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juliaoceania -> RE: Too prideful to say your safeword? (2/19/2007 8:03:39 PM)
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You know, I do not get the emotionality of safewords and whether or not they are used. Up until very recently I used safewords as I felt was necessary, I still have them to use if I feel the need for them. The last time I was with my Daddy I could not say my safeword, he saw this from my responses to him, and he stopped. It was not pride that stopped me from saying it, something broke inside of me that just put me under his complete mercy... it was a "moment" in my submission to him and in his dominance over me. I do not know if I will ever be able to use a safeword, because something changed that night in me in relation to him. But that does not mean I think less of having safewords between a couple, especially as they learn each other.
I do not think that there is anything about using or not using a safeword that should be about esteem. If one's esteem is so wrapped up in the use of safewords, their submission so tied up in it, their dominance so threatened by it, well lets just say if I was suddenly looking for a dom I would avoid doms that made it an emotional issue. It is just a word after all. Just a tool. It is not the only tool, it is not the best tool for everyone, but it is just a tool.
I now know for myself that one can get to the point where their safeword is meaningless in the context of their relationship... but I do not get the concept of refusing to use a word that was set up to keep me from being hurt out of "pride", pride is called foolish for a reason. There are many reasons one may get into a headspace that their safeword is meaningless, pride is just one of the stupid ones in my opinion.
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