Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

*shakes the general community*


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> *shakes the general community* Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
*shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 8:31:31 AM   
wyldsubmissive


Posts: 157
Joined: 5/7/2005
Status: offline 		WHY MUST I BE 21?

Don't answer, I know. It's because too many people are afraid of underage people getting into munches, play parties and the like.

It's because too many times in the past have BDSM & lifestylers been treated in harsh light.

But its irksome. I thought 18 meant adulthood! Obviously I'm bloody well wrong. I mean, I've got roughly a year away from 21 but I'm American damnit.

By this I mean I want it RIGHT NOW. (Kidding. On some miniscule level.)

I'm sure there are already multiple people who've made posts to this effect, but I shall fall once more into their ranks.

Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of letting my ass into munches... erm, war!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 8:34:58 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Most people want to be safer.  The US is ridiculously irrational in how it limits activities based on age, and somehow by the time most people become older adults, they somehow believe there MUST be some validity to it or else why would it exist?

IMO 18 doesn't mean adulthood.  I personally didn't fully comfortable calling myself a real adult full grown woman until 26. 

I was an adult TECHNICALLY at 18.  And this does carry with it some added responsibilities and rewards.  But it's too risky for most to deal with, too borderline, and instead of working to help the borderlines, most just want to be safe and avoid the risk completely.

Don't worry- plenty of nice people out there love borderline jailbait.  You'll get through it just fine.



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to wyldsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 8:35:11 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		The real reason they don't let you in is because you like AC/DC.

Some groups care, others don't, being in Ohio must really suck!

(in reply to wyldsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 8:37:14 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		LA,

Funny you should mention 26!  That is the age that I think girls start to mature into women, lots of exceptions of course.  They start to switch from choosing assholes to choosing men who treat them well.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 8:37:37 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		one fetish i attended you had to be 21+ because it was held in a club which serves alcohol and Chicago cops would love to bust a place caught serving underage minors at an event like that. it's the same with certain concerts i review - you have to be 21+ because of the venue.  now if it's an "all ages" show (anyone under 21 and 18 can enter), the venue will have special wrist bands signfying who can and cannot have alcoholic drinks.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to wyldsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 8:46:19 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline 		Nine years ago when I had just turned 20 I started a munch because I was tired of not being able to get into stuff or having to pretend I was over 21 (there are ways around it, even when they ask for ID).  It ended up working out quite well for me, because all of the people who were part of the group(s) that I couldn't get into started coming to the munch and thats how I really began meeting people locally (before then I would just go out of state to NYC).

C~


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to wyldsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 9:00:06 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		In Norway you ahve to be of legal age 18 most places but show id unthil you are 23 to avoid minors from getting in places they should not be, problem solved.

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to Wildfleurs)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 9:55:19 AM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross



IMO 18 doesn't mean adulthood.  I personally didn't fully comfortable calling myself a real adult full grown woman until 26. 

I was an adult TECHNICALLY at 18.  And this does carry with it some added responsibilities and rewards.  But it's too risky for most to deal with, too borderline, and instead of working to help the borderlines, most just want to be safe and avoid the risk completely.






Ditto. Just turned 24 this week and still feel like a kid. In the 6 years since I turned 18, I have grown up a LOT and gone through tons of changes.

To the original poster, you can't even begin to imagine how much you'll change between the ages of 18 and say 25. It's amazing. I don't think it's unreasonable for munches and parties to require one to be 21. For one reason, by the time you're 21  you've been in the adult world for 3 years and ought to have a more adult mindset than the average 18yr old. Also for legality reasons, especially if alcohol is present, etc, I think it's definately a good idea.

I'll also ditto Michael on women in their mid 20's finally growing out of unhealthy relationships. I've been in one after another back to back since I was 18 and it's only recently that I've started to understand WHY those guys were assholes, to believe I deserve better, and how to avoid them in the future.





(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 10:01:04 AM   
calicowgirl


Posts: 98
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline 		I wish I knew half now of what I thought I knew when I was 18-21 but can understand the frustration of not being able to be involved with something you feel strongly about. I also completely agree with LA's take on being an adult.

Due to life in general, amount of responsibility etc, I was forced to be an adult very young but didn't start feeling more in control of me until my mid to late 20's and completely comfortable in my own body until I hit 30 when all the real fun began. Of course, just when all that happened, I start over and delved into a lifestyle I had only ever dreamed about. It is like being reborn, a whole new journey where I feel the learning experiences will never end... a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Cali

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 10:14:24 AM   
needdiscipline23


Posts: 106
Joined: 5/14/2005
Status: offline 		Sort of off topic, but I've heard that adolescence doesn't even really end until the early 20s, and it's getting kind of pushed back, particularly as more people sort of "extend" their adolescence by obtaining higher education.

I'm 25, and am much more of an adult now than I was at 18, and 26 sounds just about right to me....I think it's the end of that "early adulthood" stage that is so much like adolescence....I least, I kind of hope it is! :)

(in reply to calicowgirl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 11:02:54 AM   
wyldsubmissive


Posts: 157
Joined: 5/7/2005
Status: offline 		According to random nameless studies most people don't become adults until 30. I mean christ I knew someone who lived with his mother 'til 45. Now he's married and unhappy.

A friend & I (friend is in her 40's) got into a discussion of when a woman feels like she can call herself a woman and no longer a little girl. The opinion of she and I varied because of where we stand in life. I feel that a person can call themselves "adult", "woman", or "man" has reached an emotional and mental height to which they are no longer drug down by everyone around them. One in which they know they can successfully survive on their own, but still admit to needing others. (We're human people.)

*sniffle* And damnit SimplyMichael, I love me some AC/DC. Dare I even utter the name "Bon Scott"?

Thanks for your uh, input. Have a great day everyone!

(in reply to needdiscipline23)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 12:14:55 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I run a munch/BDSM/play group and you don't need to be 21.  You can be 18.  You are an adult and you would be punished as an adult if anything were to happen so I see no reason to limit your age when the law does it for me.

There are groups out there that will allow you to participate.  You just need to look a little harder to find them.

(in reply to wyldsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 12:39:12 PM   
CalliopePurple


Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline 		Since I was 17/18, I've changed a hell of a lot - mostly finally figuring out what in the hell I am and that's it's perfectly fine to want to find people who can relate to what's going on inside my head. Not just talking about the kinky stuff either. I've only recently admitted my gender issues and felt comfortable saying I'm a mostly straight guy born in the wrong body.

But as for the thread - I was annoyed at first too, because the group closer to where I was at the time was 21+. So I looked a little harder and found one that was worth the extra distance since it was 18+. And the one time I went to a play party, it was supposed to be 20+. I talked to the group's leader and asked if it was okay for me to show up since I was a few months away from hitting that point. He didn't mind. Maybe you can find a group with a benevolent head who will allow an exception to the rule?


_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 12:46:43 PM   
wyldsubmissive


Posts: 157
Joined: 5/7/2005
Status: offline 		If I hadn't looked hard enough dearies I wouldn't post. I tend to be thorough in most things. I live in the Ohio area, and alas, quite a few munches/play parties/events/local groups are 21+. They're also more then an hour away. No, I don't limit myself in distance (hell my Mentor lives 4 hours away, but She's special.) I don't quite know about going out of state limits, and recently its also been professed to myself by said Mentor that She doesn't feel comfortable with me attending the aforementioned events without Her. Which is understandable, and means I must work around Her schedule.

Not complaining, merely stating.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 1:53:35 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		Try a TNG branch of a local group?  There is a group near me that is only 21+, but has a sort of off shoot for those who are 18-35. I think it's a tad silly too.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to wyldsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 2:00:59 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		Well the good news is that while you may never grow wiser, you will in fact grow older.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 2:48:10 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		You don't have to be 21 for every group or every munch. Look around, find some TGN groups or some college/university groups, they cater to the 18+ and under 40 crowd.

Find munches and events in restaurants not bars.

If you can't find one, start one!

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to wyldsubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 3:02:13 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline 		You are only about an hour and a half away from Pittsburgh, which at least when I lived there did have 18+ groups.

Plus there is a Colombus chapter of NLA in Ohio - and NLA's membership age is 18 (http://www.nlacolumbus.com/).  I also believe that PEER's membership age is 18 (PEER seems to be based in Cincinnati - http://www.bdsm-peergroup.com/).

You may want to do a little bit more research.

C~

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 2/12/2007 3:03:24 PM >

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 3:44:17 PM   
elderrook


Posts: 93
Joined: 11/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The US is ridiculously irrational in how it limits activities based on age, and somehow by the time most people become older adults, they somehow believe there MUST be some validity to it or else why would it exist?


All too true. I was in the US military service at 18. Isn't it ironic that they think you're old enough to die for your country, but not old enough to enjoy freedom of sexual expression?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: *shakes the general community* - 2/12/2007 3:46:51 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: elderrook

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The US is ridiculously irrational in how it limits activities based on age, and somehow by the time most people become older adults, they somehow believe there MUST be some validity to it or else why would it exist?


All too true. I was in the US military service at 18. Isn't it ironic that they think you're old enough to die for your country, but not old enough to enjoy freedom of sexual expression?


I don't know about others, but I tend to disagree that people should go into the military at 18. I think the age for that should be 21 as well. Let kids be kids before we send them off to die.

(in reply to elderrook)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> *shakes the general community* Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094