interacting with trained girls (Full Version)

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kisshou -> interacting with trained girls (2/19/2007 7:59:28 AM)

Greetings and Hello,

I am a slave who is owned by a man who lives his life according to Gorean philosophy. I live with him 24/7 and usually just post in the Gorean forum. There are alot of things that a Gorean slave is trained in and they become automatic to her over time. I have recently been talking with a man (dominant) who is not Gorean.

I sometimes wonder if I should explain why I do certain things. I don't want to imply that I speak for all gorean slaves here but there is alot of behavior that is fairly typical. An example would be whenever a man speaks to you directly you acknowledge it. Kind of like in the military where the soldier says , yes sir when told something.

That is just one example but there are many. Like not offering an opinion unless invited to.

so I have two questions 1) should I explain that behavior or is it obvious that I behave how I was trained to
2) does that behavior make a girl seem weird?

thank you so much for taking time to read this

kisshou



krikket -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/19/2007 8:07:52 AM)

I know very little about Gor, but my opinion is the same no matter what type of training anyone has had, or what their orientation is, and that is Good Manners are always appreciated and what I'd try to live my life by.  I know that some Gor Masters don't want their girls to talk to anyone, regardless, and if that's the case then you should abide by what your Master wants.  If he doesn't object, then you might ask the man if he understands why you act/react the way you do.  As for weird or not, I seriously doubt it, but you, your Master and this other man would be the best ones to answer.

cheers,
jk



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/19/2007 8:08:50 AM)

You should explain only when said behavior will likely cause confusion.  If not likely to cause confusion, don't presume that it will.  Just act graceful and polite as you should and it won't become a big issue.

Yes, you might be seen as weird.  Most of us are by someone.

Also, don't expect 'trained to do this' to be a legitimate excuse against bad behavior.  If you are trained to be an ass, you're still an ass.  Not that I think you will, I just know lots of trained girls who use the line "It's what I was trained to do" as an excuse for their ill behavior.



SimplyMichael -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/19/2007 8:11:59 AM)

Who cares what others think?  If someone doesn't have the balls to ask why you do something who cares? 

For me, the whole third person speak thing is something I love.  It allows me to filter out those with whom I can figure I have zero interest in talking to.



BitaTruble -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/19/2007 8:19:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou


so I have two questions 1) should I explain that behavior or is it obvious that I behave how I was trained to
2) does that behavior make a girl seem weird?


kisshou


Greetings kisshou,

As a Gorean's slave, I would think those are questions you would ask your Master first. If you have already done so, then you know the behavior which is expected of you. If he tells you to explain it, then explain it. If he tells you not to, then don't. You have no need to justify your behavior to strangers but that doesn't mean you won't get called on bad behavior if you exhibit such.

Oh, and being considered weird is an issue with the person who thinks you are weird.. not you.

I wish you well,

Celeste




RiotGirl -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/19/2007 8:42:42 AM)

i wouldnt offer up an explanation every time.  If a question is asked about it - i'd explain, but otherwise not.

Not sure what what all the trained behaviors are - but the ones you mentioned just seem polite. 



azzmaster -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/19/2007 8:56:28 AM)

i think u can't go wrong explainin things, and in fact askin otha doms if they want u to act that way. most folks aren't gorean. i never met one in real life yet.



sublizzie -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/19/2007 9:12:33 AM)

Really? I've met a few people in real-life who practice Gorean lifestyle.



Stephann -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/19/2007 10:07:06 AM)

kisshou,

Knowing your personality the way I do, I wouldn't worry too much; if the man is interesting enough to keep your attention, he'll likely be intelligent enough to ask you necessary questions.  Keep in mind the 'strange' things you do, have as much chance of making him more interested in you and how your relationship works, as they do in making him think you are weird.

Stephan



WhiplashSmile -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/19/2007 7:29:39 PM)

I would only bother explaining if he asks or is otherwise bothered by it.  If he's intelligent enough he should be able to recognize your behavior as a conditioned pattern, since you are clearly a slave.  Your patterns will/do probally confuse many vanilla types which do not understand your position in life.

I recall going on a date, a long long time ago, with somebody who had been a well trained slave.  This was supposed to be a vanilla date.  I was totally unaware she had been a slave.  She was very polite and submissive.  There are polite submissive vanilla woman out there after all.

When we went out for the first time, her true self and conditioned behaviors stuck out like a sore thumb. She was always behind me by 4-5 paces. At first I felt like I was walking too fast.  However, when I slowed down to let her catch up. She would slow down as well....  I still recall this moment and find great humor in it, as we approched the store door.  She about broke her neck trying to hurry up from behind me to grab the door and hold it open for me.  As everything progressed she repeated this behavior several times.  I personal found that it interupted my flow entering and leaving buildings. Hell she even opened up the car door for me.  She was getting a little flustered at seeing the displeasure I held on my face at times.  I confronted her in private regarding this and many things.  At first she was trying to pass it off as simply trying to do things to please her man.  A tap dance of words, not coming outright and spilling her guts.  I had to ask her directly. LOL...

Perfect case of interacting with a well trained girl.



kisshou -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/20/2007 1:59:43 AM)

lol Master WhiplashSmile

that is exactly the thing and I keep wondering what would have happened if you snapped your fingers :)

thanks everyone for all the replies !



Celeste43 -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/20/2007 1:14:06 PM)

He's dominant, let him take the lead. If he is too afraid to ask why you do something, then he isn't very dominant. Besides I doubt most of the things you do are confusing him. He would say so if they were.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/20/2007 1:48:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43
He's dominant, let him take the lead. If he is too afraid to ask why you do something, then he isn't very dominant. Besides I doubt most of the things you do are confusing him. He would say so if they were.

A) That's a totally false stereotype about dominants
B)  It could have nothing to do with fear, but simply not wanting to make THEM feel awkward by pointing out their behavior, which is generally considered inappropriate in social situations



lighthearted -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/20/2007 2:10:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou


so I have two questions 1) should I explain that behavior or is it obvious that I behave how I was trained to
2) does that behavior make a girl seem weird?


kisshou


Greetings kisshou,

As a Gorean's slave, I would think those are questions you would ask your Master first. If you have already done so, then you know the behavior which is expected of you. If he tells you to explain it, then explain it. If he tells you not to, then don't. You have no need to justify your behavior to strangers but that doesn't mean you won't get called on bad behavior if you exhibit such.

Oh, and being considered weird is an issue with the person who thinks you are weird.. not you.

I wish you well,

Celeste




ok...now that was funny...



BitaTruble -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/21/2007 12:06:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted


ok...now that was funny...


Then I didn't write it very well as it wasn't intended to be humorous. :(

Celeste



Solinear -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/21/2007 5:45:19 AM)

kisshou,

I guess it matters on how long you have been talking to him and how frequently.  If you talk to him a couple of times a week and have only been talking to him few a month or so, then it may not be something that he has noticed as a common practice.  If you talk to him frequently and he hasn't brought it up yet though, it's either something that he likes or is (like me) on a rather large list of items that just don't matter that much.

Your best bet though is to bring up your concern and make sure.  I do believe that Gorean slaves are expected to be open and honest at all times, offering information, so being true to what you are is usually the best path in any relationship, no matter how romantic or non-romantic the relationship may be.

Solinear



lighthearted -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/21/2007 6:57:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted


ok...now that was funny...


Then I didn't write it very well as it wasn't intended to be humorous. :(

Celeste


it struck me that your use of phrases I've seen in many gorean type posts seemed very sarcastic.  but then again, I've always had the most ridiculous sense of humor.

thanks for clarifying. [:)]



kisshou -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/21/2007 7:13:31 AM)

greetings and hiya bitatruble,

I really appreciated your advice. I purposefully came to this forum because I am so immersed in a different culture that I wanted people who are outside of it's opinions. I would say I live in a small world so it has been a big learning experience to step outside of it and learn firsthand how other peopel interact.

I always do my best to adapt my behavior to the man I am interacting with so he will be pleased. So far it has all been great.

Thanks again for taking time to answer my question

kisshou



littleone35 -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/21/2007 9:36:54 AM)

I was Gorean trained (Not anymore) but it did not cause any trouble for me.  I would not explain unless you use a turn of phrase and he asked why you said it that way.  If they don't ask then it does not matter to them.

Matt's littleone



BitaTruble -> RE: interacting with trained girls (2/21/2007 9:09:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

greetings and hiya bitatruble,

I really appreciated your advice. I purposefully came to this forum because I am so immersed in a different culture that I wanted people who are outside of it's opinions. I would say I live in a small world so it has been a big learning experience to step outside of it and learn firsthand how other peopel interact.

I always do my best to adapt my behavior to the man I am interacting with so he will be pleased. So far it has all been great.

Thanks again for taking time to answer my question

kisshou


Greetings kisshou,

It was my pleasure to give you my opinion although perhaps I wasn't the best person to offer it up as Himself and I live an M/s relationship which, in many ways, one would be hard pressed to distinguish from Gorean, (aside from all the S/m stuff that is [:D]) so I don't know how helpful it was in the long run. [:)]

Celeste




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