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RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 1:15:47 AM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
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ok!!  now we got us a party goin on...

i kinda liked the term "fat bitch" my own self...it's like Lesbians taking back the word "dyke"...when we own the words they've used for so long to hurt us, they no longer have any power over us or our self-esteem......


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Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

wannabe member of the subbi mafia

(in reply to lilsubl)
Profile   Post #: 361
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 1:15:40 AM   
bgtreasure


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Maryland
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I can say as a BBW, I was a BBW at the club, at the park, at school, out with friends and I am here as well.  Maybe you notice us more because our lovely full figures gives your more to look at :-)
But one thing that I found since I have been here (in the lifestyle) is that I find most people into BDSM are more accepting hell we run around half naked whenever we get together and that was eye opening that I found others like myself not self conscious at all.  Where in my vanilla life all the BBW's are always self consious and so are the skinny ones.  Everyone worrying about what size they are to big or to small.
And I say all this to say that I don't believe that there are more here then anywhere else.  You just get to see more a whole lot more of us LOL.

(in reply to touchthesky)
Profile   Post #: 362
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 1:17:39 AM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: obey1

Correct.  Let me state again as a personal trainer involved for 18+ years professionally, that the old height-weight charts and now even more recently the BMI index is quickly going out of date.

As we get heavier, we also ge more muscular.  The height-weight charts and BMI indexes do not account for someone who is at the top of the bell curve in musculature.  Muscle is more dense than fat.  On my profile, my picture shows me in competition at 186lbs for 6'2".  But the Army would have told me at that point to lose weight.  I surpassed 185lbs in the summer of my 10th-11th grade year in high school.

We are talking about morbidly obese people who have no scale to measure them except the visual.  In looking at them the eyes relate to the brain that there is a serious problem somewhere regardless of numbers.  We are arguing about posting pictures and not posting pictures, about physical chemistry and the lack of.  I argue about basic mobility.  The large majority of my immediate family has had very serious mobility problems from their obesity.  I saw this at age 14 and started lifting weights and then became a personal trainer.  I am now 37 and still earning money teaching others proper habits.  My brother is on disability at 450lbs, my mother is in the hospital at 308lbs, my grandmother weighs 227, my aunts and uncles are way over their limits, and I had an uncle die at nearly 550lbs.

I think we can set the general limit at 240lbs.  Unless you are a 6'5" male or a dedicated bodybuilder, somewhere near this limit is going to cause you mobility problems such as the very least arthritis, at the worst, a crippling stroke, heart attack, or diabetes....


i watched a movie the other night named 'Fat Like Me'.  In a nutshell, it was about a teenaged girl who had an overweight mom.  She went the exact opposite way and was a very attractive athletic type.  The gist of the movie was this....she hated that her mom was fat so she judged others that way.  And she felt that fat people are not treated differently because they are fat....that it all has to do with personality. 
 
Someone asked her "So you think if you were fat with your personality now that you would still be popular?"....to which she answered yes.  So she did an experiment.  She masqueraded as a fat girl.....but kept her normal personality.
 
The result?  She was constantly insulted for being fat.  Her 'friends' who did not realize it was her called her cow, wide load, mooed when she walked by...etc.  Very interesting interaction.
 
She obviously learned something through that ordeal but my point is this.  She hated that her mother was (what she considered) fat....so she strove against being the same.  From this post, i see that obesity runs in your family and that has compelled you to follow an opposite path (which i might add that i have a friend whose parents were alcoholics and 2 of her siblings turned out to be while both she and her brother vehemently abhorred any alcohol).  i think that is admirable.  But your obvious animosity toward obese people is not.
 
Your photo is absolutely adorable (and i trust it is fairly current).  But in 20 years, when balding, loss of teeth and 'love handles' set it, i am most certain you will not look the same.  Hopefully you have a partner who will look beyond that because if she is superficial and only concerned with how good you look physically, well, she may be disappointed.
 
The irony of all of this to me is....i tend to prefer very large built guys.  Just a personal preference.  While 6', 200 lbs is average and may work for many, it does not for me.  i cannot count the rude messages i have gotten from 'fit' guys....insulting me because of my preferences.  Due to their responses, i even put in my ad that yes, i do prefer 'old, big' guys.  (Sounded kind of funny but i did it just to hopefully put an end to the bs.)
 
But although my preferences laid with big guys, i felt no compulsion to insult those that were not.  As a matter of fact, i think there are many attractive men who are 6', 200 lbs.....but that is not my preference.  Still i have no reason to bash them.
 
You obviously have your reasons for doing what you do....i am not knocking that.  But just remember that those who focus on the physical in finding a partner may be very disillusioned when 'old age' sets in.  And yes....it does happen, at some point, to all of us.
 
DG
 
 

 

(in reply to obey1)
Profile   Post #: 363
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 1:19:32 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilsubl
  high fives ya back!!!
Thank you very much.
I love the above Godiva and liqueur idea.   
quote:

  yes, and feel free to help yourselves to some home-made irish cream liquor (baileys) to go with the chocolate-covered strawberries... lined up in a pattern that spells out "Kiss My Fat Ass"
LOLOL,   M

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(in reply to lilsubl)
Profile   Post #: 364
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 1:19:42 AM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
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From: P'burgh PA
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quote:

edited to add: http://www.collarchat.com/m_805984/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#806105

you can find the bailey's recipe over there... as well as other cocktail recipes


Thank you! I'll leave the chocolate and run along to bed now. Um I have a fountain thingy too if y'all want to borrow it for dipping your strawberries.



_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to sensualmagirl)
Profile   Post #: 365
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 1:25:50 AM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
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ooooh, yes, thank you...sleep well......

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Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

wannabe member of the subbi mafia

(in reply to SDFemDom4cuck)
Profile   Post #: 366
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 2:24:19 AM   
sensualmagirl


Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilsubl
  high fives ya back!!!
Thank you very much.
I love the above Godiva and liqueur idea.   
quote:

  yes, and feel free to help yourselves to some home-made irish cream liquor (baileys) to go with the chocolate-covered strawberries... lined up in a pattern that spells out "Kiss My Fat Ass"
LOLOL,   M


eehh... wish I could say I was being original... somebody way back on like page 8 or something said they were going to get their M&M's engraved with that... I just thought it was funny!

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(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
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RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 7:31:16 AM   
kc692


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Damn, last night I signed off, and was just starting page 3....now at page 19, I guess I'm off to see if anything actually original has been written in the 16 pages in about 12 hours.........

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Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to sensualmagirl)
Profile   Post #: 368
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 7:43:06 AM   
kc692


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Joined: 3/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart

I am just enjoying the topic, while I eat my potato chips.
Don't get your panties in a bunch, I you don't like the topic or replies, move on.


What about the ones that don't wear panties?  Can they move on too, or do they have to stay?

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to asubmissiveheart)
Profile   Post #: 369
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 7:58:21 AM   
cjenny


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I stopped reading at page 8, so I do apologise if I go over trodden ground.
I'm actually intrigued with the 'Indulgence Factor'. As a whole, we tend to be more extreme obviously.. I think that carries over to many things including eating habits. The sheer enjoyment and indulgence of eating is a sensual happiness. I too think there is a larger group of larger people involved here, YET YET humans living not in third world countries are getting heavier. Not just telesubbies or Dom/mes, but society in general.
I am 5'6" (and 3/4s) went from a size 24 to a size 6 in one year. I am now resting at size 8 hoping to stabilise at a size 10. Many would look at me and say I am chubby at a 10, others will say I am simply curvy. At one time I would have cared, now in my 40's I am aiming simply to please myself & my doctor. Dang I hate these lil windows because I have to keep scrolling to find my point lol.
Ah yes, the 'Indulgence Factor'... I think there IS a correlation. Go ahead and holler at me, I've been fat & skinny  .
OP, interesting question. Unfortunately it is a sore subject for many. I was going to say that the phrasing of the OP was an issue then realised that no matter how she stated it... folks would react.
As I said I only read the first 8 pages, I am pretty impressed that the OP never lost her temper despite some of the responses.

Yes, telesubbies. Not teletubbies.

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RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 8:00:10 AM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
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Fast reply........


Who cares how big or small we are? We're all here for the same reason, all into some kind of BDSM.


Diane

(in reply to kc692)
Profile   Post #: 371
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 8:52:36 AM   
rosanegra


Posts: 277
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http://feh-muh-nist.blogspot.com/2006/03/but-youre-not-fat.html

Just figured this might be related a bit

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RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 9:10:47 AM   
cuddleheart50


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From: Kentucky
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Why are there so many overweight women in BDSM?  Because we are the best!!!

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and live like it's heaven on Earth.


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RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 10:54:48 AM   
nephandi


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From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
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There are many overweight pepole everywere, but on BDSM sites we are less stigmatized against and we are proud of our bodies and dear to post pictures where we otherwise woud not have done so. That combined whit the fact that there are more than a few hedonists in the BDSM lifstyle could explaine why so many pictures show overwight women. And why should we not post our phothos, we are just a beautiful as thin women, even whit some extra weight.

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 374
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 11:01:14 AM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rosanegra

http://feh-muh-nist.blogspot.com/2006/03/but-youre-not-fat.html

Just figured this might be related a bit



very relevant!  thank you for the link...i love what she says, sounds a lot like me...


_____________________________

Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

wannabe member of the subbi mafia

(in reply to rosanegra)
Profile   Post #: 375
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 11:42:08 AM   
obey1


Posts: 227
Joined: 11/26/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl
But your obvious animosity toward obese people is not.
 
I think you missed the forest for the trees, my dear.  How can one dedicate his life to exercise and then have animosity towards those He set out to help?  If I have any 'animosity' towards a certain population it would be the undereducated public that believes that you can control your metabolism through diet alone without any form of exercise or increased physical activity.  It would be like a Doctor who had animosity towards the sick.

You obviously have your reasons for doing what you do....i am not knocking that. 
 
Yes, health and well being for all of us past the age of 40 (35 in many cases) so that we can enjoy ourselves together.
 
 But just remember that those who focus on the physical in finding a partner may be very disillusioned when 'old age' sets in.  

You are only proving my point.  Old age + morbid obesity= SERIOUS HEALTH RISKS & PROBLEMS.  I want a partner who will not die on me, become disabled, or have a stroke that makes them a vegetable for the rest of their lives.  Physical prowess is the number one determining factor in these cases.  A problem that is not being curently managed, denied, embraced, or defended through apathy only leads to a very poor 'old age' disillusionment.  I won't even get into self-image issues and psychological implications, depression, alzheimers (diet rich in aluminum), diets rich in heavy metals, etc.



My crusade is for health and health alone.  When you buy vegetables at the market, do you not go by their physical appearance and appropriate firmness?  When you shop for a used car, do you not try to find the nicest one you can afford?  Are there not people who would not accept a cigarette smoker as their mate?

There are untold numbers of people with very serious mental illness.  Are you prejudiced against these people and would you want them to have an intimate part of your life?

Now, I am not comparing the morbidly obese to mental illness.  I am simply showing you that however 'shallow' you deem me to be because I work with moderately obese people all day long trying to educate them, but I would not ultimately take a raw candidate as my wife or life partner....

...that there are always others who are just as 'shallow' who believe American freedom equals irresponsibility and selfishness.  "Live and let live" they say.  But they are upset when ultimately they have to foot the bill for someone elses unmanaged freedoms throughout a life of poor self-care.  I only seek to educate those who have the ears to listen, not someone who lives in denial of statistical facts, likelihoods, and probabilities.

It is about health for the general public, and my search to find a woman who has an active lifestyle like mine so we can do things together.  To each his own when it comes to preferences.  I am unapologetic to you or anyone who believes in Janis Joplin's "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose."

< Message edited by obey1 -- 2/11/2007 11:44:40 AM >

(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 376
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 11:46:46 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
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From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline
i am fat and i have been to the doctor once the last year, only once and that was for an eye infection due to having an infected pircing and getting some of the goo in my eye by acsident, before that i had not been to the doctor in to years and the last time it was just to say hi to the new comunity doctor and have my standard three year chek up. i am a healthy woman, even if i am fat.

(in reply to obey1)
Profile   Post #: 377
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 11:52:24 AM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
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obey1 I do agree with you about the health issues, yes they are indeed serious and costly in many ways. There is no reason in the world why you shouldn't seek someone that fits for you. If that means someone who is healthy.. well most of us would prefer a healthy partner lol.
Crud I lost the rest of my mental post, heh how fitting eh? Yes I am in the midst of a lupus flare and the memory is shot. So I shall hush except to say yo.... I happen to believe Janis! I bet I read that lyric in a totally diff light than you do.

adg.. I understand how you could read that into the post, I really do. If i were not mind fogged I could actually hang on to cognitive thinking and finish the thought. Erm, favor please of anyone...if you see me going like this.. shoot me an email please? sometimes i cannot see it. *note to self, edit and remove this whole bit*

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~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to obey1)
Profile   Post #: 378
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 12:00:12 PM   
hot1


Posts: 455
Joined: 5/4/2004
From: Ontario Canada
Status: offline
I agree that health is more important.  I have more men turn me down because they cannot deal with me in pain and my back than any other reason. 

Health, happiness and love..the only things you cannot buy....

I also can see Obey1 point about dealing with it all day and not wanting to at home.  And him wanting someone that enjoys the same things he does...is that not what we ALL want?

beth

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Please Don't Confuse The Blond

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 379
RE: Why so many overweight women in BDSM? in viewing ph... - 2/11/2007 12:05:06 PM   
obey1


Posts: 227
Joined: 11/26/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: nephandi

i am fat and i have been to the doctor once the last year, only once and that was for an eye infection due to having an infected pircing and getting some of the goo in my eye by acsident, before that i had not been to the doctor in to years and the last time it was just to say hi to the new comunity doctor and have my standard three year chek up. i am a healthy woman, even if i am fat.


Not having aches and pains, infections, or other obvious symptoms to send you to the doctor in two years does not mean that you are 'healthy'.  Did you get your cholesterol checked along with your blood sugar?  You did not mention your age either.  There are the standard OB/GYN visits you should not miss along with mammograms, etc.  Even cars need their oil changed and fluids and tire pressure checked several times a year.

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 380
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