quote:

Author: Sam Vaknin
The masochist has been taught from an early age to hate herself and consider herself unworthy of love and worthless as a person. Consequently, he or she is prone to self-destructive, punishing, and self-defeating behaviors. Though capable of pleasure and possessed of social skills, the masochist avoids or undermines pleasurable experiences. He does not admit to enjoying himself, seeks suffering, pain, and hurt in relationships and situations, rejects help and resents those who offer it. She actively renders futile attempts to assist or ameliorate or mitigate or solve her problems and predicaments.
These self-penalizing behaviors are self-purging: they intend to relieve the masochist of overwhelming, pent-up anxiety. The masochist's conduct is equally aimed at avoiding intimacy and its benefits: companionship and support.
Masochists tend to choose people and circumstances that inevitably and predictably lead to failure, disillusionment, disappointment, and mistreatment. Conversely, they tend to avoid relationships, interactions, and circumstances that are likely to result in success or gratification. They reject, disdain, or even suspect people who consistently treat them well. Masochists find caring, loving persons sexually unattractive.
The masochist typically adopts unrealistic goals and thus guarantees underachievement. Masochists routinely fail at mundane tasks, even when these are crucial to their own advancement and personal objectives and even when they adequately carry out similar assignments on behalf of others. The DSM gives this example: "helps fellow students write papers, but is unable to write his or her own".

quote:

ORIGINAL: jadein

It could be that they aren't clueless to people enjoying pain ... and I would wager they in fact aren't clueless about it at all ... but thier argument would be that it's not "normal" for a person to enjoy pain ... physical or otherwise.   I was a psycology major in college ... I didn't finish, but it is a passion of mine.  I can't speak as eloquently as some others might but hopefully I can get my thoughts across clearly.  Most in the psycology/psychiatry field would say it goes against human nature to seek out painful situations to thrive on it. 

I've always said that I'm a pretty neurotic person .... this lifestyle is just another notch in the neurotic belt.   I wouldn't say that I'm a physical masochist ... but I do tend to torture myself with emotional crap all the time .... I think that's probably not a good thing LOL