Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (Full Version)

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Shylahgirl -> Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 9:32:07 AM)

Ok, my question requires some explanation first.  

I am a 24/7 submissive and have been for over a year, I clean, cook, do laundry, take care of pets/kids (when the kid is over for a weekend) and I work a full time job from 3pm-10pm five days a week.  

The Master to whom I am owned has a roommate; when I became Master’s 24/7 I asked if I was to serve his roommate as well, I was told no. The roommate said that he was not comfortable having me clean up after him, the roommate is 38 years old.   Keep the last paragraph in mind.   At this point Master’s house is very clean and orderly, for the most part.  
The messiest room in the house in the living room, where the roommate lives and where people come in the front door, so the living room is the first room guests see when they enter the house.

There is dirty laundry all over the floor and dirty dishes on the dresser and tables.  

Here’s an example of what happens when I ask this 38 year old man to help a little bit around the house that he lives in and messes up every bit as much as Mater and I: 

 When I have had a long day at work and come home to a sink full of dishes (note that I always do the dishes before I go to work everyday, so I know these aren’t mine and maybe a plate or two is Master’s) I ask the roommate if he can help me out and do the dishes, which I have timed and it takes around 15 minutes give or take… he responds with, “Maybe, if I get around to it.” And keep in mind that I usually only ask this of the roommate about once every two weeks.  

I also ask him to clean his room and take out the trash when he goes out for a smoke.

He say’s “Ok.”  

I say “Thank you,” and go to bed… the roommate is up for another 3 or 4 hours.   I get up in the morning and the sink is still full of stinky dirty dishes, his room (the living room) is still a mess, usually worse then the night before, and the trash is still not taken out.  

This is how it has been for the entire time I have been 24/7 for Master… roommate doesn’t want me to serve him, but won’t clean up after him self and when I ask him to take out the trash or do the dishes he says, “Aren’t you the girl (submissive) here?” or, “Isn’t that your job?”  

I love and respect Master and want to serve him to the best of my ability, but I don’t like being used by his roommate who has already stated that he does not want me serving him in anyway.  

Now my question, is it wrong of me to expect the roommate to do a shear of the house work?  

And how would I get him to do his shear of the house work?
(I’ve tried asking, I’ve tried demanding, Master has told him many times, and I have written him up a bill for the work I have done for him. I have gotten to the point a few times where I went and cleaned the roommates room my self and the roommate yelled at me about it after. None of these things have worked)

Shylah



thetammyjo -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 9:36:00 AM)

*raises a hand*

I have a question. Why is the living room this roommates room?

I could see a lot of this being dealt with simply by giving him his own bedroom.

Or better yet, he moves out and you move in. I mean, if you are 24/7 all ready, that would say you traveling and paying for another place.

Tom has his desk and his space in our house -- it is not my or my slave's responsiblity to clean it and we all chip in on doing the housework. However, these spaces that my rather messy husband has are not in public view.



mnottertail -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 9:38:18 AM)

LOL, proof that submissives are doormats.....

without consequence there is no action.
actions have consequences.
consequenses are the result of action.

If it can't be worked out, boot the fuckin' clown, find a cheaper place and move out,  get your master to tighten up his balls and have it cleared up with this clown.

DO something, not just SAY something.

Ron



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 9:43:24 AM)

Since we're dealing with non-family adults- take all of his dirty things, including his dirty dishes and put them on his bed.  Do it every day.  They might just make it from the bed to the floor, but the pile will be isolated in his room for him to deal with.

If it comes to it- keep good dishes only in your room for when you need them, clean them immediately and put them away again.

I wasn't sure if the living room was where the roommate lives or whether that's just where all the stuff conglomerates.  Having him live in the living room seems very unappealing.



Sunshine119 -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 9:47:06 AM)

When my own son was an adolescent, it was his job to take out the garbage.  When the garbage piled up, I would take the bags and place them on his unmade bed. 

You can be assured that they would quickly be removed! 

LA's advice is sound.  Even though it is also your living room, treating him like a petulant adolescent might be the trick.  If not, I'd make sure life around there became extremely uncomfortable for him.

Sunshine



mnottertail -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 9:47:48 AM)

Ja, I will agree with LA, and if that don't work, have your master thread him thru a couple windows---that gets thier attention.

Ron



toservez -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 9:50:31 AM)

This is your Master’s problem and you need to probably be more communicative to him about how serious of an issue this is to you.

If your Master truly agrees that you should not clean up after the roommate then to me this has little to do with D/s and is just normal life happening. It is two men pretending that the mess and dirt is not there and the person who it bugs the most will eventually take care of it type situation.

If your Master does not want to confront the roommate, which appears to be the case from the information written, then I do not see how things are going to change. Either something changes around there or you will have to accept that your responsibilities do include the roommate despite the acknowledged agreement or the possibility of something more drastic if this is something you cannot handle.

A key to all healthy relationships including ones based on power exchange is living realistically and not trying to live theoretically. Since you work full time among other things and cannot do everything that is being required of you then it needs to be communicated in this way so adjustments can be made.



KatyLied -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 9:53:58 AM)

I agree, another room for the roommate other than the living room would help matters a lot.  And if you aren't supposed to serve the roommate, why are you doing his dirty dishes?  If you let them pile up long enough I'm sure someone (your Master) will take action.  I know that's sort of passive-agressive, but you aren't suppsoed to be doing it anyway.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 9:54:11 AM)

This is a tough situation and you're struggling because you're not being able to control another's behavior in order to get what you want. You may simply have to give that up because you cannot control another person's stuff. All you can do is control your stuff and how you decide to react.

There are many reasons to re-evaluate a relationship. By keeping this roommate who is dissrespecting his property, your Master is sending mixed signals. Some questions to ask:

Being passive-agressive about it might make you feel better in the short term, but what happens if it doesn't fix the problem? If neither of you are happy with the roommate, why has he not been told to move out? Another roommate can be found.

Alternatively, this might be a "cry for help" from the roommate...many depressed people simply cannot manage to do much more than get out of bed and go to work. I've been there. Has anything changed about him since you moved in or began serving (other than this)? If this is true, you then have the decision to make, with your Master, about how much you want to help him. Realize that helping doesn't necessarily mean enabeling (which is what you're doing by doing his work for him).

Did your Master do the work before you started and he's simply negated to tell you?

In the end, even given all these questions, you are being put in the middle of what is really your Master's problem to handle and solve. It's not unreasonable to expect him to do so.

Master Fire




Shylahgirl -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 9:57:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

*raises a hand*

I have a question. Why is the living room this roommates room?

I could see a lot of this being dealt with simply by giving him his own bedroom.

Or better yet, he moves out and you move in. I mean, if you are 24/7 all ready, that would say you traveling and paying for another place.

Tom has his desk and his space in our house -- it is not my or my slave's responsiblity to clean it and we all chip in on doing the housework. However, these spaces that my rather messy husband has are not in public view.


He lives in the living room because it's a small house and he didn't pay rent for about a year and ahalf so Master wasn't going to give him his own room, my bedroom is upstairs in the attic apartment (which I only use to store my stuff, I sleep at the foot of Masrer's bed most of the time) I have sugjested to Master that the roommate move in up stairs, but Master wants me to have my own space.

Shylah



Mercnbeth -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 10:01:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

...Now my question, is it wrong of me to expect the roommate to do a shear of the house work?


it isn't unreasonable to expect an adult member of a household to do their share of housework.  this particular individual, however, doesn't display the maturity of an adult household member, according to your account.  it is unrealistic to expect him to do anything other than what he has been doing...nothing, according to you.

quote:

...And how would I get him to do his shear of the house work?


you say you live with your Master and you refer to yourself as being "owned"...you refer to this slob as "Master's" roommate, not yours.  just curious, but given that, how is this up to you to "get" him to do anything?  Does your Master own the roommate as well?



Shylahgirl -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 10:05:10 AM)

In responce to people thinking that Master isn't doing anything about this... He has threatened to kick the roommate out sevral times. For his messy room.

The rommate takes care of the mess for about a week then it just gose back to how it was before.

I have talked to Master about me feeling used and he understands, but the fact is that when anyone tell the roommate to clean his room the roommate doesn't listion. I do put the trash on his bed, I do make him deal with the mess in the living room, and yes he lives in the living room, but when he has to deal with it I look like a bad submissive, cuz that part of the house is a mess.

Master is reluctent to kick the roommate out compleatly because they are business partners. Not the best ecuses, but I can understand his reluctence.



Shylahgirl -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 10:08:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth



you say you live with your Master and you refer to yourself as being "owned"...you refer to this slob as "Master's" roommate, not yours.  just curious, but given that, how is this up to you to "get" him to do anything?  Does your Master own the roommate as well?


The rommat was here before me.

I do not refure to Master's house as my house, because I don't own it and I don't pay the bills.

The roommate staying here is Master's dessison not mine, so there for I call him Master's roommate because I have no controle wether he is here or not.

Shylah



slavekara -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 10:30:28 AM)

Greetings Shylah,

Have you tried talking to this room mate? Telling him how you feel.
Maybe try reminding him that he didnt want any help, and then tell him what D/s is all about. A submissive not being a doormat and that you cannot feel obligated to do his share as he doesnt own you.

slave kara (A)



BitaTruble -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 10:37:17 AM)

Hire a maid, then increase the roommates rent to cover the cost of the service. If your Master is OK with it, give the roommate one months notice of the rent increase which should be equal to whatever the maid will cost and let the roommate know that the additional rent monies are specifically to cover the cost of cleaning up after him.

Celeste



Dnomyar -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 11:08:24 AM)

If it is not your house leave the guy alone. Who are you to tell someone how to live their life. If the guy is a slob so be it. It is not your place to change him. When you are there it is your duty to focus on your Master. You are getting sidetracked by someone else. Learn to focus.



toservez -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 11:08:33 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

In responce to people thinking that Master isn't doing anything about this... He has threatened to kick the roommate out sevral times. For his messy room.

The rommate takes care of the mess for about a week then it just gose back to how it was before.

I have talked to Master about me feeling used and he understands, but the fact is that when anyone tell the roommate to clean his room the roommate doesn't listion. I do put the trash on his bed, I do make him deal with the mess in the living room, and yes he lives in the living room, but when he has to deal with it I look like a bad submissive, cuz that part of the house is a mess.

Master is reluctent to kick the roommate out compleatly because they are business partners. Not the best ecuses, but I can understand his reluctence.



I still say this is your Master’s problem. He has set up an unrealistic situation and has not made enough effort to resolve the issue.

You have, apparently a slob living in a common living area because, right or wrong, your Master does not want to give him his own room amongst other things. It sounds like you have talked to the roommate and that did little.

The truth is the roommate might just have no ability to change his ways and a big decision does need to be made. The thing to me is you have to treat the problem and not the symptoms so playing games with the roommate yourself really is at best a short term solution. The roommate obviously knows that the decision maker in all of this is your Master and as long as he is Ok with the behavior whether acknowledged or accepted by inaction then nothing will change.

May I ask when the Master has spoken to the roommate about the situation was it only after the roommate knew you were upset and probably the driving force behind the discussion? Personally until your Master is proactive in this matter and the roommate truly knows what is expected of him or he will be asked to leave then this is pretty much a game in a way for all parties with you the designated loser.

To me it sounds like your Master really does not care about the mess situation and/or his relationship with his roommate/partner/friend is so complicated his hands are tied and/or you have failed to communicate just how much this bothers you and it might be affecting the relationship.

It comes down to can the roommate or can’t he pick up and clean after himself and what your Master is willing to do if the answer is the roommate cannot and getting both of them to this point of understanding.




KatyLied -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 11:13:08 AM)

I think the Master in this case is the roommate.  He definitely holds the power in the house.  



RumpusParable -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 11:30:44 AM)

Edited after reading your follow-ups:

Your master really *isn't* doing anything about it by deciding to have the roommate live in common areas and every so often threatening the roommate and then letting it slide.  The opposite is the case:  he's decided to have this situation exactly how it is. He has chosen where the roommate makes the mess and to let it continue.

At this point, your only options are to accept the situation or leave it, your master has decided that this is the environment you will serve in.

On the rude comments the roommate has made, that's a personal issue.  I hope you've given him a good piece of your mind and don't put up with such nonsense.



Shylahgirl -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 11:49:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekara

Greetings Shylah,

Have you tried talking to this room mate? Telling him how you feel.
Maybe try reminding him that he didnt want any help, and then tell him what D/s is all about. A submissive not being a doormat and that you cannot feel obligated to do his share as he doesnt own you.

slave kara (A)


I've talked to him and he knows what D/s is all about. He was a submissive in a polly relationship for about a year.

Shylah



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