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Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 7:16:44 AM   
theGuideGoddess


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It is here on collarme that I one fine winter day I received an email for a request of servitude.  This man came to me with the presentation of a life long desire to be a slave.  We experienced an immediate and deep connection.  Since that time he has spent much time struggling with his inner self and his ability to be a dominant man and a slave at the same time.  I am of the belief that to be a slave requires a great deal of strength and isn't a task for the weak.
 
Now I am also of the belief that life is built on the 'gotta wanta' principal.  If you got the wanta you can do just about anything.  However if you ain't got the wanta you simply ain't gonna.
 
So here is the question:  can a dominant personality become a good slave??
 
http://theguidinggoddess.com 

< Message edited by theGuideGoddess -- 2/18/2007 7:21:04 AM >
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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 7:21:35 AM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
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Status: offline 		I have heard of one or two cases, it seems to be a rare occurrence.

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 7:28:45 AM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		I think an interest in submission is independent of personality. I see many submissives or slaves with strong, driven personalities. Being accustomed to having one's way may create a challenge, but I think it is possible for a dominant personality to become a slave.

Cheers,

Sea

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 7:31:10 AM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
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Status: offline 		That certainly can be true Sea, but again it is very rare.  The ones that could become a slave,
probably were not hard wired to be Dominant in the long run.  Many of these strong willed
slaves are not slaves IMHO, they are bottoms.
By definition, submission and slavery takes away willfullness.

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 7:31:38 AM   
DragonXPhoenix


Posts: 40
Joined: 2/9/2007
Status: offline 		hmmmm.  Is he dominant in daily life such as work?  I think this is common.  Dominant in work, but wanting to be sub in his off duty time.

Or are you talking strictly in the bedroom, meaning he is by nature Dom there, but has an inner desire to be sub?  I would consider him a switch then.

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 7:34:03 AM   
VeryMercurial


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Status: offline 		I was thinking switch myself, not hardwired to be a slave.

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 7:35:22 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
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Status: offline 		I think there is a difference between personality, social expectations, and Ds.

I personally think that someone who is dominant as part of their character would not do well in a submissive or slave position. If circumstances forced them into this role (capture in warfare for example) they would either try to escape or they would find a way to work to the top of any social hierarchy they could find.

However we are often raised to be dominant or submissive or neither or both by parents or society. My family certainly tried to make me the proper sub woman -- it failed happily because it was just too different from my personality. So someone could seem to be one thing because they were raised this way.

Finally Ds as part of BDSM is not the same as the rest of societies hierarchies. Most of the time we do things to survive or to get ahead in the mundane world. I think in Ds that most of us do this is something we do for our personal enjoyment and often we must fight the social training we have because it isn't seen as "normal" by the world around us.

Hope that made sense.

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 7:38:49 AM   
GuidingLite


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Status: offline 		VM you make a good point.

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 7:42:24 AM   
GuidingLite


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Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline 		A dominant personality couild THINK she wanted to be a slave but  that would never work.  A bottom yes, a slave never.

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 7:45:40 AM   
VeryMercurial


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite

A dominant personality couild THINK she wanted to be a slave but  that would never work.  A bottom yes, a slave never.


Funny GuidingLite, that sounds like most of the male submissive and male slaves on CM.  They think they are submissive,
but they are bottoms.

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 7:49:09 AM   
GuidingLite


Posts: 233
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Status: offline 		Your one hundred percent right.

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 8:39:57 AM   
porthuronsub


Posts: 339
Joined: 4/26/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: theGuideGoddess


It is here on collarme that I one fine winter day I received an email for a request of servitude.  This man came to me with the presentation of a life long desire to be a slave.  We experienced an immediate and deep connection.  Since that time he has spent much time struggling with his inner self and his ability to be a dominant man and a slave at the same time.  I am of the belief that to be a slave requires a great deal of strength and isn't a task for the weak.
 
Now I am also of the belief that life is built on the 'gotta wanta' principal.  If you got the wanta you can do just about anything.  However if you ain't got the wanta you simply ain't gonna.
 
So here is the question:  can a dominant personality become a good slave??
 
http://theguidinggoddess.com 


I sent you a message on the other side. 

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 8:45:29 AM   
cjenny


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonXPhoenix

hmmmm.  Is he dominant in daily life such as work?  I think this is common.  Dominant in work, but wanting to be sub in his off duty time.

Or are you talking strictly in the bedroom, meaning he is by nature Dom there, but has an inner desire to be sub?  I would consider him a switch then.


I wondered this as well. Many subs hold jobs that require a dominant and strong personality, yet that doesn't make them less of a sub.
Many have told me that in the workplace I have strong leadership & training skills but I am still and always will be submissive.
It just makes it more interesting (read harder lol) to be submissive but it can be and very frequently is done.
Are submissives supposed to be meek and of moldable personality only? Is that the One Twue Way?

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 9:51:11 AM   
Stephann


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From: Portland, OR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite

A dominant personality couild THINK she wanted to be a slave but  that would never work.  A bottom yes, a slave never.


This will sound crass, it is not intended to be.  Slavery isn't something you feel, it's something you've been made by another.  Any who doubt this need only type the word 'slave' in CNN to see stories of slavery in the modern world.

We often try to paint BDSM slavery as the opposite of enforced slavery, illustrating it with pretty Castle-Realm flowers and calling it an expression of love.  It's not.  Real slavery, as we might practice in the BDSM community, still requires a power exchange; i.e. without one person to enforce the status of slavery, there is no slavery. 

With this in mind, anyone - and I do mean anyone - can become the slave of someone stronger, and capable of holding them as a slave.  The legality or morality of such enslavement is important, only from the context of consent; the only socially acceptable means by which we can institute this slavery, is through the slave's consent.  That is his/her only choice; to grant or revoke consent.  Everything else is simply a 'request' that may be granted or not.  Anything less, to me, suggests the relationship is TPE only in fantasy.  A good arguement could be built to suggest that consent causes all TPE relationships to be 'fantasy' but it would only be made by those who have never been in a position to own or be owned, I think.

With these elements in mind, anyone can consent to slavery.  Anyone can beg to be owned.  Pre-existing personality traits such as dominance or submission will be affected in the short and long terms by the decision to submit.  After all, all of us must be dominant, or submissive, at different points in our lives.

A parallel conversation about these boundries can be found HERE in the Ask a Switch section.

Stephan

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 12:27:43 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

That certainly can be true Sea, but again it is very rare.  The ones that could become a slave,
probably were not hard wired to be Dominant in the long run. 


Honestly, I do not have an informed opinion about how common or rare this scenario is. And I recognize my response relies more on what I know about submissives than slaves, and on intuition more than empirical data.

I think Tammy Jo raises a good point that the behavior we see to be dominant behavior (for instance, at work) may be driven more by what the person thinks is expected rather than what is the natural behavior. And so definition of what one means by a dominant personality is relevant.

Another point I wish to offer is that I think one can have switch potential and be a slave, for I have come to see that where a person falls on the scale of degree of submission varies with person to person. That is, a person who could be a submissive switch with one person may end up being the perfect slave with another person.

Cheers,

Sea


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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 12:32:18 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Is he battling a role reversal in control or a role reversal in BDSM actions? I know LOTS of Masters who are mashochists. I know LOTS of Masters who use pain as a spiritual tool. But, then, I know Masters who have become slaves...and slaves who have become Masters...and boys who have become Daddys...and slaves who have become Daddys...and Sirs who have become boys.

I am a Servant Master. In many cases, this means I serve my slaves, although it's usually in different ways than how a slave serves a Master. This is part of my spiritual calling.

Master Fire


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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 12:39:40 PM   
MistressDiane


Posts: 334
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		I know of 2 young ladies, off the top of my head, that I've spent quite a bit of time with who both have strong dominant personalities. They both identify as slave and both have a current lasting relationship with some pretty dominant males. So can a slave have a dominant personality? Certainly.

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 12:52:20 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


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quote:

So here is the question:  can a dominant personality become a good slave??
I think someone with a dominant personality can become a good slave.   I believe you will notice many slaves here have dominant personalities...  Some people choose the slave role by choice as it is where they feel they belong with that particular partner, and others are naturally born that way.   One in my opinion is not better than the other as long as the people involved are comfortable in their respective roles.   
On the other hand, his strugling as you say cannot continue forever, and you have to set the boundaries and be willing to walk away if you don't want to become the slave to his dominance and manipulation.  
quote:

Since that time he has spent much time struggling with his inner self and his ability to be a dominant man and a slave at the same time.
I say if he wants to try the slave role, give him a chance, but that doesn't mean he gets to whine his way out of submitting to you.   M

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 12:56:28 PM   
BabyNyla


Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		I was a Domme for 8 years and loved it.  I met my husband and he turned my world upside down.  To him ... I am a slave.  Is it easy?  Not always ... but I try very hard and find it more fulfilling than anything and over time I think I will become a great slave ... and I wouldn't want to be anything else :)

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 1:19:51 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BabyNyla

I was a Domme for 8 years and loved it.  I met my husband and he turned my world upside down.  To him ... I am a slave.  Is it easy?  Not always ... but I try very hard and find it more fulfilling than anything and over time I think I will become a great slave ... and I wouldn't want to be anything else :)


Thank you for sharing BabyNyla, I thought that it was a rare occurrence.  One thing I have learned from reading
and posting on these boards is this lifestyle is a continuum for many that live it.
Though I don't see myself switching, I find this all fascinating.

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