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Momma Said Don't Hit Girls - 3/18/2005 8:10:59 AM

PlayfulRaquel

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I'm asking this questions simply out of curiousity. Did any doms ever struggle with bondage because you were raised not to hit girls? How did you overcome this? Have you ever had someone think your an abusive person because you like bondage?

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RE: Momma Said Don't Hit Girls - 3/18/2005 8:35:57 AM

MidnightWriter

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But of course - overcoming one's social conditioning is one of those hurdles that's very common - not just about hitting girls, but about hitting anyone, being too bossy, relationships that aren't egalitarian - lots of stuff like that.

I started that journey, Ghu help me, by reading John Norman's Gor novels. For a professor of philosophy, he wrote some amazingly bad dialogue - but the ideas there helped me get started.

From that, with a few bobbles and side-tracks, I found usenet's alt.sex.bondage (RIP

) - and got quite an education. But it certainly was a journey, and there were some remarkably rocky parts. I expect that there are some more rocky stretches ahead, come to think of it - but it's been a worthwhile trip.

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RE: Momma Said Don't Hit Girls - 3/18/2005 1:25:27 PM

Erusvi

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Ah yes... and momma was a cop. She's also one of the most phenomenal people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. She was a single mother with three kids who managed to raise us, work full time as a police officer and get her degree in criminology. All the while she maintained a genuine warmth and compassion for everyone she encountered. I have an incredible degree of respect for her as a person. I learned from her an incredible respect for women.

Now, I'm not one of those people who started tying up my cat at an early age or anything. I came into BDSM later, in my mid-twenties. At first, I struggled with the perceived violation of that 'Momma said don't hit girls' law. (Actually, she told me not to hit anyone, regardless of gender). But it was the fortunate realization that, as a top, you're not hitting someone for the sake of hitting them. You're not 'carving meat' as one 'dom' described his perception of it.

You are facilitating someone's journey within the boundless reaches of their imagination. Your whips, floggers, blades, ropes, voice, and mind... these are all bends and forks and peaks and valleys along their path. The destination is not defeat; it's euphoria. It's the navigation of this journey and the delectable reactions from that experience that are, for me, the nectar of the art.

My mother and I have come to be good friends over the years. She knows quite a bit about what I do. She's met my slave and welcomed her openly to our family. She does think we're a bit odd, but she sees that we are fulfilled, and that makes her proud.

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RE: Momma Said Don't Hit Girls - 3/18/2005 1:59:29 PM

MrThorns

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Absolutely! I had a very hard time developing my sadistic side, as a lot of old programming was getting in the way. I considered myself a sensual dominant...and still do. I couldn't understand how someone could possibly get off on giving or receiving pain. Fortunately, I have moved beyond the programming and have evolved into the happy go lucky, Evil Rat Bastid of a sadist that I am today.

How it happened..hmm...it's hard to really pick an event that brought about this change. I would say that I broke free over a period of time. During that time, I would swing a flogger, but only to create a teasing sensation. A little sting...a little thud...nothing too hard. Then one day...it just clicked. I started putting a little more arm into my throws...a little more shoulder...started swinging my hips into it. Next thing I know I'm wanting to learn more about ways to make a girl scream, squirm, and become a puddle of girly-goo on the floor.

So far so good.

~Thorns

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RE: Momma Said Don't Hit Girls - 3/18/2005 2:08:04 PM

SirKenin

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I have always been a sadist, but not necessarily when it comes to S&M. At first I was nervous about the idea but the more I did it the more it turned Me on. I have not looked back.

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RE: Momma Said Don't Hit Girls - 3/18/2005 3:28:45 PM

Mercnbeth

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My mom also said....

...Wait 1 hour after eating to swim.

... Wait until you fall in love and get married to have sex.

... Don't wear rubbers (the boot kind) inside or you'll go blind. Precursor to saying the same thing about masturbation with a side of hairy palm.

... Don't run with scissors.

... Finish ALL your food, people are starving in Europe.

... Don't put that in your mouth you don't know where it's been.

... Patent leather shoes are worn by sluts (no wait that wasn't mom - It was the nuns!)

... If you keep making that face it will freeze that way.

Bottom line, if a Master is still relying on his mommy to be his mentor you should refer him to someone at this site instead.

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RE: Momma Said Don't Hit Girls - 3/18/2005 3:40:23 PM

Alexander

Posts: 159
Joined: 12/10/2004
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And one time, at my house...

My mom said, "When I got up last night I felt the presense of the devil outside your room."

Those moms. Such kidders.

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RE: Momma Said Don't Hit Girls - 3/18/2005 6:51:37 PM

MistressWoulf