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The funny way things happen - 2/19/2007 9:20:49 AM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		This is weird. I had someone contact me on myspace today that I haven't spoken to in over two years. I dated him once or twice all that time ago, and now he says he's been searching for me and wants to get back together. I'm just like.. zuh? He basically disappeared on me all that time ago, and suddenly wants to get back together?

Well, since this is the section I basically live in, I wanted all you all's opinions, if I may. Do you think he's serious, or just looking for a lay before he goes *poof* again? We did have a really good connection when we did date (which made his disappearance all the more confusing), and the letter he wrote me seems very sweet, well-intentioned and sincere, but I just don't know. I haven't yet gotten a reason why he disappeared on me last time, (I just got the email today) and I don't want to put any sort of investment (friendship or otherwise) into someone that is gonna vanish.

I have changed both my address and phone number in the time since I met him, so it's possible that he is telling the truth about having been looking for me. I dunno.

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A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.
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RE: The funny way things happen - 2/19/2007 9:31:12 AM   
sensualmagirl


Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline 		Just my opinion...

Two years is enough time to have matured I would think (hope)... and not do the *poof* thing again.  People, to me, seem to panic when things start to get too "serious" and maybe that's all it was.

If I felt that he was sincere and I liked him before, I would give him another shot.  Maybe I am a massochist... I don't think so, but, I do give people a lot of chances in life... LOL... sometimes I get burnt, other times, I don't... Life is really a crap-shoot.

If I were you, I would take it very slow, because he has lost your trust, and needs to earn it again (make sure he knows this too).

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"The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give" --Eleanor Roosevelt


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RE: The funny way things happen - 2/19/2007 9:36:58 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I would ask him:

what are your expectations?
why did you poof?


the question to ask yourself:
why should I consider this/him?
Unless he gives you a reason for his poof and you can determine he's over it, I wouldn't go there.


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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
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RE: The funny way things happen - 2/19/2007 9:39:06 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline

I have to agree with the above statement, she gives very good advice.

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Our greatest glory is not in never falling-but in rising every time we fall ( Confucius )

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RE: The funny way things happen - 2/19/2007 9:39:24 AM   
WyrdRich


Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline 		      This sort of thing comes up from time to time in the BA (Bastards Anonymous) meetings.  Without some serious evidence otherwise, assume he is looking for a zero-effort lay and then gone again.  He'll score extra points with his buddies if he can get you to pay for the room.

   (Yeah, meetings are supposed to be confidential, but hey, we're bastards.)

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RE: The funny way things happen - 2/19/2007 9:43:00 AM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		*nods* Yeah, I do know I need to get a reason for it...

They say "once bitten twice shy" but like you, sens, I tend to be the kind of person that keeps giving chances. Sometimes people repay my trust by becoming trustworthy, and sometimes they don't.

I guess going into this with the knowledge that he may go "poof" again gives me an advantage, in that I'll know better than to invest too much in him emotionally until I know without a doubt that he can be trusted... And I am going to make it very clear from the get-go that this is a trial friendship only. He will get no play from me until he can prove himself. If he's just in it for a quick lay, that should take care of the problem right there.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

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RE: The funny way things happen - 2/19/2007 10:54:00 AM   
Sternhand4


Posts: 422
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

     This sort of thing comes up from time to time in the BA (Bastards Anonymous) meetings.  Without some serious evidence otherwise, assume he is looking for a zero-effort lay and then gone again.  He'll score extra points with his buddies if he can get you to pay for the room.

  (Yeah, meetings are supposed to be confidential, but hey, we're bastards.)


We are soooo yanking your membership card & decoder ring at the next meeting.. 

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RE: The funny way things happen - 2/19/2007 11:16:51 AM   
WyrdRich


Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sternhand4

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

    This sort of thing comes up from time to time in the BA (Bastards Anonymous) meetings.  Without some serious evidence otherwise, assume he is looking for a zero-effort lay and then gone again.  He'll score extra points with his buddies if he can get you to pay for the room.

(Yeah, meetings are supposed to be confidential, but hey, we're bastards.)


We are soooo yanking your membership card & decoder ring at the next meeting.. 




    The cookies sucked anyway.  And I've given up hope of ever getting higher than a 48 hour chip.

(in reply to Sternhand4)
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