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collar's - 3/5/2007 3:30:39 AM   
phoenix41


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/5/2007
Status: offline 		I am new to the site and to the meaning behind a submissive wearing a collar. Let me explain.. Previously i have thought and still do that a girl wearing a collar looks extremely sexually attractive to me. However, i have met a submissive girl and when i asked if she would wear one for me during sex, she hesitated and asked me to find out from the message board what this actually means for someone like her.. please can all you subs give me advice on this thanks!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 3:42:10 AM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		It means different things to different people, but I assume you are just talking about a "kink" during sex.  That is all it means if that is what you give it, and shouldn't have a lot read into it.  I think that people overthink things sometimes a bit too much.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to phoenix41)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 4:13:42 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix41

I am new to the site and to the meaning behind a submissive wearing a collar. Let me explain.. Previously i have thought and still do that a girl wearing a collar looks extremely sexually attractive to me. However, i have met a submissive girl and when i asked if she would wear one for me during sex, she hesitated and asked me to find out from the message board what this actually means for someone like her.. please can all you subs give me advice on this thanks!


It means different things to a lot of people.



If Valyraen wants me to wear a collar during sex it means he wants to chain me up or pull on a leash. When he asks me to wear his collar, then he is asking the d/s equivalent of "will you marry me?". There are lots of people who don't approve of a woman wearing a collar until she is formally owned. I don't hold with that because I think it's sexy and fun as a playtoy. However, others do and it's something that, in my opinion, should be respected.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to phoenix41)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 4:39:43 AM   
JulesBloke


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		Hello,
This is an interesting area, there are a few for whom it is just a toy for use during sex...but for most it holds a much higher status, some see wearing someones collar as a statement of intent....almost as an alternative to a wedding ring. I think I know who you are talking about Sir....and I am sure that it is something that she would only consider if she really felt that she had found her guy.....smiles.
It is not uncommen within the scene for people to have quite lavish Collaring ceremonies and to submit themselves in front of friend and like minded others as a way of showing the importance they attach to the process. Most submissives like this one resist collars untill they are sure that the colleror is someone they really can commit to.
I hope this helps, but feel free to ask more if you wish.
Best Regards
Julian

(in reply to phoenix41)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 5:52:32 AM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline 		Unlike others, I have a very different opinion and maybe some hold to mine as well.
Either way, it is how my heart and soul feel about the idea of a collar.
It is like a marriage certificate... if it is the only thing holding a marriage together, forget it. Divorce.
Collars are not sexy to me, and he has a genuine need to keep me a lady in public, esp those that look like dog collars and I dont want to wear one.  I dont believe a collar is any different than a marriage certificate.  Its a materialistic object that supposedly joins the D side of the coin s side.  
Actions, open communication and the exchange of control/authority with obedience is the real heart of the relationship and committment. 
When it is time to make a committment, I have this intuitive feeling it wont be with a symbol of show.  I know to whom I will belong and he will know who honors that committment.
These days I wear too much awareness jewelery anyway.....  and I am damned proud to  make an awareness statement.  I would be as damned proud to wear a nice peice of jewelery honoring my committment, but I would like to know he might consider something too.  I think he might think on that, based upon my past and how protective he is of me at this point. So like the coin has a D and s side, I would think he and I would have something shared that way too.  
Maybe nipple rings ! hehehehe 
Come check me out on MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/awarenessyourbestdefense

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to JulesBloke)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 6:00:22 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have never worn a collar for play or as a symbol of commitment. Both dominant men I have been involved with have seen it as a heavy commitment and I guess because of that I have grown to see it that way too.

We have discussed my wearing one for public play, but he has not bought one for me yet, and I think even that is a sign of commitment for him on some level. It is all in how people view it, and from what you related in your OP, this submissive may see it as a commitment.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to phoenix41)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 6:00:40 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix41

I am new to the site and to the meaning behind a submissive wearing a collar. Let me explain.. Previously i have thought and still do that a girl wearing a collar looks extremely sexually attractive to me. However, i have met a submissive girl and when i asked if she would wear one for me during sex, she hesitated and asked me to find out from the message board what this actually means for someone like her.. please can all you subs give me advice on this thanks!


In Your relationship it should not matter what the community thinks and if you are the Dominant, it is your choice if she wears one to "play" in or not...

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to phoenix41)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 6:01:29 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Collars can be used in play and that is all they mean. A collared sub or slave means something alot more. Collars mean whatever meaning you put behind them. I am collared to Master which means to me that I am his and he owns every part of me. We have a collar for play that only means it is play time.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to phoenix41)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 6:06:07 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

In Your relationship it should not matter what the community thinks and if you are the Dominant, it is your choice if she wears one to "play" in or not...


Shouldn't it matter a little bit what she thinks? For me it would be terribly cruel to put a diamond ring on my left hand just for play and sex, and that is comparable to how I'm guessing she feels about a collar. It would be like a terrible punishment and it would certainly be a fuck to my mind and my emotions in a very bad way.

Athough, now that I think about it, why didn't she just tell him what she thinks instead of telling him to come to the message board?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 6:19:23 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		well, i feel a collar should have a special meaning behind it and not be viewed  as a"velcro jewelry" (collared one week and uncollared the next). all my 2 collars (soon 3) have special meaning to my relationship with Daddy. i wear my daily metal wedding ring to symbolize my committment to Daddy until death do we part. my 2nd collar (princess one) symbolizes His how much he loves and cares for me as a submissive - this one was given as a Valentine's Day present. my 3rd one (coming by Fri/Sat) will represent that i'm Daddy's "whore". it's demeaning or degrading to be called a "whore" however when Daddy calls me that, it's done in love.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 6:27:33 AM   
sweetkcredhead


Posts: 104
Joined: 3/1/2004
Status: offline 		My opinion only is that a collar should be felt around the heart before it is felt around the neck. Ive only been offered one collar and i turned it down because i didnt feel that commitment. On the flip side, the one person i would have accepted it from never offered. If i ever wear a collar it will have the upmost significance.

sarah1

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 6:59:54 AM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		I want one .......... for inside and out ..... I want that feeling of ..... being claimed ....

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to sweetkcredhead)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 7:15:58 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_498653/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#498670
The Coveted and Legendary Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_531609/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#531610
Collaring vs Wearing a collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_547321/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#547475
The meaning of a collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_485613/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#485797
Please share with me (what being collared means to you)

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=427111&mpage=1&key=collaring&#427257
being collared

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=410988&mpage=1&key=collaring&#411019
public collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_291301/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#291301
Collar vs Wedding Ring

http://www.collarchat.com/m_287566/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#287566
Another Question Regarding the Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=323687&mpage=1&key=collaring&#323702
collars (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_287140/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#287140
Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_264867/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#264867
Sub Thoughts on collars

http://www.collarchat.com/m_248345/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#248345
collar before love

http://www.collarchat.com/m_247668/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#247668
ring or collar, what's the difference?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_219135/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#219135
What does a collar mean?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_190240/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#190240
collar or what else?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_187244/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#187244
Accepting a collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_184946/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#184946
Timeframe for a Collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_177155/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#177155
collar (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_165733/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#165733
collars

http://www.collarchat.com/m_151638/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#151638
Collar Ceremony

http://www.collarchat.com/m_150934/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#150934
Losing the Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_132702/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#132702
From chat to collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_124898/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#124898
Wearing training collar in public

http://www.collarchat.com/m_81449/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#81449
What are the collar types/levels please?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_80281/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#80281
When is the right time to collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_70392/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#70392
Collars and collaring

http://www.collarchat.com/m_61337/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#61337
Collar conundrum?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_59686/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#59686
Color of collars?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_55592/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#55592
Collars when?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_27368/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#27368
Kind of a collar question?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_11451/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#11451
Collaring a submissive?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_428/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#428
What is your definition of a training collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_402/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#402
Multiple collars or single collar?


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to phoenix41)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 10:00:02 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenix41

I am new to the site and to the meaning behind a submissive wearing a collar. Let me explain.. Previously i have thought and still do that a girl wearing a collar looks extremely sexually attractive to me. However, i have met a submissive girl and when i asked if she would wear one for me during sex, she hesitated and asked me to find out from the message board what this actually means for someone like her.. please can all you subs give me advice on this thanks!


OK some seem to be responding to you as her Dominant.... when you clearly state you are new to even the idea of a submissive... let alone to any thoughts as to wether you may or may not be a Dom..

In one sense, physicaly it is just a loop of material.... you know what else is just a loop of material? Wedding rings..... and what would the emotional responce be from many girls if you slipped one of those on their finger?

That she stopped and asked you to go this route shows clearly that she DOESN'T just respond to it as a loop of material. It has a clear emotional resonance with her and that is likely to be tied in with OWNERSHIP to some degree or another.

If you go that route, just be sure you are aware of the responcibilitys that go along with it and the work, even just on yourself, that you are about to undertake..... Hopefully the journey will be a rewarding one :)


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to phoenix41)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 10:11:44 AM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		Play collars are for play only. For me these are used when scening with people with whom you do not have a permenant relationship. It is a sign of the agreement you have made to each other for the evening/weekend/etc. It seals this relationship and shows your trust in each other and understanding of each others requirements, desires and limits. When it comes off play is done.

To be COLLARED, on the other hand is to make a significant committment to each other that transcends play or anything else. It is similar to marriage and should not be easily broken. Also just as taking off a wedding ring does not lessen the marriage committment, physically wearing a collar or not is just choice, it doesn't change the level of this relationship either.

These opinions are entirely mine, based on my own experiences, and are not meant to influence anyone elses, k? 

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 10:38:24 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		I have been in bdsm for too many years and still can count on 6 fingers the collars I have slipped around a pretty neck.. the online velcro collars isn't for us...I prefer after a year or two to offer a collar to a devote slave,metal for home and a pretty one for events.It doesn't make a damm what you wear around your neck if your heart isn't enslaved as well.DIANE is getting into making  a wonderful round beaded collar for sell look for them soon on ebay ..bounty

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 10:41:36 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		Some off site links germain to the issue.

Collars and Traditions
http://www.castlerealm.com/library/morecollars.shtml

Collaring
http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/sub_collars.php3

Collars Explained
http://www.erotic-bdsm.net/Articles/The_Collar.html

The Collar of Consideration
http://www.steel-door.com/Consideration_Collar.html

The Formal Collar
http://www.steel-door.com/Formal_Collar.html

The Training Collar
http://www.steel-door.com/Training_Collar.html


_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 1:26:56 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with what so many others have said, what a collar means to you and her is up to you and her. For me and mine, a collar represents a deep commitment to each other and to the relationship. I wear a wedding ring to represent my marriage to my husband. All three of us wear a collar of sorts to represent our dedication to our relationship.
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: collar's - 3/5/2007 4:35:35 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline 		I would not hand out a collar to just anybody.  It's the same thing as engagement or wedding ring.  I wonder if they make sets of rings and collars together?  MMmmm... interesting thought there...


(in reply to phoenix41)
Profile   Post #: 19
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