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submissive mentoring - 3/15/2005 6:41:39 PM   
toywill


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Joined: 2/23/2005
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wondering what it encurtails from a Mistress to mentor a submissive..

thanks toywill
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RE: submissive mentoring - 3/16/2005 12:04:14 AM   
BeachMystress


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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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A sub should be mentored by a sub. While a Dom/me can direct them where to look for material and hold their hand through certain things, there are issues that come up in submission that a Dominant can't really address unless they were a sub themselves at one time. In that case, I think the Dominant can help in a general sense, but still an active submissive mentor is a much better idea.

When a Dominant mentors a sub, there is too much cross over with the submissive wanting to assume the Dom/me is their Dom/me. In truth, since what most Dominants do when "mentoring" a sub is set tasks for the sub, such as reading or journals, it is a pseudo form of Domination. When I've been asked to mentor a sub, I pretty much give them a bunch of links, tell them to read them if they'd like to learn and hold their hand while I look for a submissive I trust to take over.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

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RE: submissive mentoring - 3/16/2005 4:43:44 AM   
LadyAngelika


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You might be interested to know that there is an active thread going on in the General BDSM Forum entitled Mentoring a submissive that deals exactly with this subject.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: submissive mentoring - 3/23/2005 11:21:28 AM   
croppuser


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Joined: 3/23/2005
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I receive quite a bit of mentoring from the woman who spanks and paddles me... I am not really submissive, but accept mu need and craving for discipline. She is mentoring me about my tendency to overeat and to procrastinate... we see some progress. And after the last session, I really felt the sensation of her cane every time I looked at a danish or a cookie for a week.
A. (croppuser)

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RE: submissive mentoring - 3/23/2005 1:16:31 PM   
BeachMystress


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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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How is she mentoring you rather than Dominating you over this? If any control is being exerted, it is Domination.

quote:

ORIGINAL: croppuser

And after the last session, I really felt the sensation of her cane every time I looked at a danish or a cookie for a week.


She used discipline to modify your behaviour. She is making you behave how she wants via punishment. A mentor isn't there to control you; they are there to guide you. If your relationship works for you, great. It isn't mentorship. It is Domination.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to croppuser)
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RE: submissive mentoring - 3/23/2005 6:29:11 PM   
WillfulSurrender


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/27/2004
From: Warm, Beautiful, Historic Charleston, SC
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Bonjour and Thank you Lady Angelika, for the link.

As a new sub seeking mentoring or training while I gather experience and self knowedge, (ultimately seeking a loving LTR), that string will be very helpful for me.

En passant, je viens de St Sauveur Des Monts dans les Laurentides:).....Moved to Charleston SC in 1998.

(French, for anyone wondering thinking poor spelling traits)...

Tony

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RE: submissive mentoring - 3/24/2005 10:49:24 AM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress


A sub should be mentored by a sub. While a Dom/me can direct them where to look for material and hold their hand through certain things, there are issues that come up in submission that a Dominant can't really address unless they were a sub themselves at one time. In that case, I think the Dominant can help in a general sense, but still an active submissive mentor is a much better idea.

When a Dominant mentors a sub, there is too much cross over with the submissive wanting to assume the Dom/me is their Dom/me. In truth, since what most Dominants do when "mentoring" a sub is set tasks for the sub, such as reading or journals, it is a pseudo form of Domination. When I've been asked to mentor a sub, I pretty much give them a bunch of links, tell them to read them if they'd like to learn and hold their hand while I look for a submissive I trust to take over.


In my experiences, especially online, male subs don't interact very much with male subs. The idea of one mentoring another seems foreign. You might have 10 male subs in a chatroom and no one types a thing to each other, not even small talk (let alone discussions of real life issues and giving each other advice) until a femdom enters. The same is true for some bdsm parties; the subs just wait for the femdoms to arrive and all put their attention on her. It is as if a male sub does not have much to offer a male a sub.

Then there are a few subs that really break the mold and are aggressive and take initiative to talk with other subs about their experiences.

If a "mentoring service" was offered for free to any male sub who wanted to learn how to meet, court, charm, earn respect from and be dominated by a femdom I think they would sign up in droves. If they found out their "teacher" was another male sub -- well, their fantasy is out the window. They want to be taught by a woman. It's much more of a turn on.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to BeachMystress)
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