RE: Invisable profiles

RE: Invisable profiles (Full Version)

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AquaticSub -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/6/2007 7:45:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Totalmaster4you Sometimes befor I answer a question asked in a post I see the need to know more about the poster to better answer the question asked. However, more than a few times when I've searched they are not there. So how come? I can surmise but I'd rather know.[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m21.gif[/image] Maybe their aren't looking? I know "myobedience" doesn't have her profile up because she isn't looking. As a sidenote - Did I get her name right?

Totalmaster4you -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/10/2007 1:33:16 AM)
Again thanks to all for putting in their thoughts. One thing that keeps getting repeated is the I'm not looking excuse. For me that doesn't wash. If you aren't looking just say so in large letters. Check off "friends only" in the profile. If you get someone who doesn't read then one reply of no thanks I just met someone or friends only or no thanks one time and just delete if they persist. I suppose I'm just here for the forums floats best but in trying to provide a well thought out response reading the profile to get a feel for the person can help considerability in how you structure your response.

susie -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/10/2007 2:18:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Totalmaster4you Again thanks to all for putting in their thoughts. One thing that keeps getting repeated is the I'm not looking excuse. For me that doesn't wash. If you aren't looking just say so in large letters. Check off "friends only" in the profile. If you get someone who doesn't read then one reply of no thanks I just met someone or friends only or no thanks one time and just delete if they persist. I suppose I'm just here for the forums floats best but in trying to provide a well thought out response reading the profile to get a feel for the person can help considerability in how you structure your response. Whether it washes with you or not it is a fact that there are many people on this site who are not looking. They are here to take part in the forums only. Being a submissive female putting "not looking" in 10foot high letters on my profile will not stop me being contacted by those that think it is ok to try anyway. Someone that is not looking is unlikely to post much of a profile anyway so what would you gain from a blank profile that would help you to respond more than if there is no profile?

SirDominic -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/14/2007 8:18:23 AM)
I also find it discouraging when someone that is posting on the boards chooses to hide their profile. Like the OP, when I see someone asking an interesting question, or making an outrageous (either good or bad) post, I like to pull up their profile to learn more about the person. Hiding the profile leaves a blank slate; nothing to go on but the words in the post. It annoys me when someone will pull up my profile, and use some of it as ammunition against me, but theirs is hidden. Convenient. That's only happened once, but it still galls me. I can understand why a lot of women prefer to hide their profiles, because of the volume of mail they get. We all know that stating in a profile Not Looking is just about pointless, because there are always going to be people who are going to email anyway. Yet I think there are other ways to minimize this problem, even if it cannot be completely solved. For one, take off your pictures. Profiles without pictures get much less attention. For another, if you say in your profile you are not looking, and someone ignores that, simply delete the message. There is no reason for a polite response to someone who isn't being polite to you. Finally, although I know it is not true in most cases, it is always in the back of my mind "What are they hiding" when a profile is hidden. Again, I realize that there are probably few who have turned it off because they are hiding something, yet that thought always crosses my mind. I guess I consider it as not playing fair with the people who DO post their profiles. Namaste, Sir Dominic

dawntreader -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/14/2007 10:50:54 PM)
quote: ...although I know it is not true in most cases, it is always in the back of my mind "What are they hiding" when a profile is hidden. SirDominic Twice i have been told to deactivate my profile by the Dominant while in the initial stages of those relationships. However, i was still allowed to post on the message boards. Not ONLY did i feel i was hiding something even though i wasn't, but i felt like a lurker. i was also afraid that if i had a point to make, i would not be taken as seriously...

SirDominic -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/15/2007 6:41:05 AM)
Good point, dawn. I also tend to take less seriously anyone who posts, but who won't show their profile. That is probably not fair as there are some legitimate reasons for people not to show their profile. Fair or not, that is how I feel. I have never understood why Dominants need to have their subs take down their profiles. Seems petty to me, or that the Dom is not secure in themselves. If a Dom takes you, either under consideration, or completely, that should be stated at the top of your profile. "I am taken", or "I am owned by xxxx". That should be sufficient. Namaste, Sir Dominic

KatyLied -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/15/2007 6:45:26 AM)
quote: I have never understood why Dominants need to have their subs take down their profiles. Even better are the Doms who write on their sub's profiles that they check the mail, then proceed to complain (on the profile/journal) about Doms that contact their subs (can't you see she's taken?), it's like screaming "hey look at me, I'm the most insecure Dom this sub could've chosen."

dawntreader -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/15/2007 7:02:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirDominic Good point, dawn. I also tend to take less seriously anyone who posts, but who won't show their profile. That is probably not fair as there are some legitimate reasons for people not to show their profile. Fair or not, that is how I feel. I have never understood why Dominants need to have their subs take down their profiles. Seems petty to me, or that the Dom is not secure in themselves. If a Dom takes you, either under consideration, or completely, that should be stated at the top of your profile. "I am taken", or "I am owned by xxxx". That should be sufficient. Namaste, Sir Dominic Yes, upon reflection, i agree with you...however - at the time i took it as a task in which i should show compliance to for the sake of the relationship. While i was not "pleased" with the task - my pleasure about this was NOT the point but my willingness to obey was. Now, i see some tasks/requests as quite petty, and in the scheme of a heathy dynamic, irrelevant and signs of insecurity...

SirDominic -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/15/2007 10:53:12 AM)
Katy, I agree with you. Doms who have to read all their subs emails either are off the deep end into control issues, or as you said, are insecure as hell. dawn, you are quite correct. It is not up to you. It is your role to obey, so you did the right thing. In the future, I would just look at a potential Dom a bit more closely if he insisted on your hiding your profile. It is saying something about him, and not in a good way. Namaste, Sir Dominic

KatyLied -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/15/2007 10:55:59 AM)
I can understand it as an exercise in control or something having to do with trust issues. What gets me is the Doms who then write on the sub's profiles/journals yelling at other Doms for what they write. I find it hilarious.

dawntreader -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/15/2007 4:43:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirDominic dawn, you are quite correct. It is not up to you. It is your role to obey, so you did the right thing. In the future, I would just look at a potential Dom a bit more closely if he insisted on your hiding your profile. It is saying something about him, and not in a good way. Namaste, Sir Dominic Thankyou :-) i have become quite a bit wiser than i was thanks to experience and several good friends here at CM.

Dnomyar -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/16/2007 9:42:49 AM)
I can see what a Dom/Domme would want their subs to take down their profile. How many women have put taken or owned on their profiles and have had people stop bothering them . Not many. Besides why would they need their profile up after they are taken.

dawntreader -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/16/2007 11:07:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I can see what a Dom/Domme would want their subs to take down their profile. How many women have put taken or owned on their profiles and have had people stop bothering them . Not many. Besides why would they need their profile up after they are taken. For these message boards...i think i mentioned how i felt while deactivated and posting...others may have more of a problem with mail than i do - i only recieve a handful a day so they must be either reading my profile or moving on to younger, more attractive types! LOL

eyesopened -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/17/2007 6:44:31 AM)
The problem is ya can't please everyone. There have been lots of rants about profiles of those folks who aren't seeking, if someone is collared they shouldn't have a profile here yadda yadda yadda.... BUT if someone deactivates their profile and they post on the boards someone will shoot out a flame about that. i am not formally collared and i discussed with my Dom that i like to read and post on the boards and would like to keep my profile active but change it so that i am not misleading anyone, which i did.

MasterCurios -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/17/2007 8:36:17 AM)
i have encountered the same which i assume to mean they have not been approved yet but can still ask questions.

grlneedstolearn -> RE: Invisable profiles (3/17/2007 11:19:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: onestandingstill I've heard there's a way to deactivate your profile without having to delete it, but I've never found the button that makes that happen. Any clue how to turn it off??? Go into "My Profile" and at the top of the page you have a few options of "Deleting Profile, Deactivate Profile, and one other that i can't remember

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