Would You Be Bound?

Would You Be Bound? (Full Version)

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losttreasure -> Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 3:47:02 AM)
I did not wish to hijack the thread that prompted this question, What Binds You The Most?, but the answers I saw there made me curious. It appeared as if the majority of subs and slaves were quick to answer that it is the love or similar emotions they feel that binds them to their dominant. But I wonder what the answers would be if the dominant did not in some way share that bond (assuming that they do)? Would you be as bound to your dominant if he or she did not have an emotional investment in you? If they viewed their ownership of you as a purely unemotional relationship and one where you should serve because it is both your place and your agreement? If he or she was ambivalent about whether you love or have any emotional attachment to them, just as long as you abide by your agreement and serve them obediently?

Caitriona -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 4:25:48 AM)
I do not think that I could serve someone who did not have an emotional investment in the relationship - I have often said that my submission is based in my relationship, not the other way around, if that makes sense. I realize that there may be others who can do that sort of thing and get their emotional needs fulfilled elsewhere, but I do not think that I could. That, of course, is based on the fact that the only Dominant I've ever had was my husband first, then we started down the D/s road together.

bandit25 -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 4:38:58 AM)
I agree with Caitriona. I don't know that the emotion would necessarily have to be love but if he had no emotional involvement or investment in me or our relationship, I doubt that I would be in one with him. Course I wouldn't make an agreement like the one you describe unless I was certain that we both had some sort of emotional involvement.

twicehappy -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 4:46:57 AM)
Easy answer, Hell No!

KatyLied -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 4:57:16 AM)
It would be difficult for me to submit to someone with whom I didn't feel some emotion. I know it works for some people and a lot of people scene, but the idea of that doesn't do much for me. I also don't fall in love immediately with people, so I don't need to be in love, but I need an emotional connection, affection and caring of some sort.

sleazybutterfly -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 5:20:13 AM)
No, I can say that I wouldn't be. If I had the contract and agreement, yes, but I wouldn't make a contract, nor accept a collar from someone that didn't have love or emotions for me in return. I have had many Doms that wanted me for just property, they told me that upfront, but I wasn't happy that way. I wanted someone to be my husband, to have a family with.. I don't think either one of those things would work if he didn't love me in some way in return. Its like sex without love, it had its place, but right now for me it doesn't. I knew what I was looking for and when he and I started talking, I knew I had it.

viperess -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 6:19:16 AM)
Greetings, Yes i have served a couple Masters to whom i was just considered property and while i did not have a feeling of love for them i still tried to do my very best in my service to them. i can honestly say i am much happier now that i am again serving a Master whom i do love. i also can say i knew with the couple that i served out of only my desire to serve that i did know going into the relations how they viewed me and they were up front about the fact that they would not/could not love me if that was what i was looking for. viperess slave of CTDOM4sub

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 6:47:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: losttreasure Would you be as bound to your dominant if he or she did not have an emotional investment in you? If they viewed their ownership of you as a purely unemotional relationship and one where you should serve because it is both your place and your agreement? If he or she was ambivalent about whether you love or have any emotional attachment to them, just as long as you abide by your agreement and serve them obediently? if there weren't any emotional attachment to my bond with Daddy, i wouldn't be collared by Him and/or continue my search for someone else. i believe there has to be some type of emotional bond between D/s though not defined as love. also to add - i have been this type of D/s relationship where there was no emotional bond between my former Masters. i was merely used to serve their sexual needs and then dismissed like trash after our session was over. i felt more like a unpaid whore than a submissive to them.

nephandi -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 7:13:27 AM)
i do not need romantical love to serve Master, but i need him to love me, at least as property so yes, i need some emotional investment.

Celeste43 -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 7:15:26 AM)
Hard limit that. I am not the only one risking emotional intimacy here. I can't be. I couldn't let down my defences and trust him if he didn't feel about me the way I feel about him. For me, it's all or nothing.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 8:12:07 AM)
For most, no. For me, yes.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 8:19:55 AM)
No. I need to be able to love. I never asked him to love me in return; only to please accept the love I feel for him. If he had been ambivalent about my feelings toward him, that means he would not really care about owning ALL of me, because he wouldn't be receiving my heart. And I couldn't submit fully to a partial owner. That he loves me in return is icing on the cake, although he rarely expresses it. I can see it in the way he rules me, however, and it draws out the sweetness of my own love. But I was emotionally bound to him before he ever loved me, so that was not an issue in my developing submission. However, I have difficulty understanding a dominant who did not feel SOME sort of emotion toward a submissive who continued to offer him/herself, push him/herself, and strive to please the dom. Whether it is love or some other form of emotion, can someone be so stoic as to be completely unemotional? I suppose so, but that would be a different kind of D/s relationship, and one that would likely not have enough depth to fill my tank.

toservez -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 8:27:18 AM)
For me to commit myself to a long term relationship I would have to know that the other cared for me on a pretty deep level that I could believe would be there for me when/if I get sick or other bad times that life throws at you. My first experience being owned was by a couple and it was a wonderful experience but it was also a known short term relationship (until I finished my education). One of the things that prevented me from wanting to be in another poly situation was that I would struggle in dealing with having to share hearts with another. For me to serve and dedicate myself to a person that has to be there for them to get al of me which is what they deserve. Now the person has to love me is not something I consider have to as I am not sure how one can quantify love or what constitutes it. So for me the word love does not have to be uttered but their affection or need for affection for someone else has to be filled by me.

MsNdsisuv -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 8:34:15 AM)
I have to honestly say here that I am not sure. I began a nilla relationship with my ex. I didn't realize what a Dom he was, he didn't lead on for quite a while. Eventually tho... the emotions of love ran dry ( I don't know how else to explain that) and yet I still found myself serving him on many levels. I wasn't necessarily "in love" yet I was proud of my abilities to still serve well. Eventually things happened, he went away... I found life without him was just as good if not better and then I met Sir. Sir and I have a totally different dynamic and I love serving him. We have very strong emotions for each other. I am much "happier" where I am now. I don't know if it would be the same if there were no emotions.

BitaTruble -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 9:59:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: losttreasure Would you be as bound to your dominant if he or she did not have an emotional investment in you? If they viewed their ownership of you as a purely unemotional relationship and one where you should serve because it is both your place and your agreement? If he or she was ambivalent about whether you love or have any emotional attachment to them, just as long as you abide by your agreement and serve them obediently? A long time ago, in a galaxy far away... ::chuckles:: With my first Master, hell, I didn't even like him. I was bound by my insecurity, naivete, horny fantasy's, low self-esteem and the fact that I viewed his cruel and abusive nature as powerful and being in control. My bad, not his although I actually learned alot (about myself) being in service to him for 3 years. He took total advantage of me, but I also took advantage of him and used him for what I could get, so, he sucked, but I sucked, too. I think he was just as bound albeit for very different reasons as I and those reasons really, if they had anything to do with any sort of positive emotional attachment, I couldn't see it then and in hindsight, over 20 years later, I still can't see it. Staying with him had nothing to do with any agreement between us (we didn't really have one in any event, just sort of fell into things but no negotiation or things of that nature - he gave me a list of what he expected and, well, that was what he expected so that's what happened), I didn't care a fig for him and didn't care if he didn't care a fig for me. I stayed because I didn't like myself enough 'not' to stay. Being bound to someone comes from both sides of the coin, both negative and positive.. the binds can be just as tight if you don't know how to get out of them, don't know you should or just, flat out, don't want to because you think that's all there is for you. Celeste

mixielicous -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 11:30:47 AM)
for Him to be my Master, for a man to OWN me, yes i must love Him. He did not take me, i gave myself to Him as thanks. as my signature implies. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v68/serafiend/slavecopy.jpg thats my thoughts on it. that was made a few months after my collaring.

SusanofO -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 12:48:23 PM)
No. I just couldn't do it. Been there (although it was not a D/s relationship, it was a very significant (or supposed to be) - relationship, and it just hurts me too much. - Susan

AquaticSub -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 1:17:52 PM)
If my dominant did not love me I would not be his. Very simple for me as I desire love most in life.

Littlepita -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 2:07:02 PM)
No

junecleaver -> RE: Would You Be Bound? (2/12/2007 2:25:07 PM)
I would never intentionally choose it, but I would probably remain in the relationship in hopes that they would change their mind.

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