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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 10:08:50 AM   
GeekyGirl


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I don't remember any physical trauma in my childhood...I did have some emotional trauma from my father leaving and prior to that witnessing him abuse my mother.

I want to know what the study is classifying as fetish? "Fetish" as in kinky stuff in general or "fetish" as in the clinical term where the person REQUIRES that object to get off (ie is basically impotent without it).

< Message edited by GeekyGirl -- 2/25/2007 10:09:16 AM >

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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 10:31:58 AM   
DominantEngineer


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Well, I saw my "girlfriend" paddled in front of the class in second grade; that infatuated me. Later around the fourth grade I was tying her up and spanking her, at her request. I thought it was fun and so did she but neither of us were mature enough to know why. But I take any study with a grain of salt because so many have a conclusion that someone wants to prove so badly that their methods are skewed, whether consciencely or not. My experiences as a child do more to reinfirce that I am hardwired the way I am than to offer a reason to why I am the way I am.

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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 10:32:45 AM   
softcoresicko


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

I don't remember any physical trauma in my childhood...I did have some emotional trauma from my father leaving and prior to that witnessing him abuse my mother.

I want to know what the study is classifying as fetish? "Fetish" as in kinky stuff in general or "fetish" as in the clinical term where the person REQUIRES that object to get off (ie is basically impotent without it).


Frankly, I think that emotional trauma would be a more likely trigger of fetishism (or other 'deviant' sexual tastes) than physical trauma; case in point, my father divorced my mother when I was very young, and it apparently left me very hurt and depressed (I don't have any memories from when I was that young; the glory of repression, I guess). Now, decades later, here I am on a fetish dating site, looking to explore my interests.  And I'm probably the most well adjusted of my siblings...


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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 10:46:37 AM   
porthuronsub


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I have never experienced any physical trauma to my body that I can remember, but there was an incident in grade school that might have affected me.  I had a teacher use a bar of soap to cleanse my mouth for swearing and then made me bend over an grab my ankles and paddle me.
Boy, how times have changed our educational system......

*edited to add*
I have had a boot fetish for as long as I can remember.  I used to go into my aunts closet and touch , smell and feel her boots when we would visit them.  That was when I was like 5-6 years old.  My mother never wore boots and my aunt wore the stretch leather ones.   ahhh such fond memories.

< Message edited by porthuronsub -- 2/25/2007 10:50:11 AM >

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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 6:02:46 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


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Apologies for so much confusion!

I was very skeptical myself, but when the same question was asked of real life fetishists in Melbourne, we got a really freaky number of fetshists who had actually had the tips of their fingers cut off or hands badly sliced as small children.

As someone has pointed out, genuine fetishism in women is extremely rare, but not impossible.  Hence my interest in the subject.  I don't think there has ever been a study of female fetishism (but please correct me if I am wrong).

However, if you are not a genuine fetishist or knowledgable on the subject, your opinion about such a theory is not helpful. 

Email me if you are fascinated by medical papers and want copies.  They are very boring.

In my part of the world, sick f*ck is a term of endearment amongst us....well......sick f*cks.  Sorry if that offended any fetishists:)

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 2/25/2007 6:08:36 PM >

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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 6:15:58 PM   
juliaoceania


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

Apologies for so much confusion!

I was very skeptical myself, but when the same question was asked of real life fetishists in Melbourne, we got a really freaky number of fetshists who had actually had the tips of their fingers cut off or hands badly sliced as small children.

As someone has pointed out, genuine fetishism in women is extremely rare, but not impossible.  Hence my interest in the subject.  I don't think there has ever been a study of female fetishism (but please correct me if I am wrong).

However, if you are not a genuine fetishist or knowledgable on the subject, your opinion about such a theory is not helpful. 

Email me if you are fascinated by medical papers and want copies.  They are very boring.

In my part of the world, sick f*ck is a term of endearment amongst us....well......sick f*cks.  Sorry if that offended any fetishists:)


I know what a fetish is, I am also aware of what a false correlation is, and this sounds like an example of one.

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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 6:23:14 PM   
LadyIce


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

I don't know to what "research" you refer but it sounds highly dubious.  While various childhood experiences (which need not be traumas) can, and do, sometimes result in fetishes and other behaviors; it cannot be reduced into such bizarre over-simplifications as "having a body part cut off results in the development of X fetish."  Whatever you read is likely the ramblings of some fringe pseudo-science.

The development of behaviors in individuals is the result of highly individualized experiences.  What makes the results of these unique is that for each individual not only do the experiences differ, but just as importantly so do the combinations of experiences and the perception of these experiences.  Because of this, it is just not possible to state that X experience always results in Y behavior, behaviorism is more complex than that.

Thus while one person might have a fetish about blonds because their mother was blond, another with a blond mother might develop a fetish about brunettes, simply because the combination of various other experiences and the perception of those experiences differed in each individual.  Understanding why each developed as they did requires understanding that history of relevant reinforcers.  So while it is sometimes possible to trace the development of a fetish in a person, doing so generally requires (except in very rare circumstances) the identification of multiple influences / events that resulted in the development of that one behavior (fetish).


Wonderful post Padriag, I do agree.
Studies have shown that our early experiences influence our behaviors later on.
But as you stated, it does not have to be trauma or accidents, it can be any number
of circumstances.
A lot of personality is also innate, I was born with dominant tendancies.

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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 6:25:32 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


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If this sample of fetishists  is anything to go by, you are absolutely right!!  Not a cut finger among this lot :)

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 2/25/2007 6:26:21 PM >

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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 6:25:33 PM   
kate


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i hate the word fetish.....it is mis-used and unclear..... everyone has things they like or need for sex to be enjoyable.... jsut that some people have it to a highter degree...

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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 6:27:51 PM   
juliaoceania


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My father used to read those true crime magazines when I was little. There was always a picture of some scantily clad female being gagged or manhandled or tied up on the front, and I would look at the covers for long periods of time. They did not really scare me, but there was something fascinating about them to me.

But the question is not did these stimuli impact us as kids (of course stuff like this impacts kids), the question is how does it impact us? I mean I could have identified with the "captor" instead of the "captive"... so perhaps that is the innate aspect?

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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 6:49:12 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

So you are female with a fetish?  That's really unusual.  The subjects were all male.


How are you defining fetish? It can mean something required for orgasm and it can just mean a fixation that is not required for orgasm.

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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 7:11:24 PM   
moki1984


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

Well, when I was about five I up and grabbed something hot out of the oven and had a huge blister on my hand. I don't really know if that caused it, but I am kinkier than a four foot garden hose with 45 knots in it.

.

???

T

i just found that comment amusing hehe. many have said subs/slaves were abused in their childhood, raped or milested thus they feel comfortable in settings where they are completely under one's control because as a child they felt it so often. i was abused in ways as a child so maybe it does relate but im sure their are also plenty of subs/slaves who were not. i figure who cares why im kinky and enjoy certain things out of the norm...ill just learn how to experience them more hehe

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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 7:58:34 PM   
Sinergy


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My whole childhood involved me doing stupid things to damage myself.

I broke several bones.
I cut fishhooks out of my hands with a rusty Old Hickory filleting knife.
I avoided my parents after burning the hair off my face with explosives.
I have burns and scars and damage pretty much everywhere.

So I become an adult.

I get more broken bones.
I superglue cuts together.
I deal with torn meniscus plates in my knee
Tendonitis

All sorts of other damage.

I spend most of my life under endorphin pain control.

I am not sure any of these were the catalyst to get me involved in the lifestyle.

Go figure.

Sinergy

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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 7:59:48 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


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I was hoping to avoid the narrow medical definition of fetishism and allow a free form discussion by people who consider themselves to have a fetish who may - or may not - have had a childhood injury of a bloody or traumatic kind

The wider the definition the better for this purpose, so if you actually  identify as a fetishist (in, say, your profile) please feel free to respond

I think liking fetishwear probably does not count.  Who doesn't like fetishwear?  Needing fetishwear to become (more) aroused probably does.  Needing festishwear to orgasm?  Definitely counts. 

This thread is not a trick to flush out all the "fake fetishists" so I am unsure why people are so defensive. If you do not identify as a fetishist, don't post!

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 2/25/2007 8:08:56 PM >

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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 8:05:30 PM   
DigitBox


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

Psychiatric research claims there is a correlation between being a fetishist and having a body part (usually a finger) cut off or nearly cut off as a small child.

One paper says fetishism can also be traced to witnessing a mutiliating event or having a bloody operation as a kid, but the more common explanation is a bleeding injury.

I got terrible burns to my arm when I was 6.  Has anyone else here had a horrible accident as a kid, probably to your hand?

And ......if you never had a nasty accident, how come you are still a sick f*ck???!!



I got my fingers stuck in a door, burned on a gas element, and the source of my first electro shock.  Mostly because I was niave kid and was not aware of what I was doing.

I also developed a serious heart defect due to infection of the mitral valve, and had my tonsils out which was seen as where the germs that hurt my heart valve were hiding out.  Other than that I was otherwise okay.

I think the source of fetishism is more likely to be certain things in childhood that give one pleasure, not just neccessarily in a sexual way.

I developed a satin fetish when I was still in my single digits, age wise that is.    Just some of the girls clothes were made of it and none of the boys ones were so when I would play with the girls clothes some of them were much more sensual.  It seems to be due to some kind of pleasurable sensation. 



< Message edited by DigitBox -- 2/25/2007 8:34:55 PM >

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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 8:10:44 PM   
DigitBox


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quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

i'm sorry, nothing in your original post said anything about the subjects being only male.  Are you suggesting only males have fetishes?  Do i need more coffee?


It's very rare for women to be fetishists by comparison to men.

Valerie Steele has an interesting take on fetish in her book of the same name.



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RE: Childhood accidents cause fetishism? - 2/25/2007 8:25:48 PM   
hisannabelle


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i survived a very, very bad dog attack at age three, and almost my entire face was ripped off...so, lots of blood there. it's the earliest memory i have, actually - i remember walking down the hall right before it happened, and waking up in the hospital when they were cutting the bandages off, screaming because i was terrified they were going to cut my face. not sure it's an adequate explanation for why i'm a sick fuck, though ;)

other stuff: fell off a high porch at age 9ish, tore tendons and ligaments in my arm. tonsils and adnoids out at age 12 for sleep apnea. most of the stuff since then has been chronic pain, though - spondylolisthesis, herniated disks, arthritis (been dealing with since age 5, getting progressively worse over the years), and fibromyalgia (over the past couple years). none of that's really bloody, though. ;)


< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 2/25/2007 8:28:28 PM >

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