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[Poll]

Telemarketers - Yay or Nay?

They called me first. I can say whatever I feel like saying!

47% (20)

I answer politely, but do not purchase things from them.

4% (2)

Do they taste anything like chicken?

19% (8)

I AM a telemarketer!

4% (2)

What the hell is a telemarketer?

0% (0)

I'm lost. Can someone point me to the zombie thread?

7% (3)

I'm so going to hijack your thread!

16% (7)

Total Votes : 42

(last vote on : 8/16/2007 12:33:41 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 12:02:22 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

Telemarkets... Do you screw with them when they call or are you polite? Have any real amusing lines you've used when they call? If so... post them here! Feel free to vent about how they always seem to call *right* when you've begun to eat dinner.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

Post #: 1

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 12:10:30 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I don't get many telemarketers because my number is on the national Do-Not-Call List, and surprisingly enough that actually seems to work.

The calls I do get tend to be fucking recordings, especially around Election Day. Also, some dead guy had my number before me, and now and then people call trying to sell him a long-distance plan or whatever.

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 2/24/2007 12:11:21 AM >

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Post #: 2

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 12:13:34 AM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

As soon as Caller ID comes up with sumthin I don't know I go strait into my east indian Neo Joffe Guwembi voice and try to sell them stuff.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 3

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 12:14:10 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my tailbone is sore from when I fell down some steps yesterday, my dog just died... "
~~~~
If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
~~~
After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
~~~
Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
~~~
(This works great if you are male or can deepen your tone.)
Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. "
You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

More to come.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Post #: 4

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 12:18:07 AM

soultoshare

Posts: 519
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

i get very solemn, and in my best mourning voice, kindly tell them that whomever they are looking for just died that morning. Seems to work everytime! They don't call me the Evil One for nuttin!

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Post #: 5

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 12:20:18 AM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

Hey cool! Evil One. I have a little voice in my head I call evil fuk'r, think they are related?

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to soultoshare)

Post #: 6

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 12:22:20 AM

poplolly

Posts: 159
Joined: 10/7/2006
From: Edmonton
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia

If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my tailbone is sore from when I fell down some steps yesterday, my dog just died... "
~~~~
If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
~~~
After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
~~~
Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
~~~
(This works great if you are male or can deepen your tone.)
Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. "
You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

More to come.

You are truly evil and I LOVE how your mind works. My son's favorite is to answer with: "House of God. God speaking." Most people have absolutely no reply and will often hang up. Too funny!!

_____________________________

"I am selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't ACCEPT me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!"
~~ Marilyn Monroe.

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Post #: 7

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 12:22:56 AM

soultoshare

Posts: 519
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

that's a distinct possiblity.....maybe 2nd cousins twice removed on their aunt's sister's in laws side.......

(in reply to FukinTroll)

Post #: 8

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 12:26:36 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

*Laughs* Thank you... thank you. I try my best. Here's another few:

If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
~~~
When they introduce themselves: "Hi. This is Judy from ABC Inc." cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
~~~
Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and tell them if they bring you some beer and a stripper you're willing to do business with them.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to poplolly)

Post #: 9

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 12:36:13 AM

sharemeuk

Posts: 52
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline

i hope i'm not breaking the laws of collarme by posting this but it's relevant and sooooo funny!

http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

enjoy!
x

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Post #: 10

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 12:53:10 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

It wasn't a telemarketer, least I don't think it was, but the phone rand and thinking it was daddy james I answered with a meooooooooooow and all I got was some female voice saying sorry then hung up.

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Post #: 11

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 1:05:52 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

I remember reading that Jim Morrison, singer and lyricist for
The Doors, would answer the phone by saying, "Morrison
Mortuary, you stab 'em we slab 'em!"

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Post #: 12

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 10:32:33 AM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

Generally, I look at caller ID and don't even pick up the phone if I don't recognize the number, so they rarely get through to me. If I happen to answer the phone without thinking, and get one of them, I politely say, "I'm not interested, thank you," then hang up even if they're still talking.

I did telemarketing myself at one time, so I am not totally hateful to them.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Post #: 13

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 10:37:37 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

I guess I am a bit of a freak.. I answer the phone and talk with them. I like surveys tooooo & the long form of the census

.
One of my first jobs was as a telemarketer & I remember how hard it was getting the phone slammed in my ear 8 hours a day, so I give them a break.

Don't you dare knock on my door though, I draw the line at that.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 14

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 10:47:25 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I was centrally involved in the creation of telemarketing before any whorish miasmatic less than human did it.

I---I --- I---
never mind, if you have done the DMA call lists and the government list to remove you,
When they ask for Ron Walleye or whatever, do not answer when they say are you Ron? Simply repeat your request to see who they are...as long as they are not answering other than they represent-----just run it in the ground
once they tell you their name is kyle---

For Fucks sake, find out who is fucking who, and their sexual proclivities and whether or not they believe in ---(whatever)

keep them on the phone as long as you can, and never talk about the 'product' because they can say that shit to anyone-----

Do you realize what it does to a telemarketers stats to have an hour conversation (sometimes monitored) and not make a sale? That is far worse than calling them cocksuckers or ranting at them, they may remove you from their call list without your asking.

Ron
(or you can just say, you called me 15 seconds ago, and I just told you the same thing, or I ordered it or whatever-----good lead in to a good time)

Ron, again

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

Post #: 15

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 11:00:37 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

As funny as that is it's probably a spoof, most telemarket'ers are trained to hang up the minute people start saying stupid shit. They would be in big trouble if they engaged in the bullshittery, because it's wasting time, and time is money.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharemeuk

i hope i'm not breaking the laws of collarme by posting this but it's relevant and sooooo funny!

http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

enjoy!
x

(in reply to sharemeuk)

Post #: 16

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 11:13:50 AM

RosaB

Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

You people are totally twisted.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 17

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 11:21:00 AM

DCWoody

Posts: 1401
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline

Telemarketer: "Hi this is Mandy from Squeegy carpet cleaners....."

Wood: "Hi this is Wood from coldseal windows, we've currently got a sale with 80% off......"

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 18

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 11:32:24 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

All you have to do is put your name on the do not call list...Politicians and some charities still can call...otherwise get rid of your land line and use a cell....End of story and stop your bitching

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/24/2007 11:35:13 AM >

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(in reply to DCWoody)

Post #: 19

RE: Telemarketers - Yay or Nay? - 2/24/2007 11:48:19 AM

Mikal

Posts: 3673
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sharemeuk

i hope i'm not breaking the laws of collarme by posting this but it's relevant and sooooo funny!...

Halarious! As much as I'd like to try something like that, I doubt I'd be able to keep from laughing

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to sharemeuk)

Post #: 20

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