RE: Beginner Dom

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desoutter -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 7:16:57 AM)
I have to jump in! quote: ORIGINAL: MzBerlin Focus- Learning different aspects of the lifestyle are important. Developing a skill set is essential if you want to be involved in different aspects of BDSM. That's why so many different classes are offered- because there is a need for them in the community. I don't think that attending events is of "percieved" importance. It IS important to many members of the community. It's a place to get feedback, learn new skills (as I mentioned above), and explore your place in the "scene". The OP didn't state his desires as far as the structure of his interaction with a fem/sub, and the emphasis is not always weighted towards "mere" physical play. And physical play skills are not all that you can learn from a group of peers or a class (or book or website). Different types of PE are out there, and learning about them as well as sharing your own is an important part of growing as a person w/in that dynamic. You really should think before you speak. Really. B MZBerlin - hits the nail on the head like no other!! Example - I started very early in this lifestyle - As a young man I traveled quite a bit to europe for family - I think thats where it all started for me - 'Lessing Strasse' in SeeStadt - where all the hookers are! hehe - I was sixteen years old. What I found was that these woman were beautiful, understanding, funny and just loved life. Thats when I got my first taste - A woman I met who showed me the ropes - so to speak! So at 17 years old in CBGB's - NYC - I met a couple of girls into BDSM - OH JA! I know about that! 'I KNOW all ABOUT that!' Of course it didnt take me, or them, long to know that I knew nothing! The process for me has taken a very long time - I learn something new everyday... even with years of experience I would never tell someone - "I know it all!" or "I've done it all!" Every D/s relationship has its own dynamic - true to itself - and must be discovered over time. Every individual woman I meet - I assume nothing... but discover her secrets in time. I ask myself everyday - Is this woman for me? Am I true to myself? What is my goal in this relationship? What are her goals? Answers come in time - The most fundamental skills, in my eyes - are understanding yourself, being comfortable in your own skin... It's possible to make mistakes... and 'NEVER' try to be what you are not. Taggard - MZ Berlin - Cheers! very insightful thoughts.

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 7:19:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 I concede you nailed me on that one.... Writing voyeur when I meant exhibitionist is obvious proof that I'm some wannabe, ay? No, but it is proof that you are a bit out of your league in this debate. Just so you know, when you claim someone "quoted out of context" it implies that the context would change the meaning of the words quoted. I will admit it seems you have some grasp of the concept (or perhaps just gained some). The example you give is a good one, as if I were to quote you as saying "I'm some wannabe" it would indeed be out of context (but probably fairly accurate wink). Now, I challenge you to find a single quote I have attributed to you that would change meaning when more context was given? The one example you did give, was your "6 or 7 doms per sub" quote. You provided the charge, I defended my interpretation, providing even more context and supporting evidence of my interpretation. You simply screamed "OUT OF CONTEXT" again... repeating a charge does not make it true. Buddy, you have done a horrible job of introducing yourself to this board. This is one of the best message boards I have ever been involved with and it would be a shame if you piss off everyone and miss out on the wealth of infomation that can be found here. I am willing to cut you some newbie slack and back off your posts, if you can find a way to be a bit less...ummm...assertive in your opinions. Listen a bit before you launch an attack. There is a lot to learn from the combined wisdom of this group. Taggard

Archer -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 10:45:21 AM)
Committment to learning what? I got from the OP that he's looking for a sub of his own - a fulltime partner. I have no knowledge of Newark but if there's a decent population there, there'll be a fem/sub or two about so it's easy to understand if he's reluctant to travel thousands of miles to begin with.... But I am curious myself.... I've had similar exchanges with Taggard but you don't seem prone to his theatrics; so just what is the perceived importance of attending events etc other than they can be a great place to meet someone initially? And, referring to your first post, is it "normal" for everyone over there to treat subs almost like used cars - to "try before you buy", so to speak? Is the emphasis always so heavily weighted toward mere physical play rather than a greater control-controlled dynamic? Surely it's possible the OP just wants a private D/s or M/s relationship.... Anyone, Dom,sub or vanilla, can be taught to tie knots or swing a flogger etc but there's no teaching or learning a dominant (or submissive) mindset - you've got that or you haven't and the OP firmly believes he has it. But the best judge of that will ultimately be a fem/sub rather than some public display of "skills".... Focus50.[/color][/font] [/quote] First off a little information so that you can have an idea of where Newark NJ is it's just a very few miles from New York City, where there are many groups and several S&M clubs, Some of the groups there have been active since the 70's. So my observation was made from an informed possition. I do however still reccomend new people get involved in RT face to face groups reguardless of their location, in the same 4 hours that you spend cruising profiles online you could be face to face with people, and the communication that can occure face to face trumps internet anytime. Apparantly you don't know that the class listings of many if not most events deal with the mental dynamic as well. Certainly the physical skills classes are most often the crowded ones but I can name a dozen or more presenters who give classes on the mental emotional and spiritual levels of BDSM and Leather. You think all those books that people read have everything the authors can offer you? I've been able to sit down with some of the leather ledgends because I spend time at these events. Many of the presenters are people with decades of RT experience, the chance to actually ask them questions and learn from them directly is priceless. We seem to have a very different view of natural ability and it's importance. You can have all the natural tallent in the world but without instruction from experienced people that talent never develops into what it could. You can have a small ammount of talent and develope it into something really good. Certainly natural talent is nessisary to a certain level, but what you do with that talent through practice and learning from people who know more is the reall diffeence between being the major leages and AAA minors. I'm not saying it's a "try before you buy" that's you reading into things, the first few people I played with physicly were people who were collared to other people, loaned to me to help me learn the basics of physical play under their Dominants supervision, after that I played with people as I could find them negotiated for limited single scenes, face to face. Some of those developed into regular scene partners, later I actually collared a slave, that ended after about a year, I collared another a year or so later, and have been with her for 6 years. Single submissives like to play sometimes too while they await the time they find a Dominant, that time can be well spent learning things they like don't like so that they can make a better informed decission about what Dominant fit's their needs best. I'm strictly talking RT here I only go only for discussion and networking. Most often there is a time when physical play is what it is limited to, physical play is not nearly a deep and personal as mental/emotional play, So basicly physical play is considered much like a dateing period It' public play so no "sex" and supervised by the community so that the dangers of being alone with someone you know only a little bit is mitigated. It's basicly Chaperoned play. OP may very well have a natural talent, I'm sure he believes he does, and that's great. But to develope that talent to the level I like to see takes spending some time learning the finer points from people who've been at this for awhile. If nothing else you get to avoid some of the pitfalls that the books and online don't teach you about, and that can be very dangerous to find out the hard way. Your way though as I read it is for some subissive to simply trust a profile meet OP and go from there. My way is for OP to go out and meet people and SHOW prospective submissives that he is indead a good safe person to trust their body mind and soul to. You earn a reputation and let that reputation be your advertisement for a slave. In Leather Archer Hope that that helps with your questions and has few enough theatrics for you, LOL

Alexander -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 11:38:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: desoutter Every D/s relationship has its own dynamic - true to itself - and must be discovered over time. Every individual woman I meet - I assume nothing... but discover her secrets in time. I ask myself everyday - Is this woman for me? Am I true to myself? What is my goal in this relationship? What are her goals? Answers come in time - The most fundamental skills, in my eyes - are understanding yourself, being comfortable in your own skin... It's possible to make mistakes... and 'NEVER' try to be what you are not. In l33t speak desoutter: you r0xx0r. But I think I slightly disagree with Mzb on one issue. I think it is because I think that "skillsets" (great term) ought to get bumped down the ranks of what's important in a dominant. Already I can see that lots of new young big D's have plenty of practice tossing a whip. More then me in many cases yet have no experience with the female mind. One thing I've been thinking about lately is how much over emphasis there is on the play and how little emphasis there is on the relationship dynamics. Archer's talking about "talent" and "skill" in another vein and I am forced to think, well Alex, you could never be with a much more experienced submissive because she would need or be looking for the level of talent and skill that you simply wouldn't have. But I think that would really be misjudging the importance of the human connections we're making here if I were to believe that. Intimacy is not found at the end of a flogger on either end. Intimacy is found in the conversations and emotional/mental chemistry of two people. While we can certainly 'play' with the human objects who make themselves available endlessly for our amusement, it is true sadism to be indifferent to them as emotional beings. In that sense, I reject the "play" scene as a meaningful way to meet people you might be interested in being with. Once you discover a woman is submissive, the question becomes, is she submissive to me? And if so, can we have a decent conversation beyond those facts? I become distracted by all the talk of "who knows what and how well do they know it" from a more important meat of the matter for new dominants, how can you discern the pleasure of possession and play from a real emotional connection? Isn't it possible that the rarity of finding that pleasure is sometimes making it hard to see that some connections are merely superficial? Does it matter? Do submissives accept that they might be sacrificing intimacy for service or do they "hold out" for "the one" which in itself can be an isolating endeavor? Should a dominant give a damn or just 'practice"? Of course I am being naive because people have been meeting each other through the leather community for years and many have found what they sought, but maybe theres something many people forget about (especially new people) while they are doing it. Being submissive or dominant is just the common ground. It's just this thing we have in common. Once you find that common ground after that, it's about what occurs when two pairs of eyes meet more then who knows what to do with a whip. Alex.

MzBerlin -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 11:44:30 AM)
Alex- I'm not saying that having "skills" related to the physical expression of BDSM are the end-all be-all. I'm simply saying that if you want to participate in the physical expression of such that you really should get out and about and collaborate with other people. The poster I was responding to said that organized meetings were of a "percieved" importance, and that physical skills were "mere" physical skills. I just wanted to point out that they do have importance and a place in the community. Personally, I feel that your attitude and personal leanings go a lot farther than an advanced skill set (and I have met people like that!!). I just don't think that having a skill set should be discounted. Also, in defining "skills" I didn't frame it to mean "physical play" skills alone. Understanding the submissive mindset is also a skill. Hell, understanding women at ALL is also a skill. [:)] B

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 11:59:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MzBerlin Hell, understanding women at ALL is also a skill. At times I think that understanding women at ALL is a metaphysical impossibility! Love your posts!!! Taggard

Alexander -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 12:01:07 PM)
Oh yeah. Thats why I can only 'slightly disagree'. while tying to highlight that thing desoutter is talking about. The sort of inter personal side. To be honest I am not sure where the physical play side fits into that intimacy equation in the end. Its like the cross indexing of fetish stuff on b.com we talked about. I can't get beyond the image of two people sitting at a table comparing their interests and when they get to the shirabi part they have to break up. I think a part of my mind is working on this idea that says, all this fetish talk is like joining the ski club, In the end you know you are going to get some snow for sure but will you actually meet anyone worth knowing off the slopes? ok so its a lame analogy so far. [8\|] Alex.

MzBerlin -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 12:04:08 PM)
Taggard- Thankyou, Thankyou.... B Alex- I totally get what you're saying, and agree on some levels. B

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 12:05:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alexander Intimacy is not found at the end of a flogger on either end. Intimacy is found in the conversations and emotional/mental chemistry of two people. Not everyone is in the scene to find intimacy. There are those who are here to exercise a desire that is quite different from intimacy, but can share much of its power and importance. I understand where you are coming from, I just don't see it applying to everyone... Taggard

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 12:16:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alexander I can't get beyond the image of two people sitting at a table comparing their interests and when they get to the shirabi part they have to break up. For many, it really is all about the kink.... I wouldn't say I go that far, but if someone isn't willing to work up a contract with me, there is no way it will go very far. quote: I think a part of my mind is working on this idea that says, all this fetish talk is like joining the ski club, In the end you know you are going to get some snow for sure but will you actually meet anyone worth knowing off the slopes? Not so lame... I agree with it one most levels. I really resisted joining my local kink club because I really didn't click with anyone off the slopes. Taggard

Archer -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 1:42:29 PM)
quote: it is true sadism to be indifferent to them as emotional beings WHo said anything about being indiferent, I'm talking about negotiated scenes with both parties having given informed consent as to what the scene is or is not going to be. That certainly means that you have had a conversation, and it certainly means that you have discussed the emotional aspects of that scene and how far they will or will not go. And assuming that we are talking about competent adults both parties get something out of it. Submissives get some experience as well that will serve them in being better able to negotiate for a lasting relationship. Just like dateing prepareed you for the next level of relationship. Physical skill sets are not the only skill sets that I am talking about either, emotional and mental skill sets can be taught to people with a basic level of natural talent. I reject your it's either or concept in your statement "Should a dominant give a damn or just 'practice"? It's not either or, you can do both, submissives are not that fragile or naive, generally, if you negotiate the scene as a flogging scene and you have the ethics to not let the scene progress into a deep submission scene, nobody come out hurt in any bad way. Just like ou are supposed to have the ethics to not allow a first dinner date turn into a sex date without first confirming that all parties are ready to progress to that. That's why scenes are negotiated before hand and subspace is generally held to be a condition where informed consent can no longer be given. I mention the mental and emotional skillsets as well, and that is gotten within a community by playing under supervision with an experienced Dominant acting as a coach, calling your attention to the little things you don't know to look for yet as a new Dominant. Guideing you mentoring you. That is goten at an event when you go to a class presented by an Old Rope with years and sometimes decades of D/s M/s experience. If you look at the class offerings carefully you find a general trend that Old Ropes generally teach the mental and spiritual classes Younger Dominants teach the physical skill sets. The physical skill sets are often learned first because small mistakes in physical skills usually result in small easly healed injuries, Small mistakes in Mental and Spiritual skill sets can result in years of hard to cure damage. You are being taught awareness and self dicipline that are the nessisary precoursors to mental and spiritual aspects of a relationship. You may have a talent for both but they need to be developed to a level where they allow you to work on that emotional and spiritual level. Basic exercises conditioning your mind in preperation for later. I've never met anyone NEW to BDSM who had enough natural talent to operate on the mental and emotional level without some ammount of conditioning. In Leather Archer In other words I can more easily see trusting someone new with your body than your soul.

Alexander -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 2:33:51 PM)
Archer: I didnt mean you , or even to mean you said that, more just making a point about it, thinking in text in other words. You said something which I think goes to the heart of the conflict for me. (with the understanding that its MY conflict not yours or anyone else in the community.) You write: quote: I'm talking about negotiated scenes with both parties having given informed consent as to what the scene is or is not going to be. That certainly means that you have had a conversation, and it certainly means that you have discussed the emotional aspects of that scene and how far they will or will not go. This is the part that makes me wonder. I see this talk of scenes, scening, scene-istry (ok I made that last one up) and it plucks at my nerves. Then I hear about relationships that exist, healthy ones from what I gather, but the participants do not live together. beachmystress recently disussed how to cushion her subs 'sub drop' when she left him. Her knowledge was exquisite and in the context of this thread her skill-set obvious. But more obvious was her emotional connection to this person. For whatever reason I see her as not scening. She's not going to do scenes, she's going to BE. (just move in with the boy beach!) But taggard and you are right of course. Taggard especially reminds me how I often forget that some people are in it for the kink and that I am the twisted one, having what might be called an intimacy fetish with a submissive love object as my personal kink or some such addled delusion. Alex.

SweetDommes -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 3:08:54 PM)
Alex - you may not see what Beach does with her boy as "scening" but I do (at least, parts of it) ... because we do the same thing - a scene is different than day to day interactions. We interact daily - and there are D/s overtones to everything that we do - but a scene is different. A scene is a specified "playtime" for us ... it isn't something that happens all the time, it isn't something that happens every day, it isn't something that happens every week even. We live with our first boy, and are working on a second, who will also live with us. hmm... hit the "ok" button too soon ... Anyway, it isn't so much that you are 'twisted' or 'adled' for your "intimacy fetish" ... you just express it differently. Those who scene in public often are intimate (or become so) with their scening partner. Not all, but a lot of them.

Archer -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 5:00:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alexander Archer: I didnt mean you , or even to mean you said that, more just making a point about it, thinking in text in other words. You said something which I think goes to the heart of the conflict for me. (with the understanding that its MY conflict not yours or anyone else in the community.) You write: quote: I'm talking about negotiated scenes with both parties having given informed consent as to what the scene is or is not going to be. That certainly means that you have had a conversation, and it certainly means that you have discussed the emotional aspects of that scene and how far they will or will not go. This is the part that makes me wonder. I see this talk of scenes, scening, scene-istry (ok I made that last one up) and it plucks at my nerves. Then I hear about relationships that exist, healthy ones from what I gather, but the participants do not live together. beachmystress recently disussed how to cushion her subs 'sub drop' when she left him. Her knowledge was exquisite and in the context of this thread her skill-set obvious. But more obvious was her emotional connection to this person. For whatever reason I see her as not scening. She's not going to do scenes, she's going to BE. (just move in with the boy beach!) But taggard and you are right of course. Taggard especially reminds me how I often forget that some people are in it for the kink and that I am the twisted one, having what might be called an intimacy fetish with a submissive love object as my personal kink or some such addled delusion. Alex. No problem I wasn't taking it personally We are discussing the subject I tend to get into debate mode is all, often mistaken for argueing. I am presenting MY view and it is certainly not the only correct view, I put out the view and defend it, I continue to defend it unless and until I hear an arguement that makes more sense to me than what I have. That is the method for my journey. I've been persueded to change parts of my view many times. My view is based in many cases on the Leather community( predominantly gay and lesbian), as opposed to the BDSM community (predominantly het/bi). So I come at the subject from a different angle than many if not most here. At least 50% of my lifestyle freinds are gay and lesbian Leather folk. Well time for me to head down to the leathershop and make some toys. In Leather Archer

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 5:16:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Archer We are discussing the subject I tend to get into debate mode is all, often mistaken for argueing. I get that all the time too...and I have no idea why.. Ok, I'm just kidding...I know exactly why...but I do love a good debate!!! quote: My view is based in many cases on the Leather community( predominantly gay and lesbian), as opposed to the BDSM community (predominantly het/bi). So I come at the subject from a different angle than many if not most here. I, for one, am really hapy that you are here. I have really enoyed and appreciated your perspective, an find it quite fresh from what I usually see. I really didn't know what it was, but I think you have explained it for me. I hoep you will continue being a big part of this community. Oh, and are you coming to Vegas?!? Alex and, I hope, Berlin, will be there...as will I and a bunch of the other real lifers on this board. Taggard

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 5:24:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alexander I see this talk of scenes, scening, scene-istry (ok I made that last one up) and it plucks at my nerves. Ohhh...I love scenistry...or, for the really advanced, scenelogy!!! Of course, you have the scenephobes and the scenephiles... You crack me up! quote: Taggard especially reminds me how I often forget that some people are in it for the kink and that I am the twisted one, having what might be called an intimacy fetish with a submissive love object as my personal kink or some such addled delusion. I think you may be going a bit OTT, perhaps for effect, but it really isn't a bad way to look at it. I spent a lot of time not understanding how people couldn't see the complete hottness of a contract. Then I realized that perhaps I had something kinda cool...a paperwork fetish. It allowed me to own my kink, instead of trying to figure out why my kink made me strange (or twisted). Yeah, I think you have an intimacy fetish you satisfy with your slaves...I don't think it is as rare as my paperwork fetish, but it is yours and it is cool (again, not as cool as my paperwork fetish, but we each have our cross to bear wink). Taggard

Archer -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/29/2005 8:48:21 PM)
My schedule for this year has me going to the following events: Southeast Leatherfest Atlanta GA Capital Leathermen run Raleigh NC Beat me in St Louis St Louis MO Orlando Bash Orlando FL Spring In the South Atlanta GA North Carolina Leather Contest Raleigh NC Together In Leather Charlotte NC Central Alabama Power Exchange Montgomery AL Southwest Master slave Contest Phonix AZ International Leather Sir Leather Boy Might be Charlotte NC or Atlanta GA (TBA) And that's just what is planned the rest of this year so far. Already have been to BlackOut III Reloaded Ashville NC South Plains Leatherfest Dallas TX Lion's Pride - Menamore Wilmington NC Central Alabama Power Exchange- Love Of Service Montgomery AL SMPEX Knoxville TN But then again I am a Vendor, a Presenter, and the owner of The current Southeast Bootblack title holder. So I tend to travel alot regionally In Leather Archer

controller4you -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/30/2005 5:06:57 PM)
I suggest you find an experienced Dom that is willing to mentor and teach you the ins and outs of BDSM. That is how I got started. Sure everyone said I was a natural but my mentor really brought out my inner thoughts. Just like you will need to tap into the innermost desires of your submissive.

Focus50 -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/31/2005 3:52:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MzBerlin You obviously DO support being dishonest. "Exaggerating" is NOT "using what you have". Also, I think that it's too damned easy, naive and (frankly) arrogant AND ignorant to NOT be proactive in this situation. Perhaps, because you live in a city of half a million, you should take charge and organize a munch or play party. Taking the initiative would be much more "Domly" (Geez I hate that word!!) than pretending to be somthing you're not. It doesn't take a helluva lot of effort to set up a simple munch, either. There are resources avail. everywhere. It's laziness and a lack of interest that would inspire a person to misrepresent themselves. You state in your profile that all you think about is BDSM. Perhaps a little more action is in order. I find your post to be particularly disturbing as a submissive woman. If I found out that a potential relationship or play partner had, essentially, lied to me about his level of experience or lack thereof, I would be very hurt and angry, not to mention getting the hell out of dodge. I feel that your comment was inappropriate and may have given the OP the impression that BDSM is all about posturing and posing. Many subs are willing to grow with a new Dom and help him learn the ropes. The OP asked a fairly common question. It's something that needs to be (and often is) discussed on public forums. Sometimes individuals need a little push to get out there in the real world and go after what they desire. B In my opening post, I DID hesitate to use the word "exaggerate" because Forums are notorious for politically correct drama-queens blowing things out of proportion - which is exactly what's happened. But to actually say what I said is, in fact, a truth or honesty in itself - it's just an unsavoury truth.... Of course, you've never had a guy tell you what you wanna hear, have you? And I'm equally sure that certain others here have never told a girl what she wants to hear in order to get to "first base", either! It's really the choirboys and wall-flowers who get all the girls.... B, your blinkered judgement that I "obviously DO support being dishonest" is just more grist for the humour mill. Few truths in the "dating game" are pleasant and your crocodile tears of indignation don't change a thing. You're pissed at me BECAUSE of my honesty - deal with it. Things you missed in your haste to judge: 1. I don't live in a city of half a mill - I grew up in one. 2. The OP is seeking a sub, not I! 3. I'm not the one "posturing and posing"! That'd be those who wanna drag him off to public play parties - where the "serious" lifestylers hang - apparently.... Focus50.

Focus50 -> RE: Beginner Dom (3/31/2005 4:39:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MzBerlin Focus- Learning different aspects of the lifestyle are important. Developing a skill set is essential if you want to be involved in different aspects of BDSM. That's why so many different classes are offered- because there is a need for them in the community. I don't think that attending events is of "percieved" importance. It IS important to many members of the community. It's a place to get feedback, learn new skills (as I mentioned above), and explore your place in the "scene". The OP didn't state his desires as far as the structure of his interaction with a fem/sub, and the emphasis is not always weighted towards "mere" physical play. And physical play skills are not all that you can learn from a group of peers or a class (or book or website). Different types of PE are out there, and learning about them as well as sharing your own is an important part of growing as a person w/in that dynamic. You really should think before you speak. Really. B This is a familiar merry-go-round but I'll give it another go.... It's more obvious every day that I share a minority view of BDSM on this site. The concept of BDSM being a lifestyle or relationship one lives seems at odds with many here. Frankly, I've never come across so many who regard BDSM almost as a hobby or vocation. A place to "visit".... I don't see myself as being in BDSM to "explore your place in the "scene"." BDSM has a place in my life and I make life decisions to accomodate it. I agree like-minded people are handy to discuss different aspects of play, toys or lifestyle in general. But I don't place your perceived importance in learning "Different types of PE" - I'm not here to collect experiences! BDSM covers a lot of territory and I only seek out what suits my needs - it's called being comfortable in my own skin. And you're mistaken - the OP DID state his desires.... Here's the OP: quote: Im new to the D/s world. I am most definitely a Dom. I am 25 yrs old. Can any experienced Doms and subs give me some advice and tips on where to begin? Ive read a few books and i now am looking to begin a 24/7 with an eager submissive woman. any tips would prove useful. thanks in advance Ok, we all know it's a big jump from books to 24/7 but his desire is honourable enough, surely! You're half right, certainly one of us needs to think before speaking! She'd be the one wearing rose-coloured glasses and motivated more by emotions than reason.... But cheer up, seems like there's a happy little clique in your corner and all wanting a piece of me. I'm game.... [:D] Focus50.

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