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monogamy - 2/11/2007 9:10:08 PM

novicecourtesan

Posts: 116
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline

hello..

I am a novice sub who is seeking someone in her area (NYC) and in her age range (28-39) who would like to be monogamous. I am not sure how likely this is, but I have always envisioned submission to be to one special dom. It would make me sick to think he went elsewhere to be satisfied.

I am curious to know the thoughts from the Master's viewpoint about monogamy.

thank you.
n.

Post #: 1

RE: monogamy - 2/11/2007 10:04:25 PM

MasterDane

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline

It is my impression that there are two prevalent mindsets on any online forum, that of the collector and that of the connoisseur . For the former the satisfaction is in the number of conquests, for the later the satisfaction is in guiding a submissive towards perfection.

I find myself without the energy and time needed to commit to more than one woman, even if I wanted to, thus I would much rather perfect a single relationship. I am not saying it is impossible for someone to be both, but for me at least it is an untenable position.

(in reply to novicecourtesan)

Post #: 2

RE: monogamy - 2/11/2007 11:30:13 PM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

Because I'm female, I can never be a Master. But since I'm a switch, I am a Mistress part of the time. Many think switches have to be poly. Not me. I'm all about monogamy.

(in reply to novicecourtesan)

Post #: 3

RE: monogamy - 2/12/2007 12:38:39 AM

MomentsofHistory

Posts: 64
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

Different strokes for different folks, but I personally am monogomous, I don't like sharing for one, and quite frankly, one is all I believe I would ever want to handle....

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Post #: 4

RE: monogamy - 2/12/2007 1:25:03 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

Seems to be at least two distinct mindsets on this but probably plenty more grey area in between.

For me, M/s is the dynamic by which I live my personal relationships (private & monogamous) and just as I didn't play around in my previous vanilla life, I have no desire to within M/s, either!

But there's no doubt there are plenty calling themself 'Master' for the sole purpose of justifying humping anything with a heartbeat, too!

While I need the greater M/s dynamic to live my intimate relationships, for others it's more about the kink and/or validation of "being seen".... Naturally, having a "string of ponies" ranks high on desirability here.

It's not really so different to the vanilla world, actually. Probably most form relationships for the intimacy and committment etc but there's still plenty who only seek sexual encounters....

Focus.

(in reply to novicecourtesan)

Post #: 5

RE: monogamy - 2/12/2007 7:22:48 AM

novicecourtesan

Posts: 116
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline

thank you very much for your insights. I find it comforting that there are many dominant masters out there interested in monogamy...

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 6

RE: monogamy - 2/12/2007 7:30:27 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Because I'm female, I can never be a Master.

Interesting.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Post #: 7

RE: monogamy - 2/12/2007 7:45:27 AM

redpetals

Posts: 229
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Quite frankly,I believe that there are way too many "Masters" on here that use this lifestyle as a venue to simply fuck anyone they want.And lets face it in the vanila world they would be getting their "goody parts" handed to em on a platter..(mmm..add a sprig of parsley,,the curly kind..and what a nice picture that is..)
And that's ok by me..they are the ones who are missing out on what is IMO the most
attractive thing about being a submissive.
Total power exchange.
And I personally can not see that happening when someone is "controlling" ten women.
But hey..
We as subs have the right to say..no ..and keep looking.
But, just dont be afraid to try poly.
I know this seems contradictory but..oh well.
A poly relationship..when they are with the right people..is the most stress free relationship in the world.
How ever their is a huge difference between a relationship where you are part of a core.an actual "family".and a relationship where you are simply Wednesday's meatloaf.
Just sayin'

(in reply to novicecourtesan)

Post #: 8

RE: monogamy - 2/12/2007 7:59:38 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

As a person who is not a must have monogamy person, it has been my experience online and when I looked in a local community that outside of the male dominants wanting to see their woman with another woman that the far majority of dominants believe in monogamy and you should not have a problem of finding suitable dominants who share your view.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to redpetals)

Post #: 9

RE: monogamy - 2/12/2007 8:43:41 AM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Because I'm female, I can never be a Master.

That is not true, considering Master is gender neutral.

Anyways, in regards to the OP, you will find very few Doms who are monogamous by choice. The more people they can fuck, the better they like it. They might like a devoted slave, but if you let them get away with it they will go for as many subs as possible, using BDSM as an excuse and explaining it away as a "kink". Bullshit. It is the same in the vanilla world.

Just simply do not let them get away with it. Put your foot down and if they want you bad enough (and more often than not they will, because male Doms FAR outnumber female subs) then they will give in.. Of course they will pressure you after they have snared you, but do not give in. Have them make a choice. In that matter you have the upper hand.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Post #: 10

RE: monogamy - 2/12/2007 8:48:03 AM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

quote:

That is not true, considering Master is gender neutral.

Actualy Sir, no it is not. The female version of Master is Mistress. Both words come from latin Magister and Magistrix.

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 11

RE: monogamy - 2/12/2007 8:49:19 AM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nephandi

quote:

That is not true, considering Master is gender neutral.

Actualy Sir, no it is not. The female version of Master is Mistress. Both words come from latin Magister and Magistrix.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/master

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to nephandi)

Post #: 12

RE: monogamy - 2/12/2007 8:52:37 AM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

Top serces do not count, it is still true that the female version of Master is Mistress, a female head of a household would be a Mistress, a male a Master, a good crafts man would be a Master, a woman a Mistress. It is jsut the same as prince or princess, sorcerer, sorceress and so on, the same word whit one male ending er and one female ending ess.

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 13

RE: monogamy - 2/12/2007 8:58:46 AM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

So a female that has earned her Master's degree is a Mistress of Science?

Somehow that does not sound right.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to nephandi)

Post #: 14

RE: monogamy - 2/12/2007 9:27:06 AM

novicecourtesan

Posts: 116
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline

masters and mistresses....
thank you for the insight. I am in this for the long haul--I believe in "the total power exchange." But this, and trusting someone to be dominant over me and my body, means that I know he is as devoted to me as I will be to him. It's one my boundaries...right now.

the ideal polyamory-family relationship sounds wonderful, but it's hard enough to find one person with the right intentions, let alone two or more.... :)

thanks again!

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 15

RE: monogamy - 2/12/2007 9:33:33 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Here's a source:

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/master

1. One that has control over another or others. .b. The owner of a slave.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to novicecourtesan)

Post #: 16

RE: monogamy - 2/12/2007 10:04:50 AM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

The female form of words are being passed out several places due to political corectness, also a few places have never gotten a female version, espesialy in fields where there was originaly just men. But yes thecnicaly she is Mistress of sience yes.

And no Mistress is not a lover word, or a word of less worth, it simply means woman that have masterd somthing instead of man that have masterd somthing.

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 17

RE: monogamy - 2/13/2007 1:41:52 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Because I'm female, I can never be a Master.

That is not true, considering Master is gender neutral.

For cryin' out loud, this is a BDSM site and you don't need any Master's degree to conclude that, around here, "Master" certainly *is* gender specific!

This very Forum differentiates between Master and Mistress on the basis of *gender*.

Focus.

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 18

RE: monogamy - 2/13/2007 2:07:55 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

I don't know Focus, I'd certainly call MasterFireMaam a Master and she's a woman. I agree for the most part but I just don't like those sweeping generalizations.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 19

RE: monogamy - 2/13/2007 2:51:03 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

Another "sweeping generalization" is that I think communication between strangers works a whole lot better when we speak the same language....

And frankly I can do without the petulant few who deliberately muddy the waters of clarity for the sake of point-scoring or showing off their knowledge of the dictionary - just as SK has. How MasterFireMaam chooses to identify or present herself is hardly cause for reinventing the BDSM wheel, either....

I understood perfectly what defiantbadgirl meant when she made her original statement and doubtless 99.5% of everyone reading it would, too - at the risk of further generalising.... Probably SK understood her point, too, but splitting hairs seems a sport to some yet a poor substitute for intelligence to me.

Focus.

(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 20

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