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I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 12:32:18 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		Well, I think today's the last day for us on CollarMe. Saturday we tried to log in and found the site unavailable from our house. At first thought it was a virus, or a glitch in our computer. Then I thought to blame beth or her daughter for changing the Internet settings. After-all I couldn't have made a mistake!!! But today from the office I see that it may be that beth's post concerning the marital infidelity may have been a "Mortal Sin" on CollarMe.

At first I thought beth should apologize, as the poster suggested in her quick post to the thread concerning the Vegas trip we have been trying to organize. But I'll make beth apologize after the poster apologizes to the wife of the husband with which she is cheating. Her and her children deserve it much more than the poster.

Have we really gone so far down hill as a society that we can rationalize EVERY failure to honor commitment, every disregard to another's vows? Must a group always stand up and justify? Are we so unfamiliar with honor not to know it?

Re-reading the post in question, I didn't see it as a personal attack. It was a generalization. It wasn't directed to people who get involved with married people without knowing they were married. Losers who talk on-line with people and form friendships that could evolve in relationships without indicating their relationship status are the modern version of those who put their wedding ring in their pocket when they go on a business trip or walk into a bar. When you KNOW the status of the person you either sink to their level or rise above it. We are not talking about a case where ALL parties know about the other. By the mere fact that there are "stolen moments" where he contacted her indicates compliance. beth was taking the case of the person who had them stolen. For that I am proud of her. If I would have posted, the same point would have been albeit with sarcasm and an attempt at wit. I may have referenced crossing you fingers when you said that part of the wedding vow. Or compared infidelity to going out for pizza if you are fed gourmet steak every night. But beth said it from her heart. Said what she said from a point of view that I don't have life experience. I'll tell you what - I'll never joke about non-consensual infidelity or take it lightly again. I'd much rather defend and support beth's position.

I am proud and happy to know that my beth has morals and convictions and is strong enough to say them. she will NOT be apologizing. Some things ARE "black & white", behavior is "right or wrong". No apologies should be needed when you point this out.

I/we've had fun at CollerMe. We've laughed, learned, and more importantly made a lot of friends. I'll have to pass the baton regarding Vegas to Lil. If we are gone from CollarMe I'm sure she can carry one. She has all the current information. We'll still be there!

As far as the banning goes - so be it. First and foremost I am a rules person, and if the people making the rules interpret beth's remarks as inflammatory I'll not debate their decision. The complaining person's opinions have no more weight then ours, and if the Mods decision based on them is to rule we don't deserve to post, we will honor it. I'm sure once the Mods see this ISP (?) location it too will be prohibited from accessing the site. Before that happens I hope some of you get to see this post.

Be safe!

Have FUN!

And if you can't do both - always pick the later.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 12:42:03 PM   
quietkitten


Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline 		I seriously hope you are kidding!

beth... I always love your posts, and have never ever had any reason to feel you were attacking anyone, in fact you have been supportive to me several times and I will really miss that.

_____________________________

The number 1 cause of stress is reality.

I miss my old Avatar :(

<< I am a depressed procrastinator with Alzheimers -- I am going to end it all.... tomorrow... or the next day.

Now what was I talking about again?

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 12:46:48 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

As far as the banning goes - so be it. First and foremost I am a rules person, and if the people making the rules interpret beth's remarks as inflammatory I'll not debate their decision. The complaining person's opinions have no more weight then ours, and if the Mods decision based on them is to rule we don't deserve to post, we will honor it. I'm sure once the Mods see this ISP (?) location it too will be prohibited from accessing the site. Before that happens I hope some of you get to see this post.



This really doesn't sound the like CollarMe MO. They are really good about giving warnings, then time-outs, and, if all else fails, finally resorting to bannings.

If you didn't get a warning message, I am sure it is just some glitch...

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 12:47:15 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I am speechless!. I certainly hope that you are wrong and there is some glitch.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 12:55:38 PM   
Guest
 Nah, if you were banned this post wouldn't have shown up :)

Even banned, one can read the forums , one just cannot post to them. I suspect you were having server issues or some other glitch. It has happened to me at times as well.

As Taggard pointed out, a Mod will generally contact you and either give a warning or put you on temporary moderation (meaning your posts during the time frame need to be approved) well before taking the step to ban someone outright.

Also, I did not see Beth's post as a personal attack directed at an individual either, but rather as a broad generalization. If other mods thought otherwise you would have received a warning. via email. Also, a ntoe to any who may be reading this. Occasionally, an email from a moderator may end up in your bulk email folder (a rare glitch being worked out).

Stick around.

Mod5

< Message edited by ModeratorFive -- 3/14/2005 12:58:04 PM >

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
  Post #: 5
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 12:56:33 PM   
quietkitten


Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline 		* audible sigh of relief

_____________________________

The number 1 cause of stress is reality.

I miss my old Avatar :(

<< I am a depressed procrastinator with Alzheimers -- I am going to end it all.... tomorrow... or the next day.

Now what was I talking about again?

(in reply to Guest)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 12:56:59 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Thank Goodness!

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Guest)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 12:57:43 PM   
January


Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline 		Banned for just a day? No way.

The Moderators would give you warning. I think the Mods were taking a bit of time off this weekend, which is why chaos, Riots and flames ruled.

Believe me, I said way worse to our Fragile drama queen, and I'm not banned yet. (Well, the thread got sent to Siberia, but I didn't.) By the way, Fragile is still lurking, presumably enjoying the stench of flamed hair.

January

_____________________________

[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]




(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 1:04:34 PM   
Guest
quote:

The Moderators would give you warning. I think the Mods were taking a bit of time off this weekend, which is why chaos, Riots and flames ruled.


Nah, we were around, it's just that sometimes it's better to allow you to work it out amongst yourselves, at least while the flaming isn't out of hand. Nobody (members, owners or moderators) wants collarme to become a sterile environment where only one POV is allowed. We also understand that reasoned discourse can quickly degenerate, but more often than not it can just as quickly return to some semblance of civility.

Of course when the thread gets out of hand (or there is a repeat offender who doesn't take hints to heart) we'll jump on a thread ASAP.

I prefer to think of us Moderators as community lifeguards rather than the gestapo, afterall we're volunteering our time because we like it here too.

Mod5

< Message edited by ModeratorFive -- 3/14/2005 1:08:44 PM >

(in reply to January)
  Post #: 9
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 1:05:33 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Nah, if you were banned this post wouldn't have shown up :)


Sorry Mod 5,

See what assuming will do to you!

Okay so now it's obvious I must punish beth. I can beat beth severely with the cane because she or her daughter, who had beth's permission to use our home PC, made me miss out on my favorite site all weekend!

beth already tried re-booting 10 or 20 times after running the virus scan. Also verified the cookie acceptance. she even did a restore back to Friday with no luck.

Can any experts out there help her from being too sore to sit down all week?

(in reply to Guest)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 1:11:47 PM   
Guest
quote:

Can any experts out there help her from being too sore to sit down all week?


why, pray tell, would we do that? <wink>

Actually, I'm not techno savvy. Usually a reboot helps me when I have issues. Hope somone else can offer a suggestion to save beth's behind lol.

Mod5

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
  Post #: 11
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 1:25:11 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorFive

quote:

Can any experts out there help her from being too sore to sit down all week?


why, pray tell, would we do that? <wink>



You know, that was my first thought as well. Not being much of a pain player, I do tend to enjoy a vicarious thrill when someone I know gets a nice sore bottom.

That said, I would be happy to offer my help if it will get Mercnbeth back online...perhaps when I get home we can IM while you try to connect???

I will be home a bit after 5pm Eastern.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to Guest)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 1:57:42 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

You know, that was my first thought as well. Not being much of a pain player, I do tend to enjoy a vicarious thrill when someone I know gets a nice sore bottom.


Okay then for incentive to you "perverts" out there who want to see beth's ass reddened. I'll send pics to the first person who gets the damn thing working again! Unless you think it would be more appropriate to post at least one of them to the group?

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 2:16:15 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		I certainly hope you're wrong!
I will be chatting with you two/emailing on yahoo though.
Hey Beth, I was having visions of meeting you two in vegas, being in some fun place with good music, and borrowing Merc to see if he can get down? Would you lend him for a boogiedown? Or you and I could make a Merc sandwich? LOL....

I'm not sure I'll be making it to Vegas but I will definitely come and meet you guys one day probably in next few months. M

OK, read the rest/mods responses, sighs with relief...

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 3/14/2005 2:19:00 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 2:16:54 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
I am glad that Mercnbeth aren't going.
They allow some great debates to occur.
I love learning from them!
*Angel student.... lol*

I am also glad that fragile is still hanging out.
It is good to see that she is above the flames and hasn't submitted to other people fears, hate and judgements.

Peace and Love

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to January)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 2:32:57 PM   
FragileRose


Posts: 58
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		You failed to say that Fragile Rose herself sent Beth a personal email with the following statement: "You are truly great to speak your mind, and it is clear that you exert leadership within the community of people that you come in contact with."

I only wanted an apology for being called a bitch. Even if it referred to someone else, the language was absolutely infammatory.

As to January, how do you know that I have any hair? As far you as you know, I am already bald. Maybe toothless, too, from eating your word candy. It is amazing that you believe you or anyone else could actually burn off my hair with your rude posturing. Count yourself again, darling.



< Message edited by FragileRose -- 3/14/2005 2:41:35 PM >

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 2:42:16 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		"crystal" rose,

Did your make believe master approve this post or will it too, like the others, be removed once you experience ridicule?

I extend my apologies to all the female dogs in the world for them to be included in a word that beth used to describe you. It wasn't beth's intent to denigrate them or their natural instincts.

(in reply to FragileRose)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 3:01:21 PM   
FragileRose


Posts: 58
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		I cannot help your expression of hostility in response to my post. You are absolutely obscuring the fact that I did in fact express admiration for Beth and her leadership.

Since this post has nothing to do with my Dear Master, it will remain here. It will be a reminder that you are only telling part of the story. For someone who loves moral clarity, aren't you the profound thinker?


(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 3:20:02 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Nah, if you were banned this post wouldn't have shown up :)


Precisely, if you seriously thought you were banned you would have contacted one of the mod's not posted to the message board.

Common sense people, common sense.

(in reply to Guest)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: I/we Think We Are Banned - 3/14/2005 3:29:48 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Since this post has nothing to do with my Dear Master, it will remain here.


True to the name. "...a rationalization by any other name would smell as sweet."

quote:

aren't you the profound thinker?


I attempt to be. Thank you for appreciating and noticing.

OKAY "Evil Merc" back in the box!!

It would have been too easy to have left this post as it appears above. Since you challenge me for full disclosure I'll start with this, the first correspondence we sent you.
quote:

Just wanted to drop you a personal note filled with best wishes. As we posted on the thread you started, we hope you use this Internet awakening to find real fulfillment. Good luck! TRUST your instincts!


It's not the entire post, I eliminated the part where beth and I offered our direct email and IM names so in case you had any questions you wouldn't have to come onto the site.

Of course after you were "attacked" by beth and continued pose as the injured party for the others at this site, beth replied independently with this vicious diatribe. This one is in it's entirety.

quote:

just wanted you to know, this slave thought in the beginning that you were in the process of making a future with this man. it is evident through your subsequent posts that this is not the case. this slave was cheated on numerous times in her marriage and very few if any of those times actually included sex. none of the liaisons this slave's ex-husband made did anything but demoralize him further to the point of which he lost his job, his wife, his kids and eventually his self-respect. it has taken many years to be able to even trust him with the kids and has cost the children much to have been dragged along with that situation. the damage to his kids and his wife is real every time he cheats. sorry that is this slave's harsh opinion, but it really hurt that the bitch at the center of it was so flippant about the damage that was done once confronted. hope you make it to Vegas. it would be very interesting to meet you in person.

We still have the same best wishes for you. We still see you as a victim. Not of words or your feelings about words, or the interpretation of words, but of of a selfish, egocentric man. There is a crime here that your original message is lost. You said you were ready to move on and gave indications that you recognized your current situation as a dead end. Very early in your original thread I rationalized that if your married Internet partner accomplished that for you, you should be grateful to him.

All that is lost now because the focus is on the worst method of communication know to man - the written word. Know this Rose, if you did decide to come to Vegas, you would be welcome with open arms by me, beth and and I'm sure everyone else there. You'd have a GREAT time. More heated arguments and debate then the subject of this one have occurred between many of the people committed to attending. I think that meeting and getting to know the people who will be there can accomplish more in those 2-3 days then anyone reading bulletin boards from now until eternity. I sincerely hope you still consider it.

(in reply to FragileRose)
Profile   Post #: 20
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