Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla" life disappear?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla" life disappear? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla" ... - 2/25/2007 11:15:41 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I don't mean your sexually-related "vanilla" life (I was trying to fit the headline for this thread on a line that would be completly visible on the Message board, once posted, is all).

Obviously, in many cases one's "vanilla" sex life will completely disappear - which to me, is neither here nor there (if I didn't like bdsm and sex, I wouldn't be here at all).

I am not saying all people who delve into bdsm are swallowed up with the desire to give up their "old lives" lock, stock and barrel, but I've also noticed it can happen. I am not judging this, btw (really). It's a simple observation that this phenomena (IMO) can exist.
 
What has been your own experience(and how did you feel about that?).
 
More specifically, just how much time would you estimate is now devoted to bdsm actvity in your life, if you are living 24-7 with someone else? Have you dropped many of your old interests?

I sometimes read posts that give me the impression that if I delve into this, as it relates to my sex life with both feet, and am also in a 24/7 relationship with someone at the same time, I will end up in a situation where I am increasingly expected to do things like be chained or bound for an entire day (or days), or otherwise have the rest of my life revolve around my bdsm proclivities, instead of still having time (or even the desire) to just go on about my ordinary "vanilla" life, as far as pursuing so-called "vanilla" activites like:Volunteer work, singing, and-or other hobbies.

Don't get me wrong - I am not "un-devoted" or in this for a superficial thrill. I would do what my Dominant asked of me, etc. I am just wondering about other people's experiences here.

I know people will tell me that anyone who asks me to give up those things (my outside interests) is a "bad person" or "not a true Dominant" perhaps - but I am not talking about a Dominant even asking me to do it - I am talking about my own desire for these things being gradually (or rapidly) eroded, simply because my desires might more tend to revolve around bdsm, and the emotional mind-set it can induce.

I mean, I can get obsessive about being interested in things. If I even read about a topic here I find myself interested in here, I can spend hours then researching it, thinking about it, and thinking about maybe finding someone to do it with (not that I do, but still). But I am not sure this is just my personality - I think sometimes it can take over a person's emotions and mind-set.

I am not referring here to the Goreans (I think that is a true "life-style", and they can do whatever they want, of course). But I am referring to just your average so-called "life-styler".

I don't believe, really, I guess, that bdsm is a "life-style." I think it's more of a hobby, for many people (that isn't meant to be an insult, just the way I tend to see it). But I think it it can definitely change your out-look -as well as a person's desire to do other stuff - it can take a lot of time, and also emotions are provoked by bdsm actvity and (IMO) that can influence further how much energy one is willing or able to devote to other life pursuits.

I don't want to be chained to someone's dungeon wall all day, even though in fantasy it seems like a really good time. Why? Sorry to sound superficial, but I have book club, and women's groups, and volunteer stuff I do, etc.

I did not live with my last Dominant - we saw each other a few nights a week. I am talking about if you live with someone (not that I am contemplating doing it tommorrow, am just wondering what happens when people live together 24-7 and are involved in bdsm).

It might sound like a silly question, but - before anyone answers, please think about just how much time you devote to bdsm actvitiy, and how it has really affected your life etc. I am not "Pro" or "Con" as far as this goes, btw - for anyone who is wondering - I really and truly am not. I am really curious, though.

- Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/25/2007 12:07:10 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: When you got involved in reali-life bdsm, did your ... - 2/25/2007 11:18:22 AM   
MistressDoMe


Posts: 295
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		Susan, I don't have the patience to right long posts. So mine tend to be brief.
I take a long time in getting to know someone prior to serious involvement.
You have to move at a pace that is comfortable for you and your potential partner.
It sounds like you are being cautious and wise and to me that is a good thing.
Moving slowly helps to ease BDSM into normal vanilla activities.
I prefer a gradual process because most of us have many other obligations and activities
and can't spare the time to even be chained to the wall all day! :-)
Good luck on your new relationship.

< Message edited by MistressDoMe -- 2/25/2007 11:23:09 AM >

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: When you got involved in reali-life bdsm, did your ... - 2/25/2007 11:19:10 AM   
porthuronsub


Posts: 339
Joined: 4/26/2005
Status: offline 		Everyone I know in the "lifestyle" still leads a pretty normal life.  Their dynamic between them is different than vanilla couples, but their day to day activities are about the same. 
I still go to school, work and converse with family and friends.  My Mistress actually wants me to start volunteering, she says it will be good for me, help me grow.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: When you got involved in reali-life bdsm, did your ... - 2/25/2007 11:26:22 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Part of the coming out process for homosexuals involves a stage where EVERYTHING becomes focused around their sexuality- their friends, their interests, their perspectives.  It's very natural and normal to get sucked into this "big new thing" that you're trying to find a comfort level with in relation to the world as you are.

Normally, over time, a balance is reached and the person isn't SO overinvolved to the exclusion of other things.  They relax and become comfortable (and realize that this "one part" of their lives, as encompassing as it is, it not at all the whole of themselves), and just go with where life takes them.  They are no longer fully defined by that one big new thing.

I unfortunately know too many people who don't have any non-scene friends or life interests outside of the scene.  While I am a switch, and while I am active in the scene, it's not at all my whole life and I'd never want it to be.  But I understand the process and when it happens, I just let them go their course and wait for them to gain their own balance.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to porthuronsub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: When you got involved in reali-life bdsm, did your ... - 2/25/2007 11:31:56 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the replies, people.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/25/2007 12:08:23 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: When you got involved in reali-life bdsm, did your ... - 2/25/2007 11:33:23 AM   
completenz


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		hi
no, not at all. He is my Dom and i am His sub, that is the core of our relationship. We still have to function in the outside world. His control is constant yet discreet . Our relationship has not changed how we are with our familes and vanilla friends, they see as as what we are... a very happy, loving devoted couple.
hugs
c

(in reply to porthuronsub)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla&qu... - 2/25/2007 11:39:39 AM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		I live with my Master and have done so for nearly 2 years. To the outside we appear to be just like any other married couple. I go to work every day, sometimes I go out afterwards with friends from the office. He runs his own business and in the evenings and sometimes at weekends I help with that. We go shopping together, we visit family, meet my parents for Sunday lunch. Sometimes we meet up with friends together or we go to the cinema or out for dinner. All the things that other couples do together.

All of these things go on just as with other couples but what makes our relationship different is that he is the one that is always in control. Living 24/7 does not necessarily mean that you are kneeling at his feet all the time or that you give up your outside interests. For me one of the things that has changed is that I would never agree to go for a drink with someone after work without asking his permission first.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla&qu... - 2/25/2007 11:40:54 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		My first question is this, do you see D/s as different than BDSM? I see BDSM as something we partake of sexually, I see D/s as a description of our relationship style. I think that BDSM can be a lifestyle in the way that people who exercise daily have a lifestyle, or people that eat vegetarian have a lifestyle. People who are into certain “hobbies” revolve their lives around them to the point that it becomes a lifestyle.

Personally I see D/s as a completely different thing. D/s is a love style for me. It is the way I express myself in my intimate relationship. It is not just activities, it is a mindset, and as such it is not a lifestyle alone for me. I do not see myself into BDSM as a lifestyle either. We do not revolve our lives around caging, tying me up, my actively being submissive every second of the day and him dominating my time every second.. I am not judging that paradigm that people enjoy, it is just not our way of doing things.

I do not live with my Daddy yet, but when I do he will not want me to give up every other activity in my life to be submitting to BDSM activities. He has a life too. He recently told me one of the things that most attracts him to me is that I have a wide range of interests outside of BDSM, and that I have not expressed the desire to make a ton of real life lifestyle friends, but instead I am drawn to multi-faceted people. I have no desire to step into a dungeon and have a competition to show how real I am, I have other things in life I am focused on and care about. I think it is wonderful that there are people out there that dedicate large amounts of their time to lifestyle events, functions, and to that community… do not get me wrong, I would love to know people that do give a lot of themselves to it, but it is not something that we are likely to do because of our life structure and interests.

Even when it comes to my vanilla activities, he has become a huge presence in the back of my mind because of the D/s component. I think about what will make him proud of me, what he expects of me, and how I can further please him. That is there whether he is with me every day or not, it is a 24/7 thing. I ask him his opinion on more and more all the time, and I am beginning to really rely on it more and more. That to me is what my submission is about… it is not about beating me and locking me up in a cage.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla&qu... - 2/25/2007 11:47:47 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		juliaoceania: I guess I am referring to D/s, really (good point), and how it might affect people if they are in a 24-7 relationship. I see bdsm as a mode of relating sexually, period. But again, "relating sexually" can mean many things, IMO. In any case, thanks for the reply.

For anyone who is wondering, this thread isn't meant in any way to criticize peoeple who do spend a lot of time at bdsm activity (that is none of my business, as far as how others run their lives) - it is simply a question to find out for any who answer, just how much time that really is. Yes, if it wasn't for people who aren't really into it, there probably wouldn't be as much activity or events to choose from, books written, etc.

I am just asking about how much time people devote to it, is all - in terms of activity, if they are 24-7 (or even if they have an opinion on 24-7, from seeing others do this).

I define "activity" in active terms: Being whipped, spanked, chained to a wall, being asked specifically to do "non-vanilla" activites you would not otherwise have done. Also "vanilla" activities (maybe laundry, maybe not laundry - but you wouldn't be doing it if your significant other hadn't asked, and you wouldn't necessarily feel compelled to do it if they were not in charge).

P.S. Dominants, Dommes, please feel free to answer, as well as submissives and slaves.

- Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/25/2007 12:09:42 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla&qu... - 2/25/2007 11:53:03 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I would ask Susan, when you were in a vanilla marriage, how much of your time did you spend married? I kinda see it as the same thing.. no matter where I am , my D/s relationship is with me, it is becoming a part of my identity I suppose, kind of like being a mom, or a sister, or whatever else I am...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla&qu... - 2/25/2007 11:57:01 AM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		I am an owned 24/7 slave, yet I am still very much encouraged to keep up any interests I have outside of that.  I think it depends on who you are with, I have talked to many that expected me to only have their interests as mine.  I don't think of my bdsm life as taking away from my "vanilla" life, I think it more enhances it and makes my life more fulfilled all the way around.  I am free to be myself more than ever, not restricted by what society thinks I should be, or what it thinks I should do.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla&qu... - 2/25/2007 12:02:51 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		juliaoaceania: See my above statement. It is an answerable question. Sorry if I wasn't clear before (or maybe you posted before I clarified it - if so, sorry). 

I do think that married people do vanilla activites, like laundry, etc., yes - but  they just maybe don't say they do them or do them, maybe) "because" someone else is in charge.

Maybe people in D/s relationships don't either (I mean, the dishes do need washing, etc).

But - I guess I am talking about people who think they would not be doing these activites (vanilla ones, like cleaning the house more thoughly, for example) at all, or maybe not as quickly, etc., if someone else was not in charge of the relationship.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/25/2007 12:10:32 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla&qu... - 2/25/2007 12:06:41 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I am just not getting your point Susan. I have not read many people on here that have that line between vanilla and BDSM and D/s to the point they exclude everything else from their lives. I think I just do not understand your point though, I might just be dense today.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 2/25/2007 12:07:20 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla&qu... - 2/25/2007 12:09:19 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		You know, there's threads better left untouched.  And yet, here I am.

I'll try to make this simple.  A trail of breadcrumbs, if you will.

You go to work, you come home.  There's X number of hours before you go to bed.  What to do?

Right now, I'm on my own, so I could say it's a moot point, except for the fact that I am constantly reminded (by my surroundings) of my interests.  And that's even leaving the toys unseen.  But activity-wise, I do what solitary thing I wish to do.

Throw another body into the mix.  Suddenly, there's a relationship!  How did we get here?  Probably (strike that, DEFINITELY) because of this world, this life, this Lifestyle, this crumbcake, whatever you wish to call it.

So, to recap.  You go to work, you come home, there's X hours in the evening before bed.  What to do?

To me, 'what I do' isn't simply relationship oriented.  I like to play, as well.  A decent scene can easily take a couple of hours, throw in prep time, aftercare, dinner in there somewhere, the night's gone.

One down, six to go.  Weekends provide more time.

Now, for me, I don't need to go anywhere.  I can run errands during the workday.  But my invisible partner might have interests of her own.  If there's something she would like to do without me, I can easily occupy myself - I do that now.  If we go somewhere together, I would imagine that our dynamic would go with us too.  Maybe there might be unseen 'fun' that the outside world can't see.

It seems to me that if you're going to be in a relationship, especially if it's with someone you want to be with (don't laugh, you know there's a slew of people out there in difficult circumstances), then you will enjoy that person for what brought you together.  If it's two vanilla opera lovers, they enjoy opera.  Sports fans can go to games or watch on TV at home or at a sports bar.  Some people like to dance.  Others consist of couples where one partner likes to wear a butt plug and the other likes to insert it.

Capisce?

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla&qu... - 2/25/2007 12:11:33 PM   
porthuronsub


Posts: 339
Joined: 4/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I am talking about people who think they would not be doing these activites (vanilla ones, like cleaning the house more thoughly, for example) at all, or maybe not as quickly, etc., if someone else was not in charge of the relationship.

- Susan


There are many women in relationships (vanilla) that are abused by there husbands if the house isn't spotless when they get home from work, if the dishes are stacked perfect, ect.

I think that is a poor way to measure a D/s relationship. 

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla&qu... - 2/25/2007 12:14:55 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		juliaoceania: I guess I see it all the time, when people are claiming it is a "life-style." And for some, it appears (or at least I get the impression) it has affected their out-look so that they spend a significant amount of time doing things they otherwise would not have done, as far a bdsm actvitiy (and even some of the time they devote to how chores and even (though less often) vanilla hobbies are pursued, because a Dominant wants them to do it this way or that way, instead). Fold the laundry this way, I prefer  meals cooked from scratch, etc.

**I am  not specifying how "all Dominants" ask their submissives to do things - I am asking what that is, and how much time it actaully takes, and whether it's changed the amount of time anyone devotes to so-called "vanilla" actvities or other hobbies. I am not meaning to imply I'd be a "lazy submissive" either, if anyone is wondering. I am really just curious.

I mean, c'mon - control is the basis for the D/s relationship, right? Are you saying it has no effect at all? 

It's just a question, not meant to put anyone on the defensive (really). I am not saying Dominants are "mean" or anything at all like that. It is simpy a question of asking about time and possibly re-arranged priorities I am asking about. I'd be into some of that, maybe even "a lot" (whatever that means) - just not to an extreme, I guess.

If that hasn't been your particular observation or experience, okay. I don't want to get into a side-thread about how good or bad it might be, etc. Because I don't care what other people do with their own relationships.

I guess maybe it is a matter of how much control peope desire. Some want "micro-managment" - I think it would drive me insane.

I am simply curious.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/25/2007 12:59:49 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla&qu... - 2/25/2007 12:18:40 PM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		   For me the lifestyle is 75% mental, 25% physical.   I am always aware that I am submissive.   I have not given up any vanilla activites that I enjoy or that I need to do---like work.    I structure my activities in a way that would be pleasing to him.   For example, I would not go out with my girlfriends, get shitfaced in a local bar and drive home.   I tend to read books that will provide me with enjoyment but also expand my mind (and it doesn't have to be BDSM material).   
   I really think that if my life was just one long BDSM scene with my partner, it would get rather boring in a hurry.   When we spend time together, it is never just one long play session, we do other very vanilla things.    If we got together just for sex and BDSM, our relationship would cease to exsist very quickly.   I cherish the vanilla things we do just as much as the BDSM things.   
  For me there has to be a healthy balance of things.   For me, making time for BDSM activities and having other interests, yet always knowing I am submissive totally works for me.  

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: When you got involved in reali-life bdsm, did your ... - 2/25/2007 12:23:16 PM   
jadein


Posts: 37
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Part of the coming out process for homosexuals involves a stage where EVERYTHING becomes focused around their sexuality- their friends, their interests, their perspectives.  It's very natural and normal to get sucked into this "big new thing" that you're trying to find a comfort level with in relation to the world as you are.

Normally, over time, a balance is reached and the person isn't SO overinvolved to the exclusion of other things.  They relax and become comfortable (and realize that this "one part" of their lives, as encompassing as it is, it not at all the whole of themselves), and just go with where life takes them.  They are no longer fully defined by that one big new thing.

I unfortunately know too many people who don't have any non-scene friends or life interests outside of the scene.  While I am a switch, and while I am active in the scene, it's not at all my whole life and I'd never want it to be.  But I understand the process and when it happens, I just let them go their course and wait for them to gain their own balance.


I just want to say first off ... I really love reading your posts and find them very enlightening.  Sometimes they are more blunt than I would say them, but that also helps me be more clear on my own thinking. 

Second point ... I agree with this point.  My sister is a lesbian and came out to our family when she was 17.  She is now 21.  For about 3 years (up till last year) EVERYTHING in her life was about being gay and her homosexuality.  Although, I'm not quite sure why she felt the need to do that because my family was very accepting and understanding and in fact when she told me and my mother we both said ... "Yeah, we know."  Part of me believes that she finally felt some freedom because it was like she had been holding this deep dark secreat forever.  I just recently found out from her when she came home for a visit that she's also submissive.  *smiles* (What a proud big sister I am).   Over this last year though her life has balanced out quite a bit and her being gay isn't ALL her life is about now.   She has many different types of friends and she does all kinds of different activities. 

For me it was the same.  When I first came out 3 1/2 years ago to my family it was rough for me because although they completly accepted my sisters alternative lifestyle ... they didn't accept mine.   They STILLL don't like that I defer to my husband for everything.  My mom especially is annoyed by this.  They've even said He's abusive *laughs* .... little do they know that he's not abusive enough for my tastes *laughs* ERm anyways ... they just don't like the control I've let him have.   It's starting to balance out a bit lately ... but I still feel like I have to remind them on a constant basis. 

I hope this makes sense ... sorry my thoughts are a lil' jumbled.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla&qu... - 2/25/2007 12:25:58 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

juliaoceania: I guess I see it all the time, when people are claiming it is a "life-style." And for some, it appears (or at least I get the impression) it has affected their out-look so that they spend a significant amount of time doing things they otherwise would otherwise not have, as far a bdsm actvitiy (and even some of the time they devote to how "chores and hobbies" are pursued, because a Dominant wants them to do it this way or that way, instead). 

I mean, c'mon - control is the basis for the D/s relationship, right? Are you saying it has no effect at all? 

It's just a question, not meant to put anyone on the defensive (really). I am not saying Dominants are "mean" or anything at all like that. It is simpy a question of asking about time and possibly re-arranged priorities I am asking about. I'd be into some of that, maybe even "a lot" (whatever that means) - just not to an extreme, I guess.

If that hasn't been your particular obeservation or experience, okay. I don't want to get into a side-thread about how good or bad it might be, etc. Because I don't care what other people do with their own relationships.

I am simply curious.

- Susan


I get it now, I hope you did not feel I was attacking you in some way, I just did not understand what you were getting at.

I will be interested in the replies to this thread because I have not noticed what you speak of, perhaps it will be illuminating for both of us now that my curiousity has been peaked

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: When you got involved in reali-life bdsm, did your ... - 2/25/2007 12:26:13 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the replies, people.

juliaoceania: Well, I wasn't very clear in my opening post about what I meant by bdsm activity (and your posts helped me clarify it, so thanks).

I guess the original question sort of "evolved" (my fault, not yours).It intrigues me, too, because it can have a pervasive affect on someone, IMO. Like you mentioned, if it's a hobby, it can affect the way people do other things in their lives.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/25/2007 12:32:49 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to jadein)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Involvement in real-life bdsm; did "vanilla" life disappear? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109