RE: the how soon to collar question

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: the how soon to collar question

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: the how soon to collar question

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: the how soon to collar question - 2/15/2007 4:05:29 AM

MsStick

Posts: 80
Joined: 5/4/2006
From: Ireland
Status: offline

I don't understand the notion of a collaring happening after mere days, or even months. I guess it means more to Me than to some folks, but I would certainly see it more in line with Master Fire's wedding analogy. Even moving in with a 'platonic' (in the generally understood non-sexual usage of the word!) room-mate in a vanilla sense would take more for Me than ONE MEETING, emails are to be discounted as far too easy to be tricked by

And, to beat an already well flogged horse... when a Dom/me gets angry with you because you are using common sense, RUN A FECKIN MILE!!!

_____________________________

Ms. Stick

Is Minic a bhris béal duine a shrón!
It's often that people's mouths break their noses!

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: the how soon to collar question - 2/15/2007 6:52:03 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

touch,

In my opinion, a collar is a very serious commitment, and I really cannot see one given in so short a time.

CP

(in reply to touchthesky)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: the how soon to collar question - 2/15/2007 7:07:21 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I think collars are so serious I plan on never giving one, doing otherwise demeans their meaning.

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: the how soon to collar question - 2/15/2007 7:12:39 AM

Valyraen

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: touchthesky

a local Dom ( not from collarme) who i spent one evening with and kept in touch with via email asked me to move into his household, be his slave and wear his collar. We got on pretty well. but i do not have a full sense of him. I told him this and he said i do know him and know i am meant to be his slave, that if i trust my instincts to be with him. I suspect he might just be lonely or wanting someone to take care of his needs, that it could easily be someone else. So i told him we had to wait and see what happens, but now he is real angry. He might be the one and i don't want to blow it. tough call

To offer up my 2 cents... I've been with my submissive for 15 months now, and we're still iffy about collaring. In my mind, it's committing yourself seriously toward making a relationship work, and like you said, you barely know this guy! I'm going with the majority of the voices here on this one - if he's getting angry because you want to see if he's right for you, he's not right for you.

(in reply to touchthesky)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: the how soon to collar question - 2/15/2007 8:45:56 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Just to chime in one of the things on my hard limits list is I will never again take a collar or ask for one till I've been with someone as their sub a minimum of a year.
I took a training collar of my first Dom 2 months into our relationship for a 1 year contracted time.
That damn thing just about chocked me in the end.
Due to the commitment and vow I felt very trapped in a toxic relationship.
I learned the hard way, I hope you can learn from our advice here and not make that same mistake.

I look at it this way, if they push hard to collar me before that then I'd think something was amiss.
I mean if you're not going anywhere, and they are not going anywhere, and you think the relationship has what it takes for a long term commitment what's the big need to rush in any way?
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. & Anything worth while is worth waiting for IMO.
suzanne

(in reply to Valyraen)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: the how soon to collar question - 2/15/2007 9:09:52 AM

Wolf1020

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline

Collaring is ok after two things have happened-

A) You know each other well enough to know that as Dominant and Submissive you match well
B) You both feel the time is right to give and accept the collar

After one night it is as impossible for that to happen as it is for two people to know after one night it is time to get married. And here you only have one so called dominant acting dangerously on emotion to boot.

I wouldn't go near him with a ten foot cane.

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: the how soon to collar question - 2/15/2007 9:18:34 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

SimplyMichael:
I think collars are so serious I plan on never giving one, doing otherwise demeans their meaning.

Michael, sometimes your responses can be a pain in the ass, but there are times you put it just SO perfectly. LMAO.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: the how soon to collar question - 2/15/2007 9:28:23 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

I agree with Valyraen and onestandingstill. A collaring, to me, should be not just a sign of commitment, but a bonding when a slave has learned to perform to the satisfaction of the Master.

So many people these days seem to hand out collars like they are candy; kinda cheapens the whole concept. The idea of collaring someone right away, even if you have chosen them as belonging to you is rushing it.

A collar has a deeper meaning than mere ownership, in my opinion. A lot of people use the analogy of it being like a wedding ring; I completely disagree with that idea. Again, the ring is a sign of commitment to a relationship - fine in the vanilla world. But there is so much more than commitment involved with a Master/slave relationship.

I have a lovely slave that I have claimed; she belongs to me. But it will be months before I am satisfied that she has earned my collar.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to Valyraen)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: the how soon to collar question - 2/15/2007 10:28:51 AM

Magdalena156

Posts: 99
Joined: 2/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JasonF

(reply to OP)

Wow... I opened this thread thinking "how soon" would be measured in months, not days. Wow.

I waited one month to collar my girl, but it wasn't so much a "now you're mine!", we grew into the relationship so that the collar just was a symbol of the power exchange that already existed.

But a day? Wow. I smell a predator.

Same here and agreed. Wow. Just wow.

I echo everyone here on this: run, run, as fast as you can. In the 'nilla world this would be like someone proposing to you after a single date and getting pissed that you didn't want to wait.

I was once engaged after six months of dating and I consider that to have been WAY too short, but I wasn't using my best judgment. I was also all of twenty-three.

I'm glad that you're getting warning signals on this, hon, and I know that the right Dom will find you someday. Chin up and good luck!

-m

_____________________________

Lux et umbra vicissim, sed semper amor.

(in reply to JasonF)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: the how soon to collar question - 2/15/2007 12:18:07 PM

Isaidnow

Posts: 13
Joined: 2/6/2007
Status: offline

I beleive that within ANY relationship you will know if they are the one, if you have doubts then they are obviously not.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: the how soon to collar question - 2/15/2007 12:39:43 PM

SATANMAN