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asking Dom... - 2/22/2007 9:10:56 PM   
byrdygirl


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/17/2007
Status: offline 		Anyone have pointers for asking Dom to accept me as sub? I will have my own ideas, and it will come from the heart..... just really looking for different perspectives....
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: asking Dom... - 2/22/2007 9:11:37 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: byrdygirl
Anyone have pointers for asking Dom to accept me as sub? I will have my own ideas, and it will come from the heart..... just really looking for different perspectives....

Ask him when he's awake and fully conscious "What do you think about getting involved with me as my dom?"

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to byrdygirl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: asking Dom... - 2/22/2007 9:12:48 PM   
byrdygirl


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/17/2007
Status: offline 		that easy, huh?

(in reply to byrdygirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: asking Dom... - 2/22/2007 9:29:58 PM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline 		It's that easy to ask. Convincing him to answer the way you want is totally up to the two of you!

(in reply to byrdygirl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: asking Dom... - 2/22/2007 9:31:40 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		How would you ask a man to be involved with you in a vanilla relationship? Not all that much different unless he's into high protocol. And then he should tell you how he wants you to do it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to byrdygirl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: asking Dom... - 2/22/2007 9:48:32 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: byrdygirl

Anyone have pointers for asking Dom to accept me as sub? I will have my own ideas, and it will come from the heart..... just really looking for different perspectives....


My personal view, which others do not have to share, because it is my personal view... if a dom is really into you and wants you, they will let you know. You would not need to ask him. But that is just my understanding and the way it works in my life. When I was younger I have waited to see if a man that I was hot for returned the feelings, and I came to realize, if they returned the feelings I would not be waiting.

This all flies out the window though if you have been friends for a long while.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to byrdygirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: asking Dom... - 2/22/2007 10:04:15 PM   
SirRober


Posts: 364
Joined: 1/2/2006
Status: offline 		well you could always  go to him , kneel and ask him to be your dom.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: asking Dom... - 2/22/2007 10:44:18 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		If the stupid slut doesn't know the secret handshake, I kill them.

(in reply to SirRober)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: asking Dom... - 2/22/2007 10:52:49 PM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		There's a handshake? Oh i knew i was suppose to read something.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: asking Dom... - 2/22/2007 11:58:39 PM   
Sternhand4


Posts: 422
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		Begging  for a collar might work for you...

(in reply to CrazyC)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: asking Dom... - 2/23/2007 2:19:57 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with julia.  I'm sure if he's into you, you'll see various "signals".  Once you see them, simply asking would seem to be in order.

(in reply to byrdygirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: asking Dom... - 2/23/2007 5:45:46 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		*the following are my personal opinions and experiences*

i never asked Daddy to be my Daddy when we first met. He found and chose me as His daughter not because of my submissiveness but because we connected on some many different levels that weren't BDSM-related

i never asked Him if He would like my gift of submission. He already knew that one day there would come a time that i would freely give my submissiveness to Him by accepting his chain and collar.

my advice: i wouldn't ask nor would i bring up the subject  if he wants to accept you as his sub, then he will choose you when the time is right for him, not when the time is right for you. from my pov, it seems you might be rushing him into something perhaps he's not ready for. it's almost like a "forced" submission on your part upon him which you might regret doing later if things don't work out between you two.  i suggest that you be patient and wait ...believe me allowing him choose you would have a more memorable effect in your submission to him than the way you are going about it now.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to byrdygirl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: asking Dom... - 2/23/2007 6:26:49 AM   
viperess


Posts: 290
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings,

SirRober said it best. The way i was taught was to kneel before Him, arms above my head, wrists crossed, and after being granted permission to speak, ask.

_____________________________

viperess slave of BlackTarnHeart
heart and chain sister to velvetvixen68

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: asking Dom... - 2/23/2007 7:45:24 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Sheesh we all talk so much about how IMPORTANT communication is, but we're all sitting around looking for signs rather than just having a direct conversation?  if it's important to you, then bring it up.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to viperess)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: asking Dom... - 2/23/2007 8:27:06 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Have you met one yet with whom you have a connection or is that projection? It makes a difference.

If the relationship is strong, the connection is strong on both sides, then by the time the discussion of collaring comes up it should be moot. You should both feel this strongly.

I demurred when he said he wanted to, but not because I didn't want it, simply because I couldn't see how it would work in a LDR. He understood that and we discussed the details until I felt comfortable but at no point did either of us feel we both weren't equally interested.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: asking Dom... - 2/23/2007 8:41:51 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		For me after talking for a few hours i knew i wanted to be his so i asked him if he woulkd be my Master.  Of course i was not collared at that time we were just starting out .  Now i have been collared for a while and we will be together a year shortly.  I don't think it is a bad thing to ask.

Matt's littleone

< Message edited by littleone35 -- 2/23/2007 8:56:02 AM >

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: asking Dom... - 2/23/2007 7:04:17 PM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline 		We had been talking about where our relationship was heading so we both knew it was moving towards a M/s for us. When i felt ready i gave him a card that requested a dinner and an audience with him. He accepted and i took him out for dinner, then at home had a formal audience with him where i had a formal petition for ownership and collar. 

He accepted and started to put me through my paces for about 3 months before He collared me.  At the collaring my promises were the petition where i had offered myself to him but worded now as a promise.  

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: asking Dom... - 2/23/2007 7:07:21 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: byrdygirl

Anyone have pointers for asking Dom to accept me as sub? I will have my own ideas, and it will come from the heart..... just really looking for different perspectives....


Just ask. If he/she thinks your too forward... don't sweat it. I for one appreciate initiative.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to byrdygirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: asking Dom... - 2/23/2007 7:19:07 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: byrdygirl

Anyone have pointers for asking Dom to accept me as sub? I will have my own ideas, and it will come from the heart..... just really looking for different perspectives....
I say go with your own ideas and from your heart as you have stated..what more could any Dominant ask for?....Tempting

(in reply to byrdygirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: asking Dom... - 2/23/2007 7:32:21 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Sheesh we all talk so much about how IMPORTANT communication is, but we're all sitting around looking for signs rather than just having a direct conversation?  if it's important to you, then bring it up.


Maybe this is a personal flaw, I have just decided that it should not be important to me unless it is important to them. And I was raised to be old fashioned and found it served me better to be that way...lol

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 20
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