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Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 5:50:22 PM

fortifiedsqual

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline

So i'm a sophomore in college and have been reading up on the scene and what it is to be a slave compared with a Mistress. I have learned a lot and found someone in my hometown (oh so lucky) to collar me.

My only fear is that it will interfere with college (i.e. thinking about my Mistress more than school work, even while trying to study). W/we have discussed the training and limits, all that good stuff. The only kink (no pun intended) to be worked out is whether or not time will permit with me going to college.

Could i have some experienced opinions and tips on how to make this work. Or, if Y/you do not think it will work, please let me know.

Post #: 1

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 5:54:18 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Like anything in life, it will only interfere if you let it. I am still in college and because of that, Valyraen has it so that I am obey every order - unless it interferes with my health or scholarly duties.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to fortifiedsqual)

Post #: 2

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 5:58:30 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

Anyone who would yank you out of school to serve them should be yanked out of the human race.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 3

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 6:00:13 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

It can be done. Whether you can/should do it has to be up to you and the relationship you want to get into. Being a slave doesn't mean you throw away your sense of self- it means you gain who you are in a relationship which affects the rest of your life. There are many masters who order their slaves to take classes and get good grades.

It's not about how many sodas you can get or how pretty you kneel- but how valuable you can be in the long term picture.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 4

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 6:04:01 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

i am a sophomore in college, and i've been collared since about halfway into my freshman year. honestly, it's really up to the two of you and whether you are willing to do the work it takes to try to manage school, work, and a relationship. He helps me out in this by being very adamant about my putting a lot of time into school, even when i'd much rather be with Him and even though i sometimes wish He were a bit more selfish ;) if you want to talk further, or have any specific questions about it, my cmail box on the other side is always open :)

(in reply to fortifiedsqual)

Post #: 5

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 6:08:49 PM

Driver1961

Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

He dips His lid,

I'm currently at University- (is that your College?) and it will depend almostly solely upon the 'deal' you may strike with your Dom/me or your sub.

The framework of responsibility to your D or sub should assist you in your studies rather than hinder if your expectations are clear and understood by the other party- otherwise it's a quagmire.

Should you be a sub (as you indicate at this stage) I caution again my last paragraph! Your Dom/me must be very conversant/agreeable to the demands of your Uni time and must be careful of 'subdrop' from any 'spacings' you may have the pleasure of doing. My biggest concern is the after effects of 'spacing' interferring.

regards Driver, Sir to His loving Wildchild.

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 6

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 6:10:41 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Speaking as a mom with a kid in college, I feel that school comes first, it is/should be your top priority, it is your future. That doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't serve. You should be clear about what your priority is and how the relationship will work around it.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to fortifiedsqual)

Post #: 7

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 6:18:05 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Take it from one going through this right now. It can work, but it is DEFINATELY not easy.
SChool does have to come first, which means our relationship comes second. Sometimes, that means plans get broken last minute, or we go extended periods without seeing one another or speaking much. Playtime is a very infrequent treat. It is stressful, and it can strain things at times.
However, thankfully, if someone is worth it, it is definately workable.

Speaking of, I am leaving shortly to go for attempt number 3 for birthday dinner. My birthday was Sunday, and he has had one school related or work rlated thing or another come up every time we have made plans... so this is the 3rd try. Wish me luck.

Other questions, feel free to PM. I am an unwilling self-proclaimed expert in this topic *sigh*

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 8

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 6:37:44 PM

behindmirrors

Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

Well, I'm a junior in college, and it's working alright for me. In fact, I think my Dom might appreciate the "alone time" a bit! There's a lot to balance, but you do what needs doing- and, I thrive on being busy.
I don't really know what to say, except if you want some advice on how to make it all work, just let me know.
Now, time to do homework.
behindmirrors.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 9

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 7:10:00 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Im a college student.. one of the things one of the rights Master gave me as a slave a promise he made befor locking the collar around my neck is that he would never do anything to effect my school work negativley that was one of the few inaliable rights that Master gave me alone with promising that he would never interfear negatively with my family as well... It has been working rather well... he knows the days I have classes and what times they are he keeps up with my grades and makes sure Im getting enough sleep when I have class the next day.. he also plans our scene time around my classes as well. I guess Im just rather lucky

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to behindmirrors)

Post #: 10

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 7:12:44 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

You will be the only one to cross the stage with a leash.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 11

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 7:16:07 PM

azzmaster

Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

college college college 1st. if ur mistress doesn't see dat get a new mistress who does

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 12

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 7:19:25 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fortifiedsqual

So i'm a sophomore in college and have been reading up on the scene and what it is to be a slave compared with a Mistress. I have learned a lot and found someone in my hometown (oh so lucky) to collar me.

My only fear is that it will interfere with college (i.e. thinking about my Mistress more than school work, even while trying to study). W/we have discussed the training and limits, all that good stuff. The only kink (no pun intended) to be worked out is whether or not time will permit with me going to college.

Could i have some experienced opinions and tips on how to make this work. Or, if Y/you do not think it will work, please let me know.

I started training Fox just a few months into his college life and he graduated right on schedule.

A dominant who accepts a slave who has as a goal to get a college degree should be supportive of that goal or, in my strong opinion, they should look for a different slave. Yes, you can indeed have a slave in college but you need to value their education as you would their health, their family of origin or their job. I think that anything which increases a slave's value is a good investment.

Now, we found out that it was easier on several levels for Fox to live with me and we did that at the end of his second year. Yes, we took things slow and purposely, that's how I like to persue my Ds so maximumize the chances of it succeeding for the long haul.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 2/22/2007 7:21:43 PM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to fortifiedsqual)

Post #: 13

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 8:39:29 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

It's not necessarily 'easy,' but it is do-able. I'm doing it right now---pretty sucessfully too.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 14

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 8:46:08 PM

Vjklander

Posts: 41
Joined: 3/28/2004
Status: offline

I consider an educated slave is sooooo much more valuable. If the slave is smart enough to go to college, certainly I would encouraged it.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 15

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 8:53:06 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

If she puts you on a homework regimen, it might help.

(in reply to fortifiedsqual)

Post #: 16

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 9:05:22 PM

fortifiedsqual

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline

I am very happy to see that many subs and Doms alike agree that school is much more important than the lifestyle. I was actually thinking i'd get a more varied response.

I think we are going to go for it, we have laid down plans for training and a homework regimen will be included. The homework regimen will be my greatest advantage in serving Her. I'm a lazy person when it comes to school, not service to Her, just school, and i think that being ordered to study for certain timeblocks will greatly improve my grades.

Thank you all for your quick replies!

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 17

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/22/2007 9:28:07 PM

Vjklander

Posts: 41
Joined: 3/28/2004
Status: offline

I wouldn't say education is more important than a D/s relationship. I see them as complementary.

(in reply to fortifiedsqual)

Post #: 18

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/23/2007 12:59:04 AM

Roksana

Posts: 41
Joined: 11/11/2005
Status: offline

I turn my stepbrother into my slave and dog, but I ensured his education, he has Engineering degree and also MBA.

(in reply to Vjklander)

Post #: 19

RE: Being collared and going to college -- will it work? - 2/23/2007 4:37:12 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

It can work if you want it to. I got married when I was married very young to my first husband. I was in school for 8 years...only one of those semesters (the first) was as a single person. However, school was made the priority. In some ways, being married to a Navy man made that easier...and harder.

I know lots of people, especially grad students, who are married. Some of them even have unmentionables. I don't think that's much different than being in a collared relationship.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to fortifiedsqual)

Post #: 20

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