MadRabbit
Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
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Okay...yeah....I can just see the confidence brewing from this post....
quote:
ORIGINAL: JLION
First of all I would like to apologize if my profile offended some people. Second of all this is the first time I have heard any complaints about it and I never even thought for a minute there was anything bad in it. I would also like to say:
Ouch! I confess: I was never president of the "cool kids club" in high school, and I am pretty sure we never even had such a club. I must also confess that my ex-girlfriends were not "lame-o". They were actually "rad". But seriously that part of my profile was supposed to be funny, but the humor probably does not reach all audiences. Obviously my comedic skills need a tune-up  I have no problem with people in the vanilla world. Please don't make such accusations. Almost every single person I know in the world is Vanilla as far as I can tell.. If I didn't like Vanilla people I would be a very isolated person!
Why are you apologizing because one person without a sense of humor took your profile the wrong way?
Further more, why are you only responding to this one person who chose to say negative things about you? You have 2 pages worth of good, positive advice pertaining to your problem, but oddly, you chose to go on a long tangent regarding one negative post while not even addressing all the good stuff here.
The profile was meant to be funny. Simple as that. Those of us with a sense of humor can clearly see that. If it was my profile, I wont feal the need to justify every little bit to a stick in the mud.
quote:
By the way. I really like to make fun of things that I find funny. I always have and I always will! When I am on my deathbed I will probably be making fun of the doctor with the funny mustache. I make fun of others very often, because a lot of people are just so easy to make fun of. I try not to upset people and I keep my jokes clean and fun. People make fun of me, and I take it with good grace! Life is funny! A lot of famous comedians (Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock) who are a lot funnier and better at making fun of people than I am are not really thought of as bad, evil, insecure people. But I guess amateur comedians such as myself are.
Your not really being funny here. Your using humor to find acceptance and to try and strike back at the person who wounded your ego while masking the wound itself.
The real question, though, is why do you feal the need to find acceptance from a bunch of anonymous people on the Internet in the first place?
quote:
But honestly, I don't think my profile made fun of anyone at all. And I know for a fact that I didn't intend to. If it came out the wrong way, I sincerely apologize. I actually changed it a few days ago just because I didn't like it. It's also kind of coincidental, but when I first wrote the "cool kid club" joke and "lame-o" I thought it was kind of funny. When I re-read it, I just thought it was not that funny anymore, for no particular reason.
Geez, back on to apologizing for the profile. A second paragraph rewriting everything you said at the beginning of your post, but in a different way. This one person who has something derotagory to say out of a dozen people must be bugging you. How many times did you reread it? Did you sit there, focusing on wrong it was, thinking you were stupid in the first place for making it, and trying to think how you can make it "perfect" so everyone will like it?
quote:
Also, I don't know where this whole confidence thing comes from. Do you just assume nice guys are not confident people or something? I think there are nice guys who are assertive, honest, and decisive in this world. I don't think I am 100% confident with myself. Outside of Monks, Nuns, Priests, and other exceptional practicioners, there are very few people that are. But I disagree with your assessment of me based on my silly profile. But thanks for sharing it with me anyway.
Yeah...I dont really know where this whole confidence thing comes from either.
You stated a problem regarding "not coming of as dominant".
The majority of the people here responded with positive feedback about how not coming off as dominant comes from a lack of confidence. We also shared stories of our own inconfidence and how we improved on that to become better dominants.
Rather than listen to any of that, you focused on the one negative person and took all this as a personal insult towards your own lack of confidence.
And your welcome, but really....does saying thank you really matter since you didnt listen to any of it in the first place?
quote:
But ok, serious new question now: This isn't related to BDSM anymore. But is making fun of people really a sign of lack of confidence or insecurity to all of you? I know that it is sometimes. But what if you just genuinely enjoy being a funny person, and sometimes you can't resist a good "zinger" on someone? I'm sure I'll get PLENTY of responses (yeah right).
Basically, that question translates into "Please tell me I am not inconfident."...which in itself is a pure testament to your own lack of confidence.
You have made it clear that you make fun of other people. By asking that question, you are looking for people to pat you on the back and tell you "No, no your a big boy despite your passive agressive humor."
Which is my answer to your question...there is nothing wrong with being funny or making a few jokes at someone's elses expense. I do it all the time. There is a problem if you are using that humor to be passive agressive, cover up your own insecurities and lack of confidence, or as a way to gain acceptance. People make jokes above their own negatives and it translates into "Ha, ha please laugh at this and overlook how flawed of a person I am"
You seen Fight Club? Edward Norton and Brad Pitt are on the airplane and Brad Pitt remarks on Edward Norton's "sick desperation in his laugh". Edward Nortons humor and laughter was a cry for help to his own loneliness and misery. Much like all your so called humor in this post is nothing more than a mask to cover up your inconfidence.
I have an incredibly high metabolism in addition to a very tall and slender body frame. My own lack of "bulk muscle" has been a source of insecurity for me for a long time. I coped with that insecurity by making endless jokes about my skinny body when I was a young pup. As I grew up and my metabolism slowed down and I became to develop more muscle and finnally began to accept that I was never going to be "buff", the jokes slowly stopped.
I'm sorry because I know this reply is probably gonna be a huge hit in the gut, but thats the point. If you can take this huge hit in the gut and turn it into something positive without writing another post back flaming me and telling me how wrong I am, then you are one step closer to becomming a good dominant. I didnt spend 20 minutes writing this while enjoying my morning coffee because I wanted to shit on you. I have better things to do then make people feal bad about themselves.
Dominance takes confidence...a lot of confidence... and this last post of yours reaks of a lack of it along with tons of insecuties. To own a slave and maintain total power exchange, you have to have enough confidence and acceptance of yourself to end the relationship with a snap of your fingers the minute the slave willfully disobeys you.
So...my orginal adivce still stands...work on yourself. Go out and accomplish something. You'll feal better about yourself, I promise.
< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 2/25/2007 4:38:43 AM >
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RE: Mr. Nice Guy is not Mr. Dom? - 
Profile
(I am sorry, as this last comment might offend about 90% of the members of collarme.com). Some might say that my "apology" comment in parentheses after the two smily faces is not a very dominant act as well. Your thoughts on the issue? 
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