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RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 3:13:43 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
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OMG! assmaster...you actually wrote a response that DIDN'T include anal sex! You feeling ok? Perhaps, Thor is sick.

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Post #: 21

RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 3:58:11 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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That's why I usually don't respond because I have found that rejection makes people come back with unpleasant, spiteful remarks. Whereas no response is more likely not to get any such.

Possibly it is rude to not respond to someone who is interested in what I specifically state I'm not into, but quite equally they are being rude by not reading my profile. Delete, ignore and block.

(in reply to KennelDeSade2)

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Post #: 22

RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 4:16:20 AM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

I always try and leave the door open for people. People change, grow, learn. I have often not had answers to my emails. That's up to the person themselves. I can try and teach people good manners but I don't always succeed.
I can try and teach people what the lifestyle is about for me but I don't always succeed.
If someone doesn't want to learn they won't.
I've been a teacher long enough to know that.
Sometimes people learn to change on the outside but not really change on the inside.
However kindness and understanding doesn't take a lot of effort and the rewards are great.
I've never felt the need to block anyone.
Anger is sometimes better vented and let's face it it doesn't actually hurt me.

(in reply to KennelDeSade2)

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Post #: 23

RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 5:31:42 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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afeathr you do have nice legs. A simple thank you for your interest but no thanks is enough. After that it is the ignore button.

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Post #: 24

RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 5:38:04 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

how do you respond? I have had some pretty defensive reply emails.... I must tell you when responding I am always polite, with a thanks but no thanks, so it I wonder what is it that makes him so defensive ? Why act so silly?

How is it you say thanks but no thanks and not recieve a flame in return ?

Me? I go "Ok so we wouldn't work. Next please."

As for not getting flames, good luck. It's like saying no to a guy in a bar and he calls you a slut. There isn't a lot you can do except ignore it and know that whatever causes that reaction (if it was unprovoked) is make things harder for him to get a good relationship in the future.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 3/5/2007 5:39:34 AM >

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Post #: 25

RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 7:46:14 AM

swtrayn

Posts: 222
Joined: 2/21/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Helspar

It is better to be alone for the right reasons than with someone for the wrong.

So, very true.

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Post #: 26

RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 7:55:22 AM

swtrayn

Posts: 222
Joined: 2/21/2007
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I have been lucky so far on not getting any flame email. I do get a few emails from people who don't understand "not looking". I tell them I am not, explain that I am not, then get back 50 reasons why I should be, and why it should be them.

But on a good note.. I been have lucky to find some very interesting people on CM I hope to become friends with.

So, if i have to get a few flames to make me realize that I am lucky for the friends I have made on here.

Then it is worth it.

rayn

(I am smiley happy today )

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"I tried to contain myself -- I escaped..."

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RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 10:45:26 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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I raised two teenagers, one female, I have developed a very good ignore feature when it comes to snarky remarks.

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Post #: 28

RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 11:01:25 AM

SingleRarity

Posts: 320
Joined: 9/13/2006
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When I first started dating online I would reply to people that I wasn't interested in with a polite "thanks but no thank you", and I was surprised by how often people responded with angry replies. I don't get it, and still don't, but now I simply don't respond if I'm not interested.

(in reply to simplewhispers)

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Post #: 29

RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 11:17:05 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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If they don't take a polite thanks but no thanks I tend to ask that if they can't even submit to that one simple thing then I was obviously right about the worth of the rest of what they had to offer. Not that I have ever had many argue the point :)

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Post #: 30

RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 11:30:52 AM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

how do you respond? I have had some pretty defensive reply emails.... I must tell you when responding I am always polite, with a thanks but no thanks, so it I wonder what is it that makes him so defensive ? Why act so silly?

How is it you say thanks but no thanks and not recieve a flame in return ?

I've only been flamed once for saying thanks but no thanks.

I usually jsut say honestly why i'm not interested. Wrong location, age, whatever.

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Post #: 31

RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 2:16:21 PM

simplewhispers

Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
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I am thinking as to how I would want to be treated..... however that does not seem to matter , I tell you its cause I am openly searching and they think if I am , then they must be the answer to my prayers, however I am gonna utilize yalls advice....

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Post #: 32

RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 2:39:03 PM

MistressNoName

Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
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Here's my 2-cents, simplewhispers,

When people get turned-down, or rejected, it's hurtful. And some people can't process that hurt very well, so they feel the compulsion to take out their hurt on others. We do it all the time, even those of us who don't do it MOST of the time, do it at least SOME of the time. So you rejected him and he was hurt by that and then he got mean with you about it. That's how he processes.

Then in turn, you get this response from him, which is hurtful to you...and my only hope is that you process your hurt in a more mature and more helpful manner, and that you understand that there is nothing you can do about his reactions. You have no control over his or the actions of any other. You can only conduct yourself in the best way possible.

And I have had to learn this lesson myself from having a few doozy interactions with folks myself...life is life on it's own terms.

Best,

MNN

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Post #: 33

RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 3:37:11 PM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
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Form letters: get corrected for spelling and grammar and returned

Vague notes like "hi", "you're cute" etc...: get vague answers back like "hi", "thanks" nothing more

Demands to respond generally get a polite no response, unless i'm in a pissy mood then they get a smart ass response.

Anyone who seems to have actually read the profile and are polite get a nice personal response either yes or no, and those no's tend to get a thanks for responding and wishing them well.

The flamers are always going to be out there. Depends on my mood whether i ignore, block, or just get more sarcastic than them....

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RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 7:00:27 PM

ArchangelMichael

Posts: 243
Joined: 8/21/2004
From: New Orleans, LA
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As long as you are polite, I don't see a problem. Those who become defensive are the ones with the problem, not you. I, at least, appreciate a response even if you aren't interested. It lets me know that you've taken the time to read the thoughtful message that I took the time to write. I agree that those who write one-liners or who don't pay any attention to your profile don't deserve a response, but I think it's a polite to give at least a short reply if the person wrote a well-thought message.

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Post #: 35

RE: when someone turns you down - 3/5/2007 7:30:49 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

how do you respond? I have had some pretty defensive reply emails.... I must tell you when responding I am always polite, with a thanks but no thanks, so it I wonder what is it that makes him so defensive ? Why act so silly?

How is it you say thanks but no thanks and not recieve a flame in return ?

I just say....

"Okay...so...what about your girlfriend?"

(in reply to simplewhispers)

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Post #: 36

RE: when someone turns you down - 3/6/2007 2:15:03 AM

lucyn

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/18/2007
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I find I never know what to write in a email (a intro one)
I agree with emails I get (the odd one) if the profile has no detail or photo then its a no no

(in reply to KennelDeSade2)

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Post #: 37