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PairOfDimes -> RE: Beginner Dom (7/29/2007 1:13:23 PM)
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I applaud your courage and desire to jump in with both feet. Do you really want a 24/7 relationship now? That's sort of like saying that you're new to the dating world and you're ready to get married, and it works about as well.
I think it's entirely okay for you to know that you prefer to dominate. You've probably either considered the fantasies or sex acts you enjoy and realized that you generally are more fulfilled when you run the action (erotically dominant), or you've realized that in a group of friends, you're the one who can readily persuade your companions to see the movie you want (socially dominant) or both. Or, perhaps, "dom" isn't quite the right word, and you're in the position I was in at first--more into the sensations, and causing pain--if that's the case, "top" or "sadist" might be a better label.
Believe me, I'm all for your doing d/s. Or play (bondage, spanking, etc.) Or both, for that matter. I imagine you would meet with great success if you did it temporarily--like, for an hour--at first. Sort of like dating--you don't get married or become partners straight off, but instead, you spend time together, periodically increasing the time and intimacy if it goes well (and everyone has his or her own pace).
Finally, involve yourself in your local BDSM community--go to munches, classes and other things, and talk to people. Try not to routinely announce that you're absolutely virgin--it never makes a good impression, and seems to attract the worst of the would-be mentors--but certainly mention that you're a beginner, if you talk with someone who seems to have good things to say.
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