What are the real stats? (Full Version)

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MarieEge -> What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 10:13:44 AM)

What are the real statistics? Some people in the BDSM community say there are more subs than doms and othersay there are more doms than subs. What is the real statistic?

Is it really that there are not enough Doms of either sex for all the MALE subs? And that there are not enough FEMALE subs for all the Doms who prefer females?



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 10:16:10 AM)

I have no idea, there's also a lot of people we really don't hear about.

Not to mention, are we accepting people's labels of themselves, or imposing our own definitions?



Devilslilsister -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 10:37:34 AM)

i dont think a survey was ever done.  So there is truely no way to find out



Padriag -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 11:20:49 AM)

LA makes a good point, it depends on how choose to define these words, and I don't say that to be evasive.  Consider it this way.

If we took a quick survey CM profiles and compared the number of people who identify as dominant vs the number who identify as submissive we might get one answer (I'm really not sure what that might be, but if someone has a huge amount of spare time, nothing better to do and wants to count them all... well... I won't be holding my breath waiting).

If we said the number of male dominants vs the number of female dominants, you might very well get a picture of more dominants than submissives... but with qualfiers.

If you said female dominants vs male submissives, you'd likely get the opposite, more submissives.

Both are taking self proclaimed orientations at face value.

If you subtracted the number of male dominants and female submissives who had some genuine substance to back up that claim (and advertised themselves honestly)... I think you'd find the numbers of both drop dramatically with the submissives probably outnumbering the dominants (just my guess).

But as you can see, it really all depends on which dominants and what submissives you refer too.  All of which supposes you really curious enough to want to know.



toservez -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 11:44:35 AM)

Almost all people who have ventured to guess to be honest always claim, define and phrase it in such away that it puts their category in the best light so therefore I take those comments with a grain of salt. By the time you get through the individual filters of who is sincere, who is really a dominant or submissive it always seems objectivity is totally lost.

My experience there are way more males in both roles then females in cyber land and in my time in local communities still more males then females although a much closer percentage. Part of that might be women are more social and men are more isolated. Who knows, just my .02 observation skills take it with a grain of salt. I will let others with egos and theoretical justifications explain why that is misleading to them.




meatcleaver -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 2:58:25 PM)

I have my doubts that the most people calling themselves doms and sub online are actually involved in any part of the scene but in their head. There certainly seems a lot of talk online but not very much action.

The only figures worth looking at are those in your local scene. In my local scene (the scene being functions I go to) there are more subs than doms but apparently that hasn't always been the case. The subs that turn up are game and put their money where their mouth is which is something one rarely hears about anyone online doing. Hmm I guess they can't if they are online.



Driver1961 -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 3:00:04 PM)

Umm, good question but is it highly relevant to 'real people'?

I'm here for 'soap boxings n learning'  Who cares what the stats here or on other sites are unless you're a wannabe or can't get 'real' and get into a 'munch' or playparty etc.  A person who is known 'realtime' for just one appearance has more credibility that a person who plays in their own little lunchbox with likemindeds. 

Here in Oz- even the most remote located pple get to a real munch, the ol' actions speak louder than words.



losttreasure -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 3:24:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

The subs that turn up are game and put their money where their mouth is which is something one rarely hears about anyone online doing.


I've always figured that I'm rare.  [;)]





Carrianna -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 3:28:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarieEge

What are the real statistics? Some people in the BDSM community say there are more subs than doms and othersay there are more doms than subs. What is the real statistic?

Is it really that there are not enough Doms of either sex for all the MALE subs? And that there are not enough FEMALE subs for all the Doms who prefer females?

I have only been going to clubs for the last 7 years, only once or twice a year.  When ever I have gone there where always subs to be played with.  That is in the South West of the UK.



ravenairsprite -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 3:34:06 PM)

quote:

one rarely hears about anyone online doing. Hmm I guess they can't if they are online.


Well first off I'm online.....I serve online too. I also serve in real life. I've been complimented for my service as both sub and slave. So does being online REALLY make me any less of a submissive? I don't think so.

To be honest you can fulfill someone online to some extant too. Think about it. Someone may get online because they are lonely and need someone to talk to. I'm here to talk to them. In a manner that IS a service. Sexual gratification. Well I used to model and I share some of those pictures and newer ones to satisfy their need.

I guess it all depends on how you define service, submissiveness, and slavery. I define it as being able to please someone. I also define it is being able to fulfill someones need. I don't know what else to say. It isn't so much that I don't do it real time. It's that I do it in both areas. (under certain conditions of course)

Respectfully,
Kali



cjenny -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 3:37:15 PM)

ravenairsprite I like the way you said that. Yes you can be of service online & no it does not have to be in a sexual manner. Yay, thanks.



LaTigresse -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 3:43:07 PM)

I have a question that I really do not want to be taken wrong. I just really have always tried to figure out how does someone actually serve online? I mean really serve, not just type words back and forth, but serve someone.



cjenny -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 3:52:45 PM)

Ah see, it is all in the non sexual way. I ran a pretty large IRC room (100+) users often, I ran it like I was serving  JohnQ Chatters because I was.
It was my responsibility to maintain MOTD and the supervision/training of an OP team.
After time my room became known as a comfortable place where no one was permitted baiting or flaming nor minors. Those were my only rules [;)] .
I was able to keep the room going as well as it did because of the effort I put into not just the computer tech aspects but also the emotion there. Sometimes I had to put hours into talking to someone who was unhappy or confused about things, and I was always glad to.

It was a service that I was happy to do for others.
My last job? It was a joy and something I will forever miss, working in a bookstore where again I served. I made a point of finding just the right book for you to explain death to a UM. Or the wonderful historical novel you hadn't heard of.

Short answer but I'm confidant you get the gist. It was non sexual yet gratifying for both me and the people I helped.



LaTigresse -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 3:54:28 PM)

Now that makes total sense. I was not thinking about it along those lines, thank you.



MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 4:09:09 PM)

Serving online and serving a real person in real life are completely different.  I am not saying one is "better", but online submission restricts you to the written word and pictures.  The latter involves your whole body, mind and soul.  Silence as well as words.  There's no way to "sign out" for a while. 

So real life D/s is much harder (and much more rewarding for most people IME) but online D/s much more restrictive (and hence imaginative)

The question ought to be: are there more people identifying themselves as Doms or subs on the internet?  Is the ratio the same in real life D/s?

As pointed out, that depends on the make-up in your local scene. 



cjenny -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 4:11:26 PM)

I never said I served in a BDSM way. I simply said that yes, I did indeed serve online.

The Mods here, serve us and the board no?



tricia -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 4:17:33 PM)

Yes, they do - but i'm sure many don't identify as submissives.  I'm trying to understand your point.



tricia -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 4:20:01 PM)

Driver1961, while i do belong to a submissive group with real time meetings, i have no desire to attend a munch or a play party.  Frankly, i have zero interest in men or women who only practice their 'dominance' at play parties and am quite content playing in my own little lunchbox - with my Master and couples of our choosing. 
 
Now, i'll apologize in advance if your point was to say, unless all of us plan on meeting up one day at the same play party - it doesn't much matter what the dominant/submissive ratio is here on collarme, for example.  Otherwise, please don't insinuate that because some people don't travel in your direction or your circle - they are going the wrong way.



Driver1961 -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 6:43:34 PM)

He dips His lid.

Tricia- I understand your point and yes I had difficulty explaining myself (It's 90+ degrees and I'd been working outside).

What I'm trying to say is-- regardless of statistics, it's One's actions that yields returns.   Looking at statistics (in this scenario) appears negative and 'setting oneself up' for failure.

There may be a drought, but if I nurture my surroundings for success (bucketing water, relieving plant stress) I will reap the reward- regardless of others failures.

I trust that has muddied the waters more- (Mud!  What's that?)

Warm regards to all, Driver, Sir to His loving Wildchild. 



Vjklander -> RE: What are the real stats? (2/22/2007 9:39:52 PM)

I  look at it as a sliding scale with Dominant on one end and submissive on the other. So where one is on the scale determines if there are more Dominants or submissives relative to that person. My sub is 100% sub and can't even give birthday spankings to other subs. Its just not her. I'm on the other extreme. But we often play with people in between who are Dominant to her and submissive to me. So, I just take people as they are and don't worry about generalizations. They are usually wrong anyway.



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