I'm being stalked... (Full Version)

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alwaysobeyingyou -> I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 9:43:52 PM)

I have a huge problem. Long story short - I met someone on here for a weekend, it was a horrible experience and i felt horribly taken advandtage of and basically scared of the person.
Now he is threatening to come to my college, to out me - he will not leave me alone. I do not know  what to do. How can I report him to Collarme? He said if i had him get in trouble the cops will force collarme to show my whole account he says hes saved messages, which have nothing incirminating in them on MY part.
But he is essentially saying he met someone else when he was at my college and his coming back here, he basically sexually assaulted me when he was here. I'm so scared right now I don't know what to do. How can I make sure that collarme won't give out my personal info, like IP address to people? And what do i do about this?



FukinTroll -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 9:46:00 PM)

If you are a victim of a cyber-stalker or online harassment there is an agency that can help.

Cybersnitch

Report to this site and they will respond rather quickly. Make sure you have all the information ready. Hate mail, IM conversations, etc... Anything you have. They will contact local authorities in your area as well as authorities in your stalkers area and your troubles will diminish rather quickly.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 9:48:02 PM)

Why didn't you call the police on him?   M



alwaysobeyingyou -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 9:49:47 PM)

Come on, right now police is not an option - it would involve me outing myself and probably end up in the local papers. And there are plenty of reasons for me to not go right now ... you guys know that there are some people who can't afford to let this be public knowledge and I am one of them. How can I contact those who run CM?



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 9:51:23 PM)

Is hiding his alleged rape worth being closetted?   
Try support or moderator one with these questions.   M



BBBTBW -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 9:52:04 PM)

Collarme has privacy policies just like most other websites.  They won't give out your personal information unless there is a warrant to do so.  This is a tactic many abusers use to scare their victims into doing what they want them to do.  If it is a true concern, take your correspondence to your campus police and alert them that there is a problem.  This might prove a bit embarassing on your part, but a bit of embarassment is better than not being alive to be embarassed at all...correct? 

Most of all, don't be a victim.  Take matters into your own hands and take care of your business.  If possible make some flyers warning the students at your school of what this person did to you.  You don't have to out yourself at all.  Make it generic.  If he chooses to out you, there is not a whole lot you can do about it except take it but don't be outwardly ashamed.  If you are, he has won and made you a victim.  Easier said than done...HELL YES...but you can't be passive in this, this is YOUR life.  Take control of it.



bastardandthewen -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 9:52:45 PM)

If you live on campus, alert the head of your dorm immediately. File a complaint with the cops, and ask for a restraining order to be served.

If i were you, I'd also start new accounts online and try to cut off all contact that way as well.



FukinTroll -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 9:53:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: alwaysobeyingyou

Come on, right now police is not an option - it would involve me outing myself and probably end up in the local papers. And there are plenty of reasons for me to not go right now ... you guys know that there are some people who can't afford to let this be public knowledge and I am one of them. How can I contact those who run CM?


Actually it would be kept out of the media.



alwaysobeyingyou -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 9:55:43 PM)

It wasn't a rape thank God, it was things of a lesser extent than that. Thanks for the information - are you sure though, that they couldn't release my name? I know sexual victim's cases that people's names aren't supposed to be released - but woudln't a description be leaked out? I did delete all the accounts he knows about except one, and that is how he contacts me - but I'm almost scared to block him becuase what if that incites him to take action?



Inhibitor -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 9:57:51 PM)

1. Block. Especially if you've been sending any missives back to the person, for whatever purpose. Stop.
2. Report user.
3. Realize that if you're so strictly abstained from "outing" yourself that you cannot report violence or file charges when appropriate, meeting someone off a related site over a weekend is rather a poor idea.
4. Your IP address is not sacred and your "stalker" could obtain it without CM's help easily enough. What you *don't* want him to have is your physical address, which I take it he already has. Refer to #3 above.

If you're honestly frightened, do what you need to do to ensure your safety. Assuming your life is a higher priority than your desire for discretion. Bestaluck.




FukinTroll -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 9:58:14 PM)

Use cybersnitch. They will need all the mail and stuff and if they feel he is a threat they will nail his balls to the wall.

Now on a positive note: Welcome to this side and I hope you exploit the forums as a method of getting in the head of any potential D.



BBBTBW -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 10:00:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: alwaysobeyingyou

It wasn't a rape thank God, it was things of a lesser extent than that. Thanks for the information - are you sure though, that they couldn't release my name? I know sexual victim's cases that people's names aren't supposed to be released - but woudln't a description be leaked out? I did delete all the accounts he knows about except one, and that is how he contacts me - but I'm almost scared to block him becuase what if that incites him to take action?


Then you better be prepared for the fall out.  If his sincere plan is to out you....then you are going to be outed...

Although you are not asking for future advice.  Never do anything you are going to be ashamed to live up to.



juliaoceania -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 10:08:05 PM)

I would hope that for the most part your sexual nature would not mean a bunch to most people. It might mean something to your parents or siblings, but your sexuality is not going to mean much to professors and other students. Most people in their 20s are experimental. Personally I would rather the world know I am a sexual kinky person than get threatened by someone. Unless your related to the Kennedys no one is going to care. Seriously... no one cares that you like your butt spanked, and the only people who might care probably do not want to know anyhow.. it would be TMI

I would report him ASAP to the authorities... he is using this to intimidate you, and you are building the fallout to be worse in your mind than what the reality could possibly turn out to be



AquaticSub -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 10:08:27 PM)

Block and report.

Even if you are outted, do you want to chance him hurting someone else?



Kendra -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 10:13:12 PM)

 
report to collarme all of the stuff,
be more honest  than anytime you've ever been embarrassed about anything
im sure collarme has heard it all..
ring the cops
report the dog, charge him... and when it hits the media  ,post the link....
get a court order so he cannot come near you
get a gun licence and then a  gun
( americans have the right to bear arms for a reason)
and learn to shoot to kill , that means releasing the safety and not shaking while tears run down your face,  breathe out slowly  and dont jerk the trigger move it smoothly back,,, keep your  eyes open and   take your life back  ..

p.s.  next time you agree to meet someone from a chatroom  or online ,,
safe calls?? in australia we have subnet and best mates... i never go to a first meeting without another submissive right beside me ( at the next table)and i never ever leave  with anyone  on my first  or second or any number meeting until i have had the man checked out... subnet has a network of reference checking amongst the girls ..


something about this doesnt sound right,, ring the police,

good luck
k




SimplySubmissive -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 10:13:18 PM)

I beleive you should do all of the things previously posted.. but really, sometimes these men use what you fear most as a way to control you.. (outing)  Keep yourself safe, and lots of times these things are threats.. it may or may not happen, but don't let those threats continue to control your actions.. or inaction.



hisannabelle -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 10:15:37 PM)

does your campus have a victim advocate center? that would be a really good place to start, as they're usually very understanding about confidentiality and they can help you figure out what to do about going to the authorities.



defiantbadgirl -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 10:20:16 PM)

Media attention is never a good thing. I have another idea. Act like a psycho yourself. That will scare him off real quick and you won't have to go through all the hassle.



FukinTroll -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 10:22:20 PM)

Feel free to contact me on the other side. I will be glad to help you anyway I can.



SimplyMichael -> RE: I'm being stalked... (2/27/2007 10:43:20 PM)

Drama is as drama does. 



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