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RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 2:21:59 PM   
BabyNyla


Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
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I think since my husband shipped off to Iraq he appreciates me even more than he did before.  He often comments that he misses the lil things I do for him, like laundry, making his lunches and waking him up in the morning.  This has been nice because it makes him send me flowers to my work when he gets lonely thinking about it ... and I love knowing that he realizes it.  I have also tried to show him appreciation for being my Daddy.  I have written him every single day since he's been gone amd I constantly send him packages of food, dvds, etc.  So I think it makes us love and value each other more and more.


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RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 5:42:12 PM   
novicecourtesan


Posts: 116
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline 		FukinTroll:

I though your appreciation of your slave was very beautiful and probably my favorite thing that you've written!

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RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 5:58:17 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		All of your answers have inspired me.. thank you all for sharing them....

I find myself in deep appreciation often for what I have, and near the top of the list I am in complete gratitude that I can trust the person I am with not to harm a hair on my head, and I can be myself with him. I am in awe of it sometimes.. because although vanilla people have just as deep of relationships as the we do... for me it feels more substantial because it meets my needs. I went my entire life without my needs met, and I will never kick this gift horse in the mouth.

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RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 5:59:17 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll
Well LA LA if bitter and cynical works for you, who am I to judge? Your kink is not my kink and that is okay.

There's quite a difference between "bitter/cynical" and "realistic."

Saying "Men are not better than women" isn't a bitter and cynical statement, it's just reality.

Ds and Ms relationships are no better than vanilla relationships in general.

They are also no worse.


LA LA, I do appreciate and respect your posts and the fact that you are an awesome easy button we are going to just have to disagree here.
 
It may be your experience that has lead you to the dissection of my post, however it is an experience we do not share. I have an expectation of a D/s M/S relationship being realized just as I have posted. It may work for me, and not others. The fact of the matter is it is how I feel and nothing will change that.
 
As for subs and slaves considering D's weak for being passionate and caring... talk is pretty cheap. I see the same subs/slaves screaming that they don't want to be a doormat.
 
We can look at the....
 
Why did he/she do this to me?
Is he/she wrong?
Help, My D almost killed me!
 
... crap and weigh that against many of the strong and vibrant relationships that exist here and the posts of the members of this forum seeking strong, vibrant, honest and healthy relationships and I will hands down choose my reality over yours.
 
I am sorry that your reality is suspicious and that you feel that a passionate and caring D is a thing of fairytales. Nevertheless, I choose to make my post a reality and am willing, obviously, to wait until that is realized. Mrs.UmightDo doesn’t do it for me.

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RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 6:01:09 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
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quote:

ORIGINAL: novicecourtesan

FukinTroll:

I though your appreciation of your slave was very beautiful and probably my favorite thing that you've written!



Thank you.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 6:10:07 PM   
azzmaster


Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		oh yes. gratitude makes the world go round

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RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 8:14:04 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll
I am sorry that your reality is suspicious and that you feel that a passionate and caring D is a thing of fairytales.

Where did I say that finding a passionate and caring dom is a think of fairytales?

I'm perfectly willing to state that FOR YOU, Ds is obviously more fulfilling than vanilla would be.  Because you aren't vanilla.

For a vanilla person, a Ds relationship would suck for them.

What I said, very clearly, was that IN GENERAL no type of relationship is better than another.

For A PARTICULAR person, A PARTICULAR relationship may indeed be amazing deep and wonderful and better than anything they ever knew could exist- I know that's what I consider my relationship with my partner to be and we're vanilla.

There are wonderful amazing people in Ds and Ms.  And there are crappy assholes.

The same is true of vanilla life.

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RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 8:21:44 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		LA LA which one of your posts are we suppose to give merit to here?
 The first one in which you are posting your appreciation of your D/s relationship, the second one where you are making sweeping statements to devalue my post, the third one where you are trying to implicate me as a confederate to you sweeping statements, or the fifth one where your shout button is working and you are no longer appreciating your D/s relationship but pointing out you are vanilla?

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 8:21:57 PM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		when I find what I seek , yes I will be one appreciative sub.......

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RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 8:26:50 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll
LA LA which one of your posts are we suppose to give merit to here?
 The first one in which you are posting your appreciation of your D/s relationship

No, my first post was appreciation to MY PARTNER. 

quote:

 the second one where you are making sweeping statements to devalue my post,

The second was contradicting YOUR sweeping statements and saying that there is no better/worse type of relationship in general.

quote:

 the third one where you are trying to implicate me as a confederate to you sweeping statements,

The third was pointing out that I wasn't being cynical- merely observant and logical.
quote:


or the fifth one where your shout button is working and you are no longer appreciating your D/s relationship but pointing out you are vanilla?

I've always said that my relationship with my partner is vanilla- this is no news to the boards.  We are both switches, we switch together, but there is no expectation of authority dynamics between us.

This is the internet- take credibility in whichever posts you want.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 2/23/2007 8:27:03 PM >

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RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 8:28:45 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		So would that be light switches or what?

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 8:31:44 PM   
MistressDoMe


Posts: 295
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		Do people do anything else here besides argue and pick each others posts apart?
I see that all the time, can't we agree to have differences here?
Why must everyone be the expert?

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 8:35:55 PM   
thaimeeuppppp


Posts: 58
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		I think gratitude and appreciation is what being a sub is about. At least for me. I think that in BDSM we are more attuned to it, because we think more about our actions than vanilla people. At least people who are serious about this lifestyle like I am. Appreciation is love.
thank you

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RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 8:39:48 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Do people do anything else here besides argue and pick each others posts apart?


Yes, they do. But I agree that it can get eclipsed by the sparring in some theads.

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it's never enough to keep up.

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RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 8:50:47 PM   
MBETWO


Posts: 21
Joined: 1/13/2007
Status: offline 		I constantly take mine for granted, but I'm working on it.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 8:52:46 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thaimeeuppppp
I think gratitude and appreciation is what being a sub is about. At least for me. I think that in BDSM we are more attuned to it, because we think more about our actions than vanilla people. At least people who are serious about this lifestyle like I am. Appreciation is love.
thank you

Yes, but so are people who are serious about their marriages.  I wouldn't have the arrogance to tell my sister that her marriage isn't as attuned to Owned's slavery to her owner.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 8:57:03 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		LA LA are you just pissing on posts today for the sake of it? Did you even read the title of this thread? Are you aware that this is a BDSM site and the people, who would have posted here before the microscope arrived, are posting about their appreciation of their D/s dynamics?
 
What is up with you today?

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

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The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/23/2007 11:54:53 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Aww...that is a shame cjenny.  It has happened to me a time
or two.  Is there anything going on with the power in your place
or is your browser acting up?

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny
edit, well doesnt that figure? the choppy post goes thru, the wordy full of prose happy one goes into the wild blue yonder. official sulk.


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/24/2007 12:12:34 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, telling and showing your appreciation in a relationship is very
important.  Positive reinforcement is a great way to keep the energy
flowing smoothly and all partner(s) happy.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Appreciation and the D/s Dynamic - 2/24/2007 4:38:10 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

I find myself in deep appreciation often for what I have, and near the top of the list I am in complete gratitude that I can trust the person I am with not to harm a hair on my head, and I can be myself with him. I am in awe of it sometimes.. because although vanilla people have just as deep of relationships as the we do... for me it feels more substantial because it meets my needs. I went my entire life without my needs met, and I will never kick this gift horse in the mouth.


Ah, Julia, that is beautiful.  There are a few couples on the board who are in relationships that I find myself envious of and that I hold up as relationships similar to what I would like to eventually find for myself.  You and your Daddy are one of those couples.  The things in italics are the things that I struggle with, and always have.  Instead of allowing a relationship to evolve into something (or nothing), in the past I've always tried to be perfect in relationships, thinking that I could make them work.  Even when my needs were not being met. 

It's wonderful to hear that it is possible to have everything.

Hugs,
Katy

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- Albert Einstein

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Profile   Post #: 40
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