Journey!

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 19

RE: What are the signs/traits of a good Sub? - 3/18/2005 9:34:17 AM

terah

Posts: 69
Joined: 12/17/2004
Status: offline

One that keep her own idenity wthout getting lost in servitude. ie humor, creativity, skills that can enhance the Ds or Ms relationship.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 20

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