RE: At what point do you consider yourself exclusive?

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RE: At what point do you consider yourself exclusive? - 3/12/2007 3:28:28 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

When people first start playing/becoming intimate with each other, it is an awkward time because guidelines are not yet in place. It leads to more than one misunderstanding and argument. The two people have started to feel passion together and communicate on that close, intimate level, but there are lingering past things to clear up and the future is still noncommittal.

Jealousy is probably at a high during this time frame. It is a time of many break-ups. Things done that weaken the potential relationship will be remembered and discussed forever, but they are really a result of no clear definition of the relationship.

Eventually, you decide, what the relationship is and what guidelines will be followed. If there is trust enough to build, things work out fine. If one party can’t uphold the trust of the other, things tend to go south.

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RE: At what point do you consider yourself exclusive? - 3/12/2007 6:14:36 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Since I'm poly I never think of anyone with me as exclusive in the "only you and me, kid" way.

However, once someone signs an ownership contract with me then I have authority over their freetime and who they spend it with. I do exercise that authority so no one should sign anything with me unless they trust me to use said authority wisely.

This is one of the reasons why I might train someone with a partner but would never sign an ownership contract with someone who had another partner. I'm looking for authority and I don't feel like sharing it with another partner. Any new partner I would give my slave permission to have would need to deal with the fact that my slave's first priority is me not her or him.

So while my slaves are expected to be recognize my authority exclusively in terms of romantic or sexual relationships that does not translate into having only me as their romantic or sexual partner. It doesn't even translate into having me as their only kink partner only that I am the owner and no one else is.

Yes, I would free a slave who wanted to sign an ownership contract with someone else -- I'd free them immediately, no questions asked frankly because in the world I live in I have no legally or socially recognized authority over them, only that which we create for is and which benefits both of us.

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And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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