RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (Full Version)

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DiurnalVampire -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 5:19:06 PM)

Entering late into the conversation
The depth of submission does not depend on what you are wearing.  It depends on how completely you give yourself to the person you are with. If you enjoy the femenization, the you are not being forced intoit, and therefore it is not heightening your submission by offering something you would never have done without your Domme's instruction.
The act of submitting by engaging in an activity that you would NEVER ever think to have done on your own, jus to amke your Lady hapy, is the depth of submission.  For some, that is being femenized. For others, its acting like an animal, or a baby. There are Mistresses who do not enjoy overpowering someone who doesnt present themselves as a macho man.  There are others that enjoy playing with pretty little boys.
Me, I like femenized, but not sissys.  Yes, there is a difference in my eyes.  I like my pet to be a female, but not a weak-kneed pseudofemale.

DV

And no matter how fememine I ever make my boy, I refuse to put him in a french maids unifrm.  They are so incredibly overused that they have jus lost the appeal for me. They are almost likea uniform for the sissy sub.



BabyNyla -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 5:38:21 PM)

When I dommed I avoided subs who were into CD at any cost.  It was just freaky to me and something I could never and will never accept (personal preference ... so please don't blast me).  And I consider it a kink, not a submissive act.  I think the *depth of submissiveness* is judged by one's behavior ... personality ... characteristics ... etc ... not what fetishes they're into.



DianeB269 -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 5:53:46 PM)

I could never get into training a CD.  When I do a guy in the ass, I want him to look like a man and cry like a bitch.


Diane



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 5:56:30 PM)

I think BabyNyla has a point.  CDing is a kink, not a submissive act.
FORCED femme is a submissive act, but it has to be forced by the Domme on the male sub.  Not the other way around. If you have to request it, it sint forced.

DV



SweetDommes -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 6:34:17 PM)

Heather, not only am I aware of the fact that there are transgenders out there who are pre-/post-/not going to-op, but I happen to have a few friends who fall into that catagory (two m-to-f and one f-to-m, all pre-op, one m-to-f post-op).  I do not at all equate someone who is transgendered to those who crossdress.  The reasoning behind the acts are completely different, the attitudes behind the acts are completely different, and the meanings of the acts are completely different.  Please do not take offense at my criticism of the OP, because it was not intended towards you or other transgendered people out there.  My criticism of him is that he wants to be "forced" to do it because he feels it's the ultimate in submission ... but if he wants to be forced, then it isn't very forced and thus, IMO, isn't very submissive.

The fact that you feel more submissive while in women's clothing may be because you feel more comfortable in women's clothing overall, so you can be more comfortable in your submission ... not because of any association between women's garments and submission (just a thought ...).



porthuronsub -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 6:38:12 PM)

I was just wondering if Lorelei knows she has a bird sitting on her head????  Isn't supposed to be on your shoulder....   lol



Jeniluscious -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 6:40:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

Sweet Dommes,
I also don't know how you can say that what you wear is "inconsequential."    For me, and I can't believe I'm alone in this, what you wear (or don't wear) adds to the sheer sensuality of the erotic act.    Tight or loose clothing, frothy frills or severe leather, naked or dressed, etc seem to me to be central to the whole...project.


You're talking about scening, which is ephemeral; they speak of life, which is not.



cloudboy -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 7:17:30 PM)


My best friend and I were driving home from a hike when I said to him, "I love athletic girls."

He replied, "I find them a turnoff."

There's no "explanation" for either him or me.

I'm lucky, my mistress is lean and muscular.



cloudboy -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 7:27:21 PM)


I think some contributors to this thread assume that a person's body determines their gender, the same way fundamentalists see someone's body as determining their sexual orientation.




MzMia -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 7:58:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

I could never get into training a CD.  When I do a guy in the ass, I want him to look like a man and cry like a bitch.


Diane


That was eloquently stated!!! yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hawwwwwwwwwww[:D]



MzMia -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 8:01:31 PM)

I have nothing against sissies.  But the ones I have talked to I have found were very self-absorbed
and spent more time in the mirror than me. I am looking for a submissive not a self-centered biatch.
Also, I enjoy forced femme to humilate, I don't look for a submissive that dictates what he IS.
Again, as it was stated most cd's fall into the category of bottoms.
Many Dommes seek someone to do as they say, not as you want.



maidheather -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 8:15:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

Heather, not only am I aware of the fact that there are transgenders out there who are pre-/post-/not going to-op, but I happen to have a few friends ...

The fact that you feel more submissive while in women's clothing may be because you feel more comfortable in women's clothing overall, so you can be more comfortable in your submission ... not because of any association between women's garments and submission (just a thought ...).


i never meant to make any accusations or anything in that way toward you or anyone else. My main intent was to throw the idea out there that there is more than one type of sissy out there, and that not everyone in that position lets their desires rule the situation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
I think some contributors to this thread assume that a person's body determines their gender, the same way fundamentalists see someone's body as determining their sexual orientation.


Thank you very much cloudboy, you've quite eloquently summed up what i was thinking of. i try to do what i can to help people understand what people like myself go through on a regular basis, both in the lifestyle as well as in the 'vanilla' world

on a side note, isn't it wierd that there no trans switch option on collarme? i mean, there's male sub/switch/dom, and female sub/switch/dom, but when it comes to trans, it's only sub/dom ... strange ...



Najakcharmer -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 8:18:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43

But Misstoyou, isn't that the central paradox here?   I want a mistress who wants to do to me what I want done to me, but if I tell her what I want then I've spoiled the possibility of something new and, I assume, the dom is no longer dom if she's working from my script.


You pretty much captured it in a nutshell there.  Sucks to be you, doesn't it?  Sorry 'bout that.  Having a strong sexual fetish isn't necessarily a good selling point for any would-be submissive, but it's how you relate to a potential dominant that will determine whether or not you can find a partner.

The only times I've seen a situation like this work out is when the fetish-oriented sub in question is willing to pursue his relationship with a dominant as a relationship to a human being involving negotiation and compromise.  Eg, he has to be flexible enough to be willing to play in other modes than "forced femme" some of the time if not most of the time.  Someone who can only submit or only relate to a dominant woman when she is doing exactly what he wants is a) not a submissive and b) likely to remain single.

If I liked somebody, had a lot in common with them and generally thought they were fun and sexy to play with, I wouldn't mind indulging their fetish because I enjoyed pushing their buttons.  I would get annoyed and/or bored in short order if they were totally inflexible about playing any other way however.  I would probably indulge in his particular fetish more often than not simply because I enjoyed the intense reaction, but if I ever felt pushed into it or stuck with it, the appeal would definitely be gone. 

If I don't like somebody, don't have a lot in common with them and they act like a selfish ass and try to unilaterally dictate how and when we are going to play, we aren't playing.  Or if they treat me like a fetish object to use for their gratification rather than as a human being with her own wants, needs, desires and feelings.  It really boils down to who somebody is as a person and how they treat me as a person.  It's okay to have a fetish, but it's not okay to be rude, self-absorbed or inflexible about it.  Which, unfortunately, a lot of guys with fetishes are.  So if you're not that way, then look on the bright side; you're already ahead of the game. 






Highheelfetish20 -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 8:20:27 PM)

Rotlfmao. Now there's a laugh .  either you have a mental predisposition  to lie or your just self preserving here because your a miserable fucker like 50 percent of us here and you know shit well you dont have anyone thats why your here hanging out with the rest of us!!!!!!!!  "I'm lucky, my mistress is lean and muscular. "   :lmao:

Forgive the run-on sentence. Poor gramar isn't always a sign of sterility, you know.
:sizzle noise:



cloudboy -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 8:40:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer


If I don't like somebody, don't have a lot in common with them and they act like a selfish ass and try to unilaterally dictate how and when ......... Or if they treat me like a fetish object to use for their gratification rather than as a human being with her own wants, needs, desires and feelings.


Jeeze!! Quit beating around the bush and just call me out by name, why-don't-ya!

quote:

Highheelfetish20:
Rotlfmao. Now there's a laugh . either you have a mental predisposition to lie or your just self preserving here because your a miserable fucker like 50 percent of us here and you know shit well you dont have anyone thats why your here hanging out with the rest of us!!!!!!!!


Strikes one, two, and three.

Not wise to sling such shit well into your fourth or fifth post, its a bit unbecoming.



Najakcharmer -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 8:45:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
Jeeze!! Quit beating around the bush and just call me out by name, why-don't-ya!


Okay, I will admit that the last scene we did where you  insisted on the use of the turkey baster and the feather duster AT THE SAME TIME was pretty much the last straw.  I mean, really.  A double decker bicycle is hard enough to balance on while wearing high heels, without all the added accessories.  You have absolutely got to stop dictating our scenes like that.



BabyNyla -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 8:50:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I think BabyNyla has a point.  CDing is a kink, not a submissive act.
FORCED femme is a submissive act, but it has to be forced by the Domme on the male sub.  Not the other way around. If you have to request it, it sint forced.

DV

 
I always knew I liked you :D ... damn good taste in agreeing with me ... hehe [:)]



BabyNyla -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 8:51:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: porthuronsub

I was just wondering if Lorelei knows she has a bird sitting on her head????  Isn't supposed to be on your shoulder....   lol


 
I am actually relieved she put that pic back up ... it's tooooooooo cute not too



undergroundsea -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 10:14:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: skirtboy43
But Misstoyou, isn't that the central paradox here?   I want a mistress who wants to do to me what I want done to me, but if I tell her what I want then I've spoiled the possibility of something new and, I assume, the dom is no longer dom if she's working from my script.


I understand what you mean about finding the dominance more exciting without saying what pushes your buttons.

I have come to see it a different way. I think it is not necessarily a script if the domme enjoys the common activity. Subs enjoy many activities common in BDSM because these activities represent submission. Dommes enjoy many activities common in BDSM because they represent dominance. I think BDSM compatibility entails finding someone whose ideas for expression of dominance and submission are similar. That is, a sub who finds humiliation to be an expression of the respective dominant and submissive roles has an area of compatibility with a domme who feels the same way about humiliation.

Cheers,

Sea



undergroundsea -> RE: Why don't doms like sissies? (2/12/2007 10:28:42 PM)

In my opinion, wanting submission to be based on certain activities (expressions of dominance and submission) does not necessarily make one a bottom or a fetishist. I think the whole distinction between bottom, submissive, and fetishist is complex because a given act could be each, and a given person could be each.

Cheers,

Sea



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