RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch?

RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (Full Version)

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MzMia -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/18/2007 6:54:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MiladyElaine Nope, wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them which isn't very far! chuckling, I love it when someone says what I am thinking[;)]

SCDommie -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/18/2007 6:59:54 PM)
Yes, but they would have to understand they were not in control. It is hard to do with a switch especially switching from Dom to sub because once a person puts themselves in a Dom role, they tend to want that control back at some point. SCD

undergroundsea -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/18/2007 7:18:24 PM)
If I may interject, I think one can identify as a switch in that they can assume either role but not need each role. That is, a switch could be content to be submissive only. I would think this to be particularly applicable for submissive leanings switches who enjoy service topping. As a sub, I would consider a serious relationship with a switch--I have a knack for bringing out the dominant bones in subs and switches ;-) Cheers, Sea

RumpusParable -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/18/2007 7:35:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia quote: ORIGINAL: MiladyElaine Nope, wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them which isn't very far! chuckling, I love it when someone says what I am thinking[;)] Why does "switch"=untrustworthy to you both?

RumpusParable -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/18/2007 7:38:58 PM)
As some others have expressed, I would consider a switch as my submissive so long as they understodd they were not inclined to ever switch with me. I am a switch that cannot and has no interest in switching roles with a partner.

MzMia -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/18/2007 7:41:58 PM)
Because as it was said in most of the posts, most switches will sometimes bring out the Dominant side. If they did not want to express that side, they would NOT be a switch. I just don't have the time or patience or will to play games. It is hard enough with those that proclaim to be submissives, why would I want to deal with a known switch? But it does seem to work for some. Most of the switches I have ever talked to did not demonstrate a submissive side to me at all, but again to each his own.

RumpusParable -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/18/2007 7:47:42 PM)
Ah, the same mindset as those who won't be involved with a bisexual because "they all eventually Must want a poly relationship or cheat on you...".

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/18/2007 9:18:48 PM)
No and No. I do not consider Switches untrustworthy, but they are not My cup of tea. I know Tammyjo spoke of Fox as a switch. But, from what She has written I have always thought if him as a service top who is good at bondage and enjoys it. I am not sure if he is into any other topping sadistic pleasures. I feel there is a difference between a a submissive or a slave who also enjoys a little sadism on occasion, and a Switch. I think of a Switch as one who is seeking a relationship in which s/he is the Dominant and an additional relationship in which s/he is the submissive or slave. And I do not have the energy or the inclination to deal with that. To Me, there is a definite difference between being a Dominant or a submissive/slave, or being a Top or a bottom. If one identifies as a Switch and they are only speaking of playtime as a Top or a bottom, then I am not interested in that either. However, if I had a good relationship with a slave who was also good at and enjoyed certain sadistic pleasures, then, under My supervision and with My approval, I would not be opposed to him/her participating in such activities from time to time. Hope I made some sense here.

alexfromsacto -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/18/2007 9:24:56 PM)
Personally I label myself a switch because I enjoy either role. It's just as natural for me to be in one or the other. But at the same time, I prefer to take a single role in a relationship and stick with it. So, if I am looking for a Domme, I would be very happy and very devoted as a sub, and I don't think I would be any less good of a sub than one that labels themselves as that exclusively. The same applies when I am looking for my own sub. I have had experience as both, and never got any complaints (about that part of the relationship anyway, hah).

SweetDommes -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/18/2007 9:30:46 PM)
I'm a switch, but I would never switch with a boy. I am submissive to Holly and Holly alone. We have considered switches in the past, but they have all ended up being horrid disappointments. We are only interested in friendship from switches at this point.

Zonk -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/18/2007 11:57:06 PM)
I'm a switch myself. I'm not as experienced as many here, but personally I don't see myself as a switch, in that some days I feel dominant or some days I feel submissive, I see myself as able to fit into either role comfortably, as the situation warrants. There are some woman that I could never imagine topping, and some that I could never imagine doing anything other than topping. I guess my skill at either role could be questioned, but not my devotion to a role once its been defined. I guess I see switching as water that takes the shape of the container it's held in rather than an uneven block that will sit differently every time you drop it into a bucket. I'm so goddamn awesome at similes, I should make them professionaly. [&o]

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/19/2007 12:03:03 AM)
YES but they would be very submissive and only switch with other slaves/subs...It takes for the dom to lay down a good set of rules..AS a matter of fact I enjoy watching my switch using others other slaves/subs...BH

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/19/2007 6:46:52 AM)
Yes, I'd consider a serious relationship with a switch, but only if he is always submissive to me, only wants to switch at playtime, and our kinks matched. Could I be the submissive? No... M

Matt1958 -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/19/2007 7:56:27 AM)
I know this post was put out to the Ladies and I am male, but this topic is near and dear to my heart. I'm a switch and my "Rule to live by" is I never Top my Tops and I never bottom to my bottoms. I feel that doing so screws up the dynamics of the relationship. I have had very successful relationships submitting to one person while having my own sub. Two seperate relationships handled in a manner that are not connected. (eg. my Top has no say over what my bottom does. Hard limit set up at the start.) I understand about the thought that switches are unable to commit fully to a flavor in the Dominance/submissive smorgsaboard. I do not agree with it. All of us submit and Dominate at differents points in our life. We all do this. There are very few, if any, paths in life where you can assume one role and stay there 100% of the time. How many submissives out there find themselves in jobs where they must oversee other employees. How many Dominants are in jobs, such as sales, where they must submit to another's will in order to succeed. But those are public lives, not personal lives, you say. And I live my personal life thus.... . True, but both lives make up the world you exist in. And before anybody explodes...The act of submitting to another's will does not make you any less dominant than you are at that moment. It is simply an act of submission, just like, say, foot worship or "the customer is always right". The opposite is also true. We define people by their actions. We also tend to assign labels the same way. If you know what to look for, you may be able to tell if a person has a Dominant or submissive personallity by the way they hold themselves. This is not always the case and can get you into trouble. (Many people mistake my Lady for a submissive because she is quiet. This mistake is usually corrected the first time they challenge her on an issue she cares about. Or try to dominate her.) I think successful switches are just better at comparmentalizing their relationships than others. Unsuccessful switches are not. They let their Dominance/submission bleed over into their other relationships and this causes problems. I know I don't care for my submissive trying to "Top from the bottom". Also, I don't like it when my Top is not being being the Dominant in the relationship. Both scenarios leave me feeling that I am doing something wrong. So I would say yes, I would consider a serious relationship with a switch, but the roles must be clearly defined at the start and it would imperative that the other person understand that the roles will not change. If the switch. or I, has other relationships the biggest issue will be time. (personal experiance). But then, anyone who lives a poly lifestyle can tell you that. Monogomy allows more time to focus on your partner. Poly pulls you in different directions. Matt

Bella1965 -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/19/2007 10:04:48 AM)
G'afternoon all: quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig Yes, I'd consider a serious relationship with a switch, but only if he is always submissive to me, only wants to switch at playtime, and our kinks matched. Could I be the submissive? No... M Couldn't have said it better myself. I will add to it though. The playtime must be together (co-topping), and our relationship must be monogamous. I don't do poly; at all, ever, for any reason. For the reasons stated here; quote: ORIGINAL: Matt1958 Monogomy allows more time to focus on your partner. Poly pulls you in different directions. Matt Otherwise, it's all scoobyliscious! Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others... [:D] Bella

MzMia -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/19/2007 12:48:32 PM)
Great post Matt[:D] You sound like a switch that has it together, you state out front you won't Top your Tops. Most of the switches I have talked to don't tell me that. Most just say I am a switch. Communication is key in all relationships. The way you spell it out, their would be no misunderstandings. As you said, the roles are clearly defined.

DreamyLadySnow -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/19/2007 2:21:33 PM)
I've had boyfriends who were Doms and played with others. A boy who was a switch and topped others would be...mm..interesting. I won't close the door but it's not top of the list of things I am looking for. LS

thetammyjo -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/19/2007 4:17:09 PM)
This is how I was taught about switching -- one can take on a role on either side of the equation. The roles need not be directly parallel to each other. So a slave who is a good service top is a switch and a dominant who likes to be spanked is also a switch. alexfromsacto is correct in my experience that most switches do not switch withing in their relationships and do not need to switch regularly. Poly or monogamy are different issues than be bi or a switch. There are many people who are not switches and who aren't bi who cheat like there's no torromow after all.

firefey -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/19/2007 11:58:49 PM)
as someone who started out as more switch and has evolved, i think it a disservice to switches to just say all switches are not trustworthy. it's just untrue. just as saying all of any one group of identified persons is this or that way. i occationally will bottom. i am an s/m switch. and i think there needs to be a clarification when talking about switches, whether your speaking of s/m or d/s switches. i enjoy both ends of a crop, and i tend these days to be more top/sadist than bottom/masochist. but i am not submissive by any stretch of the imagination. just isn't going to happen boys and girls. does this mean i am not able to be trusted? i know more than a few who would beg to differ. would i consider a switch as a long time partner? yes. i understand that head space, and in some cases encourage it. would i switch with my partner? maybe. it's a bridge to be crossed at a later date. but i am also a poly person, and i can see where monogomy might pose extra chalenges unique to the situation.

PsyVamp -> RE: Would you consider a serious relationship with a switch? (2/20/2007 5:33:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia Would any of you ladies consider a switch as a serious, long term partner? Oh yes....... some of my favorite....playmates... are switches. The word "switch" is quickly becoming a favorite in my lexicon. quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia Also, would you be willing to switch and be the submissive on occasion? Oh no no no...... never submissive..... but topped in the bedroom..for a bit..is definately within the realm of possibilities...... [sm=evil.gif] Mistress Psy... OH and btw,,, I LOVE your questions...

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