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What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 10:13:44 AM   
MarieEge


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/21/2007
Status: offline 		What are the real statistics? Some people in the BDSM community say there are more subs than doms and othersay there are more doms than subs. What is the real statistic?

Is it really that there are not enough Doms of either sex for all the MALE subs? And that there are not enough FEMALE subs for all the Doms who prefer females?
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 10:16:10 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I have no idea, there's also a lot of people we really don't hear about.

Not to mention, are we accepting people's labels of themselves, or imposing our own definitions?

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MarieEge)
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 10:37:34 AM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		i dont think a survey was ever done.  So there is truely no way to find out

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i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 11:20:49 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		LA makes a good point, it depends on how choose to define these words, and I don't say that to be evasive.  Consider it this way.

If we took a quick survey CM profiles and compared the number of people who identify as dominant vs the number who identify as submissive we might get one answer (I'm really not sure what that might be, but if someone has a huge amount of spare time, nothing better to do and wants to count them all... well... I won't be holding my breath waiting).

If we said the number of male dominants vs the number of female dominants, you might very well get a picture of more dominants than submissives... but with qualfiers.

If you said female dominants vs male submissives, you'd likely get the opposite, more submissives.

Both are taking self proclaimed orientations at face value.

If you subtracted the number of male dominants and female submissives who had some genuine substance to back up that claim (and advertised themselves honestly)... I think you'd find the numbers of both drop dramatically with the submissives probably outnumbering the dominants (just my guess).

But as you can see, it really all depends on which dominants and what submissives you refer too.  All of which supposes you really curious enough to want to know.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to MarieEge)
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 11:44:35 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Almost all people who have ventured to guess to be honest always claim, define and phrase it in such away that it puts their category in the best light so therefore I take those comments with a grain of salt. By the time you get through the individual filters of who is sincere, who is really a dominant or submissive it always seems objectivity is totally lost.

My experience there are way more males in both roles then females in cyber land and in my time in local communities still more males then females although a much closer percentage. Part of that might be women are more social and men are more isolated. Who knows, just my .02 observation skills take it with a grain of salt. I will let others with egos and theoretical justifications explain why that is misleading to them.



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to Padriag)
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 2:58:25 PM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I have my doubts that the most people calling themselves doms and sub online are actually involved in any part of the scene but in their head. There certainly seems a lot of talk online but not very much action.

The only figures worth looking at are those in your local scene. In my local scene (the scene being functions I go to) there are more subs than doms but apparently that hasn't always been the case. The subs that turn up are game and put their money where their mouth is which is something one rarely hears about anyone online doing. Hmm I guess they can't if they are online.

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(in reply to MarieEge)
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 3:00:04 PM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Umm, good question but is it highly relevant to 'real people'?

I'm here for 'soap boxings n learning'  Who cares what the stats here or on other sites are unless you're a wannabe or can't get 'real' and get into a 'munch' or playparty etc.  A person who is known 'realtime' for just one appearance has more credibility that a person who plays in their own little lunchbox with likemindeds. 

Here in Oz- even the most remote located pple get to a real munch, the ol' actions speak louder than words.

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Dance as though nobody is watching!

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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 3:24:48 PM   
losttreasure


Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

The subs that turn up are game and put their money where their mouth is which is something one rarely hears about anyone online doing.


I've always figured that I'm rare. 




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Just because it isn't "all about me", doesn't make it "all about you".

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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 3:28:35 PM   
Carrianna


Posts: 273
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MarieEge

What are the real statistics? Some people in the BDSM community say there are more subs than doms and othersay there are more doms than subs. What is the real statistic?

Is it really that there are not enough Doms of either sex for all the MALE subs? And that there are not enough FEMALE subs for all the Doms who prefer females?

I have only been going to clubs for the last 7 years, only once or twice a year.  When ever I have gone there where always subs to be played with.  That is in the South West of the UK.

(in reply to MarieEge)
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 3:34:06 PM   
ravenairsprite


Posts: 28
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

one rarely hears about anyone online doing. Hmm I guess they can't if they are online.


Well first off I'm online.....I serve online too. I also serve in real life. I've been complimented for my service as both sub and slave. So does being online REALLY make me any less of a submissive? I don't think so.

To be honest you can fulfill someone online to some extant too. Think about it. Someone may get online because they are lonely and need someone to talk to. I'm here to talk to them. In a manner that IS a service. Sexual gratification. Well I used to model and I share some of those pictures and newer ones to satisfy their need.

I guess it all depends on how you define service, submissiveness, and slavery. I define it as being able to please someone. I also define it is being able to fulfill someones need. I don't know what else to say. It isn't so much that I don't do it real time. It's that I do it in both areas. (under certain conditions of course)

Respectfully,
Kali

(in reply to meatcleaver)
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 3:37:15 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		ravenairsprite I like the way you said that. Yes you can be of service online & no it does not have to be in a sexual manner. Yay, thanks.

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~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 3:43:07 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I have a question that I really do not want to be taken wrong. I just really have always tried to figure out how does someone actually serve online? I mean really serve, not just type words back and forth, but serve someone.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to cjenny)
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 3:52:45 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Ah see, it is all in the non sexual way. I ran a pretty large IRC room (100+) users often, I ran it like I was serving  JohnQ Chatters because I was.
It was my responsibility to maintain MOTD and the supervision/training of an OP team.
After time my room became known as a comfortable place where no one was permitted baiting or flaming nor minors. Those were my only rules  .
I was able to keep the room going as well as it did because of the effort I put into not just the computer tech aspects but also the emotion there. Sometimes I had to put hours into talking to someone who was unhappy or confused about things, and I was always glad to.

It was a service that I was happy to do for others.
My last job? It was a joy and something I will forever miss, working in a bookstore where again I served. I made a point of finding just the right book for you to explain death to a UM. Or the wonderful historical novel you hadn't heard of.

Short answer but I'm confidant you get the gist. It was non sexual yet gratifying for both me and the people I helped.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 3:54:28 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Now that makes total sense. I was not thinking about it along those lines, thank you.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to cjenny)
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 4:09:09 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		Serving online and serving a real person in real life are completely different.  I am not saying one is "better", but online submission restricts you to the written word and pictures.  The latter involves your whole body, mind and soul.  Silence as well as words.  There's no way to "sign out" for a while. 

So real life D/s is much harder (and much more rewarding for most people IME) but online D/s much more restrictive (and hence imaginative)

The question ought to be: are there more people identifying themselves as Doms or subs on the internet?  Is the ratio the same in real life D/s?

As pointed out, that depends on the make-up in your local scene. 

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 2/22/2007 4:14:18 PM >

(in reply to cjenny)
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 4:11:26 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		I never said I served in a BDSM way. I simply said that yes, I did indeed serve online.

The Mods here, serve us and the board no?

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 4:17:33 PM   
tricia


Posts: 231
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, they do - but i'm sure many don't identify as submissives.  I'm trying to understand your point.

(in reply to cjenny)
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 4:20:01 PM   
tricia


Posts: 231
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Driver1961, while i do belong to a submissive group with real time meetings, i have no desire to attend a munch or a play party.  Frankly, i have zero interest in men or women who only practice their 'dominance' at play parties and am quite content playing in my own little lunchbox - with my Master and couples of our choosing. 
 
Now, i'll apologize in advance if your point was to say, unless all of us plan on meeting up one day at the same play party - it doesn't much matter what the dominant/submissive ratio is here on collarme, for example.  Otherwise, please don't insinuate that because some people don't travel in your direction or your circle - they are going the wrong way.

(in reply to meatcleaver)
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 6:43:34 PM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		He dips His lid.

Tricia- I understand your point and yes I had difficulty explaining myself (It's 90+ degrees and I'd been working outside).

What I'm trying to say is-- regardless of statistics, it's One's actions that yields returns.   Looking at statistics (in this scenario) appears negative and 'setting oneself up' for failure.

There may be a drought, but if I nurture my surroundings for success (bucketing water, relieving plant stress) I will reap the reward- regardless of others failures.

I trust that has muddied the waters more- (Mud!  What's that?)

Warm regards to all, Driver, Sir to His loving Wildchild. 

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to tricia)
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RE: What are the real stats? - 2/22/2007 9:39:52 PM   
Vjklander


Posts: 41
Joined: 3/28/2004
Status: offline 		I  look at it as a sliding scale with Dominant on one end and submissive on the other. So where one is on the scale determines if there are more Dominants or submissives relative to that person. My sub is 100% sub and can't even give birthday spankings to other subs. Its just not her. I'm on the other extreme. But we often play with people in between who are Dominant to her and submissive to me. So, I just take people as they are and don't worry about generalizations. They are usually wrong anyway.

(in reply to Driver1961)
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