Bridging the Gap

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Bridging the Gap - 3/14/2005 11:25:39 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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In going over recent threads I see that there is a very real division between “old school” and “new school”. It seems that on both sides there is a bit of animosity and resentment. I think that seeing there is an issue is the first step in addressing it. I would like to propose that we discuss what it is about the opposite school of thought that makes us react in the ways that we do. Maybe by putting it out here in an open forum, we can take a few steps closer to bridging that gap.

I, personally, am from the “old school” of thought. I think that it is very important that we hear and acknowledge the concerns of each other for the survival of the community as a whole. I do not wish to discount the thoughts, feelings, opinions or ideas of the newer people as I believe we have a lot that we can learn from them. My own Sir has far less experience than myself and I learn new things from Him every single day. I also believe that it is important for us who have been here a number of years to share our ways with the new folks. If we can open those lines of communication it will only serve to better each and every one of us. In order for this exchange to occur, we all have to be open to hearing what the concerns of the other group are.

I will try to address the perspective of the “old schoolers” as it is the one that I know. What I say here are my opinions and not necessarily the opinions of all “old schoolers”. I would like others to chime in with their views….both “new” and “old”. Please though…let’s all try to remember that there are actual human beings with feelings behind these typewritten words.

I don’t have issues with “new schoolers” just because they are new. I was new at one time too…we all were. I welcome new people to this lifestyle (for lack of a better term) as it is a wonderful journey. I love the enthusiasm of the new, the fresh ideas, the different perspectives as a whole.

Where I have an issue is with some “new schoolers”, and I am not implying that all are like this, that come into this with an attitude of knowing it all. They read some websites, a book or two, talked online to a few Doms….maybe even gotten into a few good scenes. Generally they are those with less than a year or so of experience. I kind of liken it to someone who would profess to be an expert at calculus based solely upon the fact that they passed first grade math. They are unwilling to hear about or discuss the old ways because they think they are outdated and archaic. Well to that I would have to say that sometimes old ideas can be pretty good ones…..I mean the wheel was a great invention, was it not?

I have personally had quite a number of instances where a new submissive or slave has told me that the way I do things are wrong because she read on Castle Realm….or her online Dom said…without even considering the fact that I just might be a bit farther along on this journey than she. When someone new comes out and self professes themselves to be sub/slave/Dominant/Master, with little or no experience, it is hard for us who have been here and paid heavy dues to take. If “sally” declares herself “slave” and expects to be seen on the exact same level as someone like myself who has been here many years, working hard to earn the right to call myself such…..does that invalidate where I have been and what I have gone through to get here? Does it cheapen who I am? I mean I have worked really hard….now you’re telling me that I could get the same level of respect just by a mere declaration of words?

Rituals meant something, collars meant something, the labels we identify ourselves with meant something. Everything was based on the principles of honor, integrity, respect and responsibility. Today we see that all of those things are losing their meaning. There is a sadness on our part to see those things lost. Throughout time, one generation has passed their knowledge to the generation behind them. Is it so wrong that we wish to attempt to do the same?

I don’t wish to cram anything down anyone’s throat, or make them conform to my ideals. I just wish them to be open minded enough to hear me. To try to understand the perspective I come from and to acknowledge my efforts instead of invalidating them or telling me that it all meant nothing. I would expect that the argument from the “new school” side will be very much the same.

These are some of the reasons I see for the division between the two groups. I am very interested in hearing the thoughts of both “old” and “new” schoolers alike. Let’s see if we can find common ground.

*Once again....these are just my opinions....I am not asking that anyone be in agreement....nor is it my intent to offend anyone by them*

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"