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level of respect - 2/28/2007 10:17:08 AM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		Just curious do you address each man that you know is a Dom with Sir ? Each Mistress as such , or do  you reserve that for the one that chooses you ? Enlighten me please ......

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers
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RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 10:20:58 AM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		I only use Master for the one I belong to, and Sir is reserved for one Dom that I am also close to. 

I use it for him because as my friend and mentor, he has earned my respect and trust.  Its not something I throw around to just anyone.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to simplewhispers)
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RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 10:23:37 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I use people's actual names (if I know what their name is, or their nic). If I was seeking a partner, I would call people Sir (or Mistress if I sought one, which I wouldn't, but if I did), but only if they made it clear that is how they preferred to be addressed. Otherwise, I'd simply try to be respectful in other ways in my communications with them (unless they are a complete and utter uber-jerk). With everyone? No, I don't address people that way in general, it would definitely have to be a partner or a prospective partner who'd requested it. 

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/28/2007 10:34:40 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to simplewhispers)
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RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 10:27:25 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		there are no protocols really as far as online interaction, because so many people are fakes/cyberplayers/liars/etc. so you really just can't tell. although i will occasionally refer to a Dominant online as "Sir" if i respect his postings or just have known him for some time, on and offline.

now to real life....i address all older men as "Sir", Dominant or not. Dominants who i interact with personally, whether they are men i serve or friends of my Master's, i refer to as "Master (their first name)." it's just a title respecting their status as my superior. i am not to refer to any female by a title, so i would never say "ma'am" or "mistress", i would just call them by their name. all of these things are rules my Master instilled from day one.

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)
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RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 10:28:49 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		No. There is one master outside of my own who I will call sir and that is because he has earned a great deal of respect from me as a dominant. He assissted in my own training and in my humble opinion, he is simply one of the best masters to be had.

However this special case aside, the general rule is "You aren't my master, I'm not treating you like you are". Valyraen feels the same way on this I do, thankfully, as I would call everyone sir or ma'am if he requested.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to simplewhispers)
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RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 10:30:28 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

Just curious do you address each man that you know is a Dom with Sir ? Each Mistress as such , or do  you reserve that for the one that chooses you ? Enlighten me please ......


I address people the way my Daddy instructs me to in the real world. It takes a lot of the guess work out of it for me. He is of the mindset that if people want to be a legend in their own mind he might humor them, but he does not want me humoring them. When we play in public he told me that if I was unsure of how to address someone remain quiet because they should not be talking to me without knowing how he feels about it anyways...

I refuse to address anyone online by any title that is not in their name, and will often shorten their screen names to avoid doing so. They are not my dom, and I feel titles of respect should be earned, and I fail to see how they can earn that respect from me based on internet interactions. There are times I just write out the full screen name because I am not even thinking about it, but I do not feel that I should be expected to give a stranger some respectful honorific.

My Daddy would prefer people not call him "sir" or "master", but they often refer to him this way, he does not say anything about it one way or the other because some dominants require their submissives to address any top this way. I thought I would mention this because I see a lot of submissives address all doms as "sir" when in fact the dominant may very well prefer that no one but one they own refer to them this way.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to simplewhispers)
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RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 10:32:11 AM   
rascallymisty


Posts: 123
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline 		Hello simple,
 
Like butterfly, I only call the one I belong to master. I use to call all Doms Sir and all Domme Ma'am, but since being on CM, I have found not all wish to be called either or, so....  I now ask what they wish to be called and go with that.
 
~ misty ~

(in reply to simplewhispers)
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RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 10:35:04 AM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		listening intently .........

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to rascallymisty)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 10:42:38 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I address everyone by their name equally, if online then I try to do it as it is typed. No one is MY submissive nor are they dominant to ME. 

No one has ever complained and if they did I would probably tell them to remove the cob from their ass.

Then I would solve the problem in the future by ignoring them completely, removing the need to worry about it.


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 2/28/2007 10:43:25 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to simplewhispers)
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RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 10:48:50 AM   
OnyxGoddess


Posts: 242
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Well I don't know everyone's real name so I use a nick online.  If it's a dom/me that I've chatted with I'll use Sir or Madam.  Lil bit of my military training so it has nothing to do with the lifestyle.  To my toys they are whatever I choose to call them. 

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 10:49:34 AM   
MistressNoName


Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

Just curious do you address each man that you know is a Dom with Sir ? Each Mistress as such , or do you reserve that for the one that chooses you ? Enlighten me please ......


I usually ask people how they prefer to be addressed and use that. No one yet in the real world has preferred to be addressed in any way that would violate my personal standards, so I pretty much stick to individual's preferences and they do the same for me.

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 11:04:41 AM   
completenz


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		hi
In the past i have used both Sir and Master to those i have played with. Being a 'dom' does not neccessarily mean they are worthy of my respect so others have been called by the name they are introduced by.
Now, however, i submit to only one, i have a special name for Him. He prefers that i use this name when we are alone. When we are in public, i use His real name.
i, therefore, now call no-one Sir or Master.
c

(in reply to MistressNoName)
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RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 11:04:44 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers
Just curious do you address each man that you know is a Dom with Sir ? Each Mistress as such , or do  you reserve that for the one that chooses you ? Enlighten me please ......

No.  While I can understand maam or sir for male/female if that is the cultural values one is raised with, translating those to dom/sub never made sense to me.

Ds orientation is a personal relationship orientation, not a socially recognized station.  Also, it's impossible to tell a persons orientation until they tell you, and plenty of doms and subs do not wish to be given a title by a random person they've just met.  As well, no one's ever been able to tell me how they'd address a switch.



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to simplewhispers)
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RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 11:13:29 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

As well, no one's ever been able to tell me how they'd address a switch


This is why my Daddy wears the switch or newbie name tag at events and munches...lol. He wants people to ask him about himself if they are in a conversation, not assume they know something about him that he has not yet told them. It stops the pesky "yes sir" comments too.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 11:15:36 AM   
valeca


Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		I usually go with first name, unless I've been instructed by Loraith to do otherwise (which almost never happens).  The only time I've experienced people demanding to be called 'Sir' or some other honourific is in chatrooms.  That's not to say it doesn't happen off-line, just that I haven't experienced it.

When someone demands I call them by a title, I'll explain why I won't once (maybe twice for clarification).  If they persist after that, I extricate myself from the conversation and move on with my day--online or off.


_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 11:32:43 AM   
jauntyone


Posts: 543
Joined: 2/27/2007
From: Anchorage Alaska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

Just curious do you address each man that you know is a Dom with Sir ? Each Mistress as such , or do  you reserve that for the one that chooses you ? Enlighten me please ......

I address all other men as Master ____, women as Mistress______; unless instructed by Master to do otherwise.

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 11:36:12 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone
I address all other men as Master ____, women as Mistress______; unless instructed by Master to do otherwise.

How do you answer the phone when you don't know who is on the line?

Does this include children?  Or family?  Or co-workers?  Or waiters? 

What about when someone asks you not to address them as such?

Is this based on biological or self-identified male/female?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to jauntyone)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 11:57:26 AM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline 		In a vanilla setting, I address almost everyone as "sir" or "ma'am". This is the south and it's how we're raised. In fact the prospective dominant I am talking to has called ME "ma'am" a few times. That's just how us "country folks" talk down here. In a BDSM setting I purposely do not use the terms "ma'am" "mistress" "sir" or "master" with anyone other than my dom because I don't anyone to assume that I'm deferring to them. I defer only to a man who is MY dominant. After all, anyone can call themselves a dom.  Doesn't prove anything to me about whether or not they are worthy of my respect.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 12:08:06 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone
I address all other men as Master ____, women as Mistress______; unless instructed by Master to do otherwise.

How do you answer the phone when you don't know who is on the line?

Does this include children?  Or family?  Or co-workers?  Or waiters? 

What about when someone asks you not to address them as such?

Is this based on biological or self-identified male/female?


i realize these questions weren't posed to me, but i'm somewhat bored and thought i would take a crack at them.

...don't answer the phone unless it's my Master calling (caller ID and all).

...ALL older (over 26) males are referred to as Sir, be they relative, waiter, stranger hawking oranges on the roadside, etc. younger males and females of any age are just referred to by name.

...although this question is mentioned a lot online (what if someone doesn't wish to be called "Sir" or "Master" by just anyone), and i've seen many Dominants online state that they do not care for this, in real life interactions i have never encountered a person who was offended by me calling them Sir or Master, or who has requested that i not refer to them in that way. if the situation occured, i would just refrain from engaging in direct communication with that person...more than likely, if a man had an issue with me calling him "Sir" or "Master John" then he wouldn't be someone my Master would want me interacting with anyway.

...biological.


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: level of respect - 2/28/2007 12:14:01 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
i realize these questions weren't posed to me, but i'm somewhat bored and thought i would take a crack at them.

...don't answer the phone unless it's my Master calling (caller ID and all).

...ALL older (over 26) males are referred to as Sir, be they relative, waiter, stranger hawking oranges on the roadside, etc. younger males and females of any age are just referred to by name.

:P I already know you have these figured out.  It's also a lot more socially inconspicuous to call a male "sir" than it is to call them "Master Randy" as Jaunty says she must.

quote:

...although this question is mentioned a lot online (what if someone doesn't wish to be called "Sir" or "Master" by just anyone), and i've seen many Dominants online state that they do not care for this, in real life interactions i have never encountered a person who was offended by me calling them Sir or Master, or who has requested that i not refer to them in that way. if the situation occured, i would just refrain from engaging in direct communication with that person...more than likely, if a man had an issue with me calling him "Sir" or "Master John" then he wouldn't be someone my Master would want me interacting with anyway.

...biological.

I've never seen anyone get offended at being called sir, or maam (though they might cringe at the age issue), but I have had people request to not be called "Master Randy" and it would be cause for annoyance to continue to do so.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 20
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