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Voltare -> RE: Putting it straight AGAIN (3/14/2005 1:14:01 PM)
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Will keep this short, as I think Taggard's doing a good job of posting my views.
I don't think there is anything at all wrong with the opening poster posting her views. I think it's great that she has a strong opinion on the issue, and though I believe her way of thinking is based on a flawed perspective I don't think any less of her for expressing it.
Riotgirl, if you feel so strongly on the issue, why post in such an aggressive fashion? If the issue is something that makes you angry enough to write about it, why not try and influence change instead of ranting? Lots of people would agree with you, for the reasons you listed. Ranting might make you feel better, but it also alienates the people who you would otherwise try to be helping?
There's a lot of bad things done in the world. When you drive five miles over the speed limit, you're breaking the law. In many states, having oral sex is against the law. God help people who have sex with someone who is of the same sex. Cheating is hardly a black and white issue, because what one person considers cheating might not be the same as another. Kissing could be considered cheating right? Imagine how a man would laugh if the wife sued for divorce, because he was caught kissing... his mother! The same way he has since he was six years old.
I'm the first to say that people who are cheating are playing with fire. They are usually doing things that are potentially dangerous to themselves, their spouses, their children, etc etc. I also know that they have their own gods and higher powers to answer to, not me. My biggest issue with cheating is that in the end, the person doing it could be living a far more satisfying and enjoyable life if they came clean with their primary partner, and took a firm grip on their own lives. If the person they married loves them, they should do their best to support and love. If they do not, there's a good chance the relationship is doomed anyway, and best put out of it's misery. Unfortunately, neither situations are black and white.
At the same time, no one situation is different. Do we consider BDSM 'interaction' to be cheating? If (more common for male submissives/slaves) the Ms relationship is strictly non-sexual in nature, does it cross the boundry? Is a man who goes to a Dominatrix because his wife is intolerant of anything BDSM cheating (considering most Pro's have a completely no-sex policy?)
The issue isn't really about cheating. It's about trust. I have the trust of my partner to do certain things, and not to do certain things, things that we both agreed on in the beginning. If I break her trust, or she breaks mine, it is an issue for her and I. No amount of preaching or brimstone and fire will make my situation any better or worse.
Stephan
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