Wise and humorous quotes

Wise and humorous quotes (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity

Message

Vendaval -> Wise and humorous quotes (2/28/2007 1:22:26 PM)
What are your favorite wise and humorous quotes? These can be from a writer, comic, song, sacred text, cultural, family, etc. Please do indicate the source if you remember where you heard or read the quote. I am a big fan of Murphy's Laws, so here is one - "It is better to keep quiet and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (2/28/2007 1:24:15 PM)
The world was my oyster, but I used the wrong fork.- Oscar Wilde Master Fire

KatyLied -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (2/28/2007 1:25:07 PM)
"Brevity is the soul of lingerie." -- Dorothy Parker

mnottertail -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (2/28/2007 1:36:12 PM)
No person can be considered a failure who has been the cause of a child's laughter. Anon.

angeldevil -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (2/28/2007 1:39:32 PM)
"Remember, if you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast." Woody Allen

KatyLied -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (2/28/2007 1:45:33 PM)
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. -Thoreau

windchymes -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (2/28/2007 2:25:54 PM)
They're posted right under this sentence :)

Vendaval -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (2/28/2007 2:35:13 PM)
"The grass is always greener over the septic tank" "If God had wanted me to take you kids to church, he would have put a toilet at the end of every pew." both quotes by Erma Bombeck

domiguy -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (2/28/2007 2:57:47 PM)
The missionaries go forth to Christianize the savages- As if the savages weren't dangerous enough already. ----Edward Abbey Two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity. ----Frederick Nietzsche I founded a new group called Alcoholics Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. ----Richard Harris I would kill myself if I was as fat as Marilyn Monroe. ----Elizabeth Hurley

angeldevil -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (3/1/2007 5:06:44 AM)
"From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs" Karl Marx "Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted" Bob Monkhouse

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (3/1/2007 8:42:43 AM)
B4 ILvUQT RU/18? "It's better to be looked over than overlooked", Murphy's Law I don't exercise, If God wanted me to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. Joan Rivers

mnottertail -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (3/1/2007 8:51:30 AM)
Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately it kills all of its students. Often attributed to Robin Williams, but I am somewhat unconvinced of this.

KatyLied -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (3/1/2007 8:56:36 AM)
Stupid is as stupid does - Forrest Gump

Vendaval -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (3/1/2007 9:17:32 AM)
More sage wisdom from Murphy's Laws - "A pipe gives a wise man time to think and fool something to put in his mouth." "Friends come and go but enemies accumulate!" "The chance of a piece of bread falling butter side down on the floor is in direct proportion to the cost of the carpet."

sleazy -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (3/1/2007 9:29:08 AM)
My ship came in today I was at the bus station

toservez -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (3/1/2007 1:46:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes They're posted right under this sentence :) quote: Great minds discuss concepts. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss other people. “Great minds discuss concepts. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss other people.” I would love if the person who wrote or said this added, tiny minds can only discuss themselves. I had the right to remain silent, just not the ability – Ron White Success is a journey and not a destination. The wages of sin is death, but after taxes it leaves you with more of a tired feeling. – Paula Poundstone

Rumtiger -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (3/1/2007 1:49:07 PM)
got my quotes already too.

stockingluvr54 -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (3/1/2007 1:56:41 PM)
And the Queen said "If I had any balls...I'd be King!".....(a guy I used to cut logs with).......

windchymes -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (3/1/2007 1:59:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: toservez quote: ORIGINAL: windchymes They're posted right under this sentence :) quote: Great minds discuss concepts. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss other people. “Great minds discuss concepts. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss other people.” I would love if the person who wrote or said this added, tiny minds can only discuss themselves. I had the right to remain silent, just not the ability – Ron White Success is a journey and not a destination. The wages of sin is death, but after taxes it leaves you with more of a tired feeling. – Paula Poundstone It's such a great quote, I wish I knew who to attribute it to! I might have seen it in Reader's Digest or some publication like that, jotted it down, and kept it on hand. BTW, you gotta love Ron White [:D]

NorthernGent -> RE: Wise and humorous quotes (3/1/2007 2:02:20 PM)
A lie told often enough becomes the truth - Lenin. Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash - Winston Churchill.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125