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amlonging -> RE: an open letter to all my younger "sisters" who remain longing (2/27/2007 4:18:52 PM)
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There are several things I either don't understand or disagree with in the OP.
I really do not care if you disagree, or say I am full of shit lady tiger….. This came from my heart and nothing will make me ashamed of it, NO ONE!! And maybe I am full of shit, so what. I own my own feelings and opinions.
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It is not the girls but the couples and dominant women.
Can you clarify this please? Why are Dominant women singled out but not Dominant men?
It’s called female supremacy and the attitude that comes with it. Have you seen any mention of male supremacy?
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Don’t find a couple.
Why? A couple is exactly what some are looking for. There are examples of Couples-with-a-third on these boards who appear to have happy, healthy relationships. EDIT: Heh, Jewel, Scooter and twice were amoung the first to come to mind when I wrote this. Thank you, Jewel, for making an entrance at just the right moment!
Yes Scooter and Jewel are awesome examples of poly…they make it work and I have read plenty of forums from them in regards to it. Even though Jewel spoke her mind to me, I do not feel the same toward her nor Scooter.
Why? Because some girls come here, thinking they want a couple for many reasons and from my experience in being part of couple then looking (for 2 yrs) for a third (tis how Anne and Anna were found along with jess and becca and emilee and others) they seem to not understand the dynamics of what they really want. I was set to finding the third like many MANY sub/slaves on here are doing and found that many ladies just didn’t realize they were going to have to share, be a beta as well as find something they might or might not want.
Many ladies on here are longing…read the title… open letter to those who are LONGING.
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A genuine submissive is healthy
There are plenty of submissives whose health isn't at its best. Should they just cast aside that part of themselves? A submissive with cancer isn't a genuine submissive?
Healthy is NOT referring to physical health. Yaldah Tovah, M.D has written about the healthy and unhealthy submissive…. http://www.submissivewomenspeak.net/healthysub.htm
I am very empathetic and sympathetic toward the unhealthy sub, been there, done that and if I can help just one, I would find a bit of joy in my corner of the universe. Thing is, most emotionally unhealthy people do NOT even realize it. Been there done that.
If folk take offense at my open letter, it is their right. If others want to see some truth to it, so be it.
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Some of you have had encounters with arrogant, self absorbed people that call themselves dominants,
Encounters with arrogant, self-obsorbed people aren't confined to the world of BDSM, and they aren't strictly from Dominants.
You are correct. But the nilla world about us is not about a control and authority exchange where as in WIITWD there is. Power, control, domination can do weird things to peoples minds, hearts and souls if they let it.
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There is a difference between self absorbed self centered arrogance and self confidence. You can tell on first contact.
How exactly? Some of the most charismatic people turn out to be sociopaths.
Correct, once again you are correct.
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BDSM, D/s and M/s to some people in WIITWD is all about sex and their needs.
While I understand the underlying point you were making here, this is true of any relationship. Relationships are about fulfilling needs (be they social, familial, finacial, emotional, sexual, etc.) There are also the people who enjoy focusing on someone else's needs, and by doing so, fulfill their own. WIITWD can be about fulfilling our needs no matter which side of the slash we're on.
Correct again. But in relationships, the sexual aspect is not always the driving force. In BDSM if a D does not connect in some way with an s on the sexual side, compatibility is not there. There are so many other layers to connect on, even in BDSM. There is also the emotional, the social, the psychological, philosophical and spiritual. If my need is to be cared for as a prized possession and all I hear is, “find me a fucking slut or else”…. How is that meeting my need as an s. If his need is to fuck a new sub every week because I found her for him and I am left as an option, and not finding his need, how is that meeting his need if I am received with, damn you girl, “you are being his pimp.” That is neither meeting his need nor is it meeting my need to me healthy. Needs in WIITWD DO have other goals than sex.
I can probably say that Scooter and Jewel and other successful poly and or swinging couples, have other needs met by their SO than just sex. Tis what makes their relationship healthy.
A new sub or an unhealthy sub will think she is some unworthy slut because she cannot meet the D’s needs. Not true. They simply are incompatible. If it is difficult to be compatible with one person, being compatible with 2 (couple) at the same time, is even more taxing. Those who find it and make it work are definitely blessed to be sure.
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This might be a rant of sorts… but I just want to hug every girl out there who is really looking, genuine and feel as if you have something incredibly special to give.
Truly, I believe you have good intentions with your post, even if I can't agree with all of it. I'm sure the hug is appreciated nonetheless, and just maybe it helped brighten someone's day.
My intentions were to hurt no one but simply to poor out my heart to those ladies who are still longing. Everyone can interpret my post as they like.
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